Never Wake up a Sleeping Dragon
by Zinnia QueenOfChaos
Summary: Harry and Draco are in Hogwarts for their 7th (8th) year. Since the war they have been silent but not ignorant towards each other, until one day it all changes. Draco thinks Potter is tormenting him on purpose. Is he? Things end up in a situation from which there is no way back. Warnings: MA content, gay sex, forced sex, domination. Disclaimer: I don't own them, J.K. Rowling does
1. A Metaphor for fighting

_**Never Wake up a Sleeping Dragon**_

**Zinnia says:** For once I wanted to write a very short story. Here we go…

**Story Description**: Harry/Draco, 8th year. They've been silent but not ignorant towards each other since the summer but one autumn day things take a whole new direction. Draco thinks Potter's torturing him on purpose. Harry is pretty much as clueless as ever, and things soon reach a point where the going back might not be a possibility anymore.  
The story goes on from autumn until Christmas, and the question is; how far will the boys go?

Quote: _"You've stolen the last bits of my pride, Potter. Now I'm going to do the same to you." Draco whispered and enjoyed the panic flashing through Potter's eyes._

**Disclaimer**: I don't own the characters, J.K. Rowling does. No money was being made with this story.

**Warnings**: Forced sex, domination, gay sex, anything else you think you've found while you read this.

My beta for this story has been **slytherinprincess8870, **so I owe her a big thank you!  
Check my profile if you want to know when I publish the next chapter or what I'm doing right now.  
I like to hear my reader's thoughts about my stories so **please leave a review or a pm, thank you!**

Chapter 1 _**A Metaphor for fighting**_

Draco thought it was actually quite nice to be back in Hogwarts for his 7th year. Of course they were named 8th year students since they missed their seventh year in the war. He wished he could take back some of the things he once had thought and said aloud.  
Especially when he'd thought Hogwarts was useless as a school. Right now he didn't care about his grades like he once had; now it was all just to enjoy the peaceful and normal atmosphere.  
Some things had changed of course, it wasn't the same school it used to be but it still felt familiar and safe and that was exactly where Draco wanted to be.

Somewhere safe and familiar, with people around.

The biggest changes in his life were roughly said these: the deaths of his parents, losing the family fortunes, losing the value of their family name, losing his home and along with all these he had lost a part of his identity.

Also things with Potter had changed during the summer and Draco thought about it a lot.  
Potter had testified in Draco's trial and right after gave him his wand back.

It was then when things changed. Or it might've started already the day when Potter saved him from the fire, Draco wasn't sure.

Draco thought about the trial day at least once every day. He felt like Potter had saved him from a future in Azkaban. It was all because of Potter Draco was here now, able to walk around the castle and plan his future.

Draco had no family. It felt strange and he tried very hard not to think about it. He tried to keep himself occupied with other thoughts. There would be no point in constant grieving when all he should do was to try to gather himself together and try to find a way to live his own life now.

Here he was and felt fairly normal; this could've just as well been any other year in Hogwarts, so normal everything felt. And yet, everything had already changed.

He had no money because the Ministry had taken it all away from him. He didn't know what kind of a future he could possibly have. He didn't really have anything. Not even friends.

Well, he shared a small room with Zabini this year and they had developed something, which was probably the closest to a friendship Draco could have. They got along, and left each other alone, didn't mind the other's business and spent some time together talking about things, which were unimportant.

With Potter… and this was what Draco thought about a lot. With Potter they had developed something which resembled a truce. It began on the day of the trial when Potter handed back Draco's wand.  
Draco didn't say thank you.  
They stood in the massive, empty corridor and stared at each other in silence.

When Potter reached out his hand, he had Draco's wand in it. Draco hesitated a little before reaching for it. Their fingers met. Potter's fingers were warm as Draco wrapped his fingers around the wand and silently pulled it away from Potter's.

The wand felt strange, unfamiliar but Draco didn't even look at the wand, he stared at Potter and tried to force himself to thank him. He couldn't. He was too embarrassed because Potter had saved him today, and this was the second time if you counted the fiendfyre.

So they stood there. Staring and neither of them said anything for a long while. Draco was too proud, the small words of a simple thanks were stuck somewhere inside his throat and he just couldn't get them out.

Potter's eyes were green and intense. Eventually Potter took one step back and looked in Draco's eyes for the one last time before turning around and slowly walking away.  
Draco stared after him and it felt like a goodbye.

At that time Draco suddenly thought he might never see Potter again, maybe Potter thought the same about Draco. So Draco stood there, watched his back until the Gryffindor walked out of the big glass door, and into the busy street.

What surrounded Draco was an uncomfortable silence. Yes, the silence had been quite uncomfortable with Potter too but it had been an intense silence between two people who knew things had changed between them but didn't know how, and how they were supposed to act with each other now.  
The silence which surrounded Draco after Potter had left made him feel suddenly very alone.  
He was lonely. He swallowed and it was difficult, his throat felt constricted.

For one second he had a fleeting thought; he wanted to run after Potter and thank him, beg for forgiveness for everything Draco had ever done to him and ask where Potter was going, what Potter would do now, what plans he had for future…

He swallowed again. He felt lonely.

But it was all back then. Now he was in Hogwarts and surprise, Potter was there too. They shared almost all of their classes. They never talked to each other. Never.

Draco wasn't sure but it felt like a rule, almost like it was something they both had agreed on; let's not talk to each other, ever, and we'll be able to exist without getting in each other's way.

It suited Draco just fine. Because even though they never exchanged any words, they never ignored each other either. They stared into each other's eyes.

That felt good. It felt really good because so many other people ignored or pretended to be ignoring Draco completely. Students hated him. It was okay as long as they didn't beat him up every week, which they actually didn't so Draco was okay with it. He thought he might get used to the silence around him. Get used to the loneliness. Being an only child and all, it should be fairly easy.

Potter made him feel significant every time he looked in Draco's eyes. If Potter could see him, it meant Draco still existed. It was good. Draco didn't want to go back to the fighting they used to do but he actually missed having contact with people and sometimes when he was trying to sleep he thought about how nice it would be to have a proper fist fight with Potter.

To grab at the Gryffindor's dark hair, hear his furious grunts, feel Potter's fingers on his skin, scratching and peeling the skin off in some places, trying to land his fists anywhere on the boy's body, see the fire in the green eyes which would be narrowed in anger.  
That would break the silence between them. Potter would concentrate completely on Draco during that moment.  
The adrenaline, it would feel like nothing else existed, just the two of them, and right at that moment they would be each other's everything.

Draco had never been a person who enjoyed cuddling. He always felt suffocated when people (especially when Pansy had done that) wrapped themselves around his neck. It was awful.

Instead Draco liked the fighting better. It was as close as you could get someone.  
It was intense, intimate and anything you did was okay because the rules were set by the two of you. You could bite, scratch and say anything you wanted to, it was okay.  
It was almost like sex.  
It was just as secretive; you couldn't get caught or you'd get into trouble, so this would stay between them, a secret.  
There was the climax too; the moment when one of them had to give up.  
Yes, it was that moment they always fought for, to gain the upper hand, make the other give up.

Sometimes the climax wasn't what they had expected it to be, sometimes it could be an unfamiliar curse with unexpected effects; one of them could be lying on a bathroom floor, covered in blood and bleeding, and the pain…

Yes, the climax could be something unexpected sometimes.

The fighting was good though. Draco missed it. He missed it a lot. The adrenaline raced in his blood every time he thought of Potter.

It was like his body was preparing him for an attack, an animalistic outburst of raw and suppressed emotions. The fire, Potter still carried that fire in his eyes – not the afterglow of the fiendfyre, but the nice, intense fire which told Draco Potter was prepared for it too.  
It felt good. Potter gave him a lot of excitement when everyone else ignored him.  
Potter was probably more important now than ever before.

He probably should've been worried when he was comparing fighting with Potter with having sex but he did feel like they had similar characteristics.  
Draco even knew what Potter felt like on top of him. Yes, it was that one time in fifth, the quick fight before the teacher had spelled them apart. The whole class had been watching their fight and Draco couldn't remember what had been the trigger, had Draco said something about Sirius Black? It didn't matter. What mattered was how Potter's body had felt on top of him. His weight, warmth, the shapes of his arms and waist and his voice filled with sharp words, shouting in Draco's ear, leaving his ear ticklish the rest of the day.  
Potter had been grabbing Draco's hair, keeping him in place to shout those words, and Draco's arms felt useless. He tried to push Potter away from the waist but all he could remember was how Potter's hip bones felt like under his palms.

He liked Potter's body. He really did.  
It was okay, he had had plenty of time to accept it; only no-one else would ever find out about it.

Draco was gay, he accepted that too. If everyone knew, it didn't matter. There was no father or mother encouraging a Malfoy blood line – no, he could fuck wizards all he wanted to. Which he even didn't.

With this on his mind Draco sat in the back of the Potions class, Zabini was sitting next to him. Everything was as normal as it was possible for him right now. He would survive somehow.


	2. The First Bruise

Chapter 2 _**The First Bruise**_

Harry saw Malfoy walking the corridor towards the Slytherin dungeons. He ran after him and yelled, "Malfoy!"

Malfoy stopped and turned around slowly, his expression as nonchalant as always.

Harry felt a little breathless although the run was short. As Harry stepped closer to his former arch-nemesis he clenched his jaw. He was waiting for Malfoy to say something cruel but the Slytherin didn't say anything, he simply stared at Harry.

For a fleeting moment Harry wasn't sure when he'd last heard Malfoy's voice. Maybe during the trial because the whole autumn until now Malfoy had not spoken to anyone, at least not so Harry would've seen or heard it happen.

Harry stared in the familiar grey eyes, "I want to suggest something. You think that… you think that you might be… interested in having a talk with me?"

Harry was having difficulties finding the right words. It was completely unfamiliar to try to talk to Malfoy in a civil way; to ask for co-operation of some sort.

Malfoy frowned a little and was quiet for a while.  
Harry clenched his jaw again and prepared himself for some sort of humiliation.

"Talk then," was all Malfoy said and Harry twitched a little because the voice sounded both strange and familiar.

"Uhm…"  
Yes, Harry was really having trouble finding the right words, or any words in fact.  
When no retort came, Harry forced himself to speak, "I know this is very strange but… I was wondering about the Quidditch season tickets Slughorn was talking about. I uhm… I know you like Quidditch, and I like it too and… I really badly want to win those tickets. So…"

Harry stopped and took a deep breath. This was just as hard as he thought it would be, or perhaps even more so.  
The silence they had kept the whole autumn made this difficult. Back in the days when they were fighting it was easy to shout something offensive but now it was all different.  
The silence felt too strong to break but Harry had decided to do it anyway.

Malfoy didn't say anything, he was clearly listening to Harry so finally Harry forced himself to talk again,

"I wondered whether you and I could make a deal. If we'd be able to work together with the potion assignment and try to get the tickets. Unless you already have a partner for that. Do you?"

Malfoy narrowed his eyes and shook his head a little but didn't say anything so Harry went on,

"Since we have to get a partner from some other house, it would make sense. And I know you're good in potions and you know how much Slughorn gives me extra credit I don't deserve so I thought… maybe if we worked together we might be able to win the other teams. Also I thought we might have an advantage since everyone would probably think we aren't able to work together so they wouldn't even realise we are a threat. I assumed you'd like to win the tickets as much as I do. You would, right?"

Malfoy frowned again and then asked, "Why don't you just buy the tickets? You have money and the necessary contacts to get just as good seats."

Harry knew he was blushing. He knew Malfoy would ask that but Harry really didn't want to tell him.  
It was so embarrassing Harry still couldn't believe it had really happened.  
Ron had been there too, he could confirm it really had happened. Harry had wanted to buy these exact same tickets during the summer but the wizard selling those special tickets had said to Harry a sentence like this, 'I'll give you tickets alright. I'll make them take you in the team too if you have sex with me'.

Harry and Ron had both stared in bewilderment before turning around and walking away.  
Harry was actually pretty used to hearing strange things from people after the war. There were fans and then there were freaks. What was so different about this particular moment was that Harry had just a week ago admitted to himself he was gay and had just told Ron that exact same morning.

Although Ron had been okay with it, it had been a big thing to happen – to have a wizard offering sex to Harry the same day! For Merlin's sake.

That was why Harry couldn't buy the tickets.  
That was why Harry could barely hear the word 'ticket' without blushing.

"I uhm… Believe it or not but I can't get along with all people and right now I'm not in good terms with the person selling the tickets so… I really need to win them."

So Harry told Malfoy that. It was the truth.  
Besides Harry thought it was alright even if he felt embarrassed about it because Malfoy must be embarrassed right now too. Malfoy had no money since the Ministry had seized it, and Harry knew this. Harry was absolutely certain Malfoy would never get any good seats in Quidditch unless he won them or someone else bought them for him.

That was why Harry was here asking him to do the assignment.  
If Harry was completely honest with himself, he felt a tiny bit of pity for Malfoy. The boy had lost his parents during the summer (Harry knew Lucius Malfoy had been murdered in Azkaban but he didn't have any idea how Narcissa had died so he believed the rumours, which said she'd killed herself the day after her husband's death), so basically they were both standing on the same line if they were to insult each other's families ever again.  
Harry felt sure they wouldn't.  
Harry had hated Lucius Malfoy but would not start tormenting Malfoy by saying nasty things about his deceased father.

Malfoy considered this. He muttered, "I need to think about it."

Before Harry had time to answer there was suddenly a shadow behind Malfoy and even before Harry realised what was happening, he had fallen on his back and something sharp hit his mouth. It was Malfoy's mouth. Just as the realisation came to Harry, the Slytherin was already up and running the corridor, shouting,  
"Blaise, I swear I'll kill you!"

Harry sat up and put his hand on his mouth, his lower lip was bleeding and it was getting swollen.  
So what had just happened? Blaise had pushed Malfoy, who of course had fallen against Harry, who had fallen on his back and… and Malfoy's mouth had crashed with his…  
Harry sat there stupefied by the thought.  
Their mouths had touched.  
Malfoy's teeth had broken Harry's lower lip. Harry sucked his lip and swallowed the saliva which tasted like blood.

He got up and still blinked in confusion before finally forcing himself to go to the next class.

_Shit,_ he realised as soon as he stepped in the class room, _Malfoy was there._

Malfoy was blushing with rage and staring angrily at the open book on his desk. Zabini was sitting next to him and clearly trying to apologise in vain. The last thing Harry saw before forcing his eyes off of the blushing Slytherin, he noticed Malfoy's lower lip was swollen and bleeding too.

It had really happened. It felt almost like they'd kissed although they hadn't.

Harry sat on an empty seat, behind Ron and Hermione and started taking notes although he barely heard the teacher's voice. He was caught up in his thoughts, wondering whether Malfoy could survive the humiliation of it all or whether Harry's plan to coax Malfoy into doing the potions work with him was already ruined.

Later on he found the necessary amount of concentration to keep up with the topic of Tracing Charms. How to track a lost person based on their magical signature. It would be useful. Harry learned the new charms easily and could find Hermione's quill from where it was hidden before the class ended.

The rest of the day went normally. Malfoy didn't approach Harry so Harry thought he should wait maybe a day and let the situation calm down a bit before going up to Malfoy to ask what he thought about Harry's offer.

When Harry tried to sleep at night, it was impossible.  
His lower lip was still sore and he had kept sucking it throughout the day.  
He had stared himself in the mirror, tilting his head, trying to see if there were any clear marks from Malfoy's teeth. He felt disappointed when he couldn't see any clear print made by a tooth, there was only a scrape which he kept biting and sucking until it was bleeding again.

He couldn't sleep. He wished he could go back to the moment and watch it in slow motion. It had happened too fast; a shadow and because Harry was watching the shadow he didn't even really see Malfoy collapsing on him, he hadn't seen the look on Malfoy's face and that bothered him.  
It could've ended badly. If Malfoy had been standing closer to Harry, he might've crashed so that Harry's glasses went broken and they could've both been injured by the broken glass.  
The glasses were a dangerous object when it came to fighting.  
Too bad he was so used to them he couldn't even think of fixing his eyesight permanently.

All the students their age knew the simplest healing charms and throughout the day both Hermione and Ron had suggested they could heal Harry's lip but he'd said no. He'd said it went nicely with his lightning scar, gave him an edgy look and all that.

He wished the cut was deeper and bigger, so it would scar. It would've looked nice, a neat white stripe on his lower lip, given to him by his former nemesis.

Why was he thinking this and not sleeping?

He should get up and do something until he really felt tired.

He got up and took the invisibility cloak with him but didn't bother putting it on. He walked the empty corridors and was happy about the lights the castle had at nights, they hadn't been there before the restoration of Hogwarts last summer.

They were really great for those who wanted to sneak around at nights. Harry smiled. He was quite content with his life for a moment. The war was over; Hermione and Ron were alive, amongst many other people. Harry was gay and his closest friends knew about it and no-one had so far been mean about it.  
Ginny had taken everything surprisingly well too; she'd said she'd figured so much a while ago.  
Everything was quite good, even with Malfoy now they weren't fighting anymore.

He walked down the stairs and suddenly stopped.  
He had just been thinking about Malfoy and there he was, sitting on the window ledge on the third floor from which Harry was only a few steps away.  
It was like Malfoy had heard him, maybe he had, and turned to look at the stairs, meeting Harry's gaze.

Harry should've put the cloak on and he hadn't!  
Now he simply stood in place and stared, as Malfoy's expression reflected surprise before taking the usual coolness.

For some reason Harry had no idea how he should react. Should he say 'hi'? Should he turn around and walk away? Should he descend the last steps and walk past the boy to get to the next staircase?

Suddenly it was really difficult to remember how things were between them.

What were they to each other? Not friends, but former enemies – what does that mean?  
He took one step down and stood still, trying to read Malfoy's expression but didn't receive any real answer.  
He took another step, then another, finally forcing his feet to take the remaining steps to reach the third floor. Then he stood there, at the bottom of the staircase, now even more unsure what he should do next.

He wasn't sure it was an option but he went to Malfoy who visibly tensed and almost reached for his wand so Harry stopped right there.

He swallowed and then said, it was a faint whisper although he hadn't meant it to come out so,  
"Hi."

Malfoy's eyes were dark grey in the dim night light and the Slytherin bit his lip before saying the same word back, it wasn't more than a whisper either, "Hi."

Then Malfoy looked out of the window and for some reason Harry took it as a relaxed sign which allowed him to take a couple of steps closer. He ended up quite near to Malfoy and looked out of the window too.  
It was raining so heavily it was hard to make out the shape of the lake; the drops were loud against the glass. He hadn't noticed it was so windy and almost stormy tonight.

He could see the reflection of Malfoy's face from the glass and realised Malfoy was actually looking at him, meeting his gaze in the reflection. Harry turned his head away and blushed. _Shit._

He bit his lip angrily, making it bleed again, then looked at Malfoy's profile (avoiding his gaze in the reflection) and said, "Have you had time to think about what I asked?"

Malfoy sighed and muttered, "I have thought about it, yes."

Harry swallowed and forced himself to look in the window and Malfoy's reflection there but the blond Slytherin wasn't looking at him, he was watching the rain.

"So… have you decided?" Harry asked.

Malfoy turned his head suddenly and looked Harry in the eyes, "No."

Harry blinked and looked back, "You're saying no?"

Malfoy glanced at Harry's mouth for a second and automatically Harry bit his bruised lip.  
Malfoy said looking back in Harry's eyes,  
"No, I haven't decided yet."

"Oh," Harry muttered and his eyes suddenly went to Malfoy's lower lip, where there was a bruise too.

The realisation hit Harry so strongly he thought his heart might've just missed a beat; they had something in common.  
They had each other's teeth marks on their lips, and neither of them had healed them yet.  
They did have something else in common too; neither of them had parents.

It was… it was weird. It felt almost like they were suddenly strangers to each other.

"Why do you want to pair up with me?" Malfoy asked.

Harry looked him in the eyes and tried to overcome the new unfamiliar feeling regarding Malfoy,

"You're the best one in potions I know of and I want the tickets. Also I'm sure you want the tickets too. Why? Do I need any more reasons?"

Malfoy shook his head a little and said, "But you know I can't afford to buy them. Do you pity me?"

Harry frowned and his voice came out louder than he meant to, "Merlin, no! I know you can't afford them and that's why I thought you might be interested in winning them but I do not, let me make this clear for you, I do not pity you."

Malfoy simply looked at him and didn't say anything so Harry was silent after his outburst.

The silence started to wrap its tentacles around them and soon it was so thick Harry couldn't speak.

So they just looked at each other until finally Malfoy turned his head and stared at the rain.

Then as an afterthought Harry thought about Malfoy's family which no longer existed,

"I'm sorry about your parents."

Malfoy snorted, it didn't come as a surprise to Harry. The Slytherin muttered,  
"You don't have to pretend to me, Potter. I don't need to hear empty words coming from you. I know you hated them so stop mocking my grief."

Harry went silent before saying, "I'm not mocking anything. I didn't like your father but I don't want anyone to lose their parents nevertheless, so I am sorry."

Malfoy looked at him, narrowed his eyes and drawled, "Well don't be! You don't even know what you're talking about!"

Harry was suddenly very angry and he gritted his teeth. He didn't say anything but turned around and left. He was walking up the staircase fuming inside when Malfoy called after him,

"I'll accept your offer. I'll work as your pair."

Harry stopped but didn't turn around to look at the Slytherin.

Malfoy said, "I think we might win if we don't kill each other."

Harry turned his head a bit, just to make his voice carry but not enough to look at the Slytherin,

"Do you know where the new Room of Requirement is?"

Malfoy answered, "No."

Harry had to concentrate to keep his voice calm, "We'll probably get the instructions for the potion tomorrow so I suggest we meet here in the evening and start with the planning. Would at midnight be too late for you?"

Malfoy's voice sounded almost too casual, "Midnight is fine."

"Alright," Harry muttered and walked up the stairs.

He went all the way up to Gryffindor tower and into the small room he shared with Ron. They hadn't gotten to choose their roommates this year but it didn't matter since Harry's and Ron's names had been in this room's door.  
Harry went to bed and Ron muttered, "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. Goodnight, Ron."

He bit his lip until it started bleeding again and swallowed some of the blood, along with his frustration towards Malfoy, before drifting into sleep.


	3. Starting with the Potions assignment

**Chapter 3 **_**Starting with the Potions assignment**_

They had been given the assignment already during their first class this morning and everyone had been a little surprised when Slughorn had asked, which of the students already had a partner and Harry had raised his hand and said,  
"I'm working with Draco Malfoy."

The rest of the day went easily. Harry was only a little nervous in the evening when he was walking down the stairs to meet Malfoy in the third floor.

Malfoy was already there, he had his school bag on his left shoulder, just like Harry had his.

"Let's go," Harry said to him already from halfway up the stairs and turned around to go back up to fourth floor. He glanced over his shoulder, Malfoy was following him slowly so Harry waited for him on the top of the stairs.

"Are we going to the new Room of Requirement?" Malfoy asked him as soon as he caught up with Harry.

"Yeah," Harry answered and they walked silently along the corridor until they reached a new part of the wall on their left side.

"It's not as effective as the former one but I believe it will give us at least a room where we can work and hopefully it will give us all the necessary equipment for the potion too."

Malfoy nodded and Harry started to pace back and forth in front of the wall; _we need a place where we can work with our potions assignment…_

The door appeared soon. Harry looked at Malfoy, who looked back and raised his left eyebrow a little. It occurred to Harry Malfoy was excited about this. It was visible in the faint glimmer Malfoy's eyes held, they were very dark grey now because of the dim lighting on the corridor.

Harry put his hand on the door handle and pushed, he had no idea what to expect to find in the room.

The door opened but the room inside was completely dark so Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it inside the room, "_Lumos_".

"That's useless, let me," Malfoy muttered and pushed past Harry in the darkness, Harry heard him mutter something just as the whole room seemed to burst into light.  
Harry's eyebrows shot up as he followed Malfoy in the room. It had everything they needed, it seemed.  
There was a large window and it was raining outside again. In front of the window there was a working table big enough for both of them, with only two chairs.

There were counters on every side of the room filled with all sorts of cauldrons, vials, scales, books, parchment, quills and a lot of empty bottles.

"This will do," Malfoy declared and marched to the working table, threw his bag on it and began pulling quills and parchment out of his bag.

Harry looked at the ceiling and muttered, "What is that light?"

Malfoy looked at Harry like he had asked something stupid, "A sun. Don't you know what a sun is?"

Harry walked to the working table, sat down opposite Malfoy and frowned at the Slytherin, "I haven't seen a wizard pull out an artificial sun from their wand before."

Malfoy shrugged, now his eyes looked bright grey in the bright light of the room. Harry was vaguely reminded of a delicate mist in a field on an early morning but threw the thought out of his head deciding it didn't matter what colour Malfoy's eyes were.

After they had been looking at each other for a couple of minutes Harry bit his lip and asked,

"Do you want to be our team leader?"

Malfoy blinked, "A team leader? What does that include?"

"Well… I thought you're a lot better in potions than I am so I thought you might want to plan what we are supposed to do and… if you want to boss me around, just tell me what I need to do."

Harry said and leaned further back in his chair, trying to find the most comfortable position.

"Alright," Malfoy muttered and then pushed a parchment over the table so Harry could read it, he continued, "I actually took the liberty of planning already."

Harry nodded and looked at the parchment, "Okay, good. Where do we start?"

Harry looked up from the parchment and realised Malfoy's eyes were glimmering with enthusiasm,

"I divided our potion making in different parts. First part of course is getting the ingredients. Some of them we can steal from Slughorn's room and the rest we have to go and search from the grounds of Hogwarts but I think I already know where some of them might be located. We have three weeks to work with the potion. I figured we could do it faster than that. If we focus on getting the ingredients during this week, we can start with the potion next Monday. The only problem is if we get it done in less than two weeks, how do we preserve it so it won't go bad?"

Harry blinked, he had only taken a quick look at their assignment but hadn't even really thought about it yet. He was surprised Malfoy was so keen on doing the assignment, and also that the Slytherin had already put so much time on it. It was almost unfair Harry hadn't done a thing yet. So he said so,

"I uhm… I hadn't even looked at the assignment yet. I think all you said sounds really good. Since I'm quite… not so good, just tell me what I should do and I'll do it but I think… I think I might owe you one after we've made this."

Malfoy nodded, "It might go to that, yes. Although this isn't an easy potion to make and that's why I thought we could try to make it during the first two weeks so we still have an extra week if we screw it up."

Harry nodded and tried to smile a little, it came out very hesitant, "Yes. Good. I can volunteer to try and find out a preservation spell."

Malfoy answered, "Oh, well… that's fine but you have to remember to select one with delicate magic, do you know what that means?"

Harry shook his head and Malfoy said, "Usually you shouldn't use magic when you're doing potions and that includes all the stages of the potion making so you need to find a preservation charm that's designed for potions, so that it's delicate enough not to ruin it. If you do find a good spell, I want you to take the whole book with you and show it to me so I can check it's okay."

Harry nodded and felt like an idiot. It seemed like he'd forgotten even the tiniest bits of information relating to potions making during the time he hadn't been in Hogwarts.  
It felt weird Malfoy wasn't commentating on it. actually he wasn't mocking Harry about anything.

Harry sighed, "Alright. What else do I need to know?"

"You need to know a lot but I don't expect you to remember everything so I think it's best if we take one day at a time."

Harry smiled at him, why was Malfoy making everything this easy for him?

"Sounds great," Harry said, Malfoy looked down on the parchment in front of him, like he didn't know how to react to Harry's smile.

The Slytherin muttered, "I hope we can get the ingredients as fast as possible so I suggest we work with this task every evening this week. How does that sound?"

"That sounds… great, too." Harry said, still smiling.  
By far he had never had this easy with any potion before. He couldn't have chosen a better partner for the work.

Malfoy muttered, "You said the other day you thought people might think we won't be able to work together and it might give us an advantage. How would you feel about working out of their sight? Like if we pretend we're not actually putting any effort on this and meet only on the evenings so they have no clue about what we're doing?"

Harry thought about it before saying anything. He didn't know why Malfoy would want it go like that so he asked,

"I think we could do that although you just made me curious. If you and I manage to get along, why don't you want anyone to know about it? Are you ashamed of working with me?"

Malfoy looked at him, "I'm not sure if we can manage to work together so I thought it might be easier for you to drop out if people hadn't seen us even trying."

Harry fell silent. He couldn't think of anything to say. This was the first thing Malfoy said today which felt like an insult, and it stung.

"Oh," He finally muttered, then added, "I honestly thought this might go pretty well. We're doing fine right now. Don't you think so?"

Malfoy shrugged.

Harry said, "Well… I'm sorry if you think so. I'll do the best I can to make this go as easily as possible. And I do owe you one if we survive with this."

Malfoy didn't say anything so they sat in silence; Harry stared at the parchment Malfoy had written to him. It described all the different parts of the process carefully; some of the sentences were so simple Harry thought Malfoy might think Harry was an idiot. It made him smile a little bit.

It also made Harry ask, "Honestly, do you feel so bad about this? What am I doing wrong so far?"

Malfoy shrugged again and didn't answer. Harry looked at the Slytherin's face, who was biting his lower lip in concentration as he was reading a potions book. As the teeth released the bruised lip, Harry could see the small scratch where his teeth had scraped the skin.

"Do you want me to heal that for you?" Harry asked and Malfoy looked up from the parchment, asking,

"What?"

Harry swallowed, feeling embarrassed, "Your lip. I could heal it for you."

Malfoy stared at him like he'd just seen a ghost, "No."

Harry stared at the boy's expression and didn't know where that reaction came from, "Why not?"

Malfoy frowned, "I don't like people doing spells on me. It'll heal on its own. It's just a scratch, don't worry about it."

"Okay," Harry muttered but kept shifting his eyes between Malfoy's lip and his grey eyes which were dark grey in some sort of irritation.

Malfoy said, "It's really late, I think we should call it a night. Shall we meet in front of this room from now on?"

Harry folded the parchment Malfoy had written him and put it in his bag, "Yeah, we could meet every evening the same time, would eleven be alright?"

Malfoy asked, "Why not ten?"

Harry shrugged, "I think there might be quite a few people using this room as a snogging place and they usually come here in the evenings so I thought the later the better."

Malfoy's eyes glittered in amusement, "Oh. So you're here snogging at ten and then you have to get out before eleven to show up again looking all innocent?"

Harry blinked, he was too confused to answer right away but then he said, "I'm not snogging with anyone."

He almost felt like saying he was gay just to shut Malfoy up but didn't want the whole school to know about it just yet. Harry was pretty certain Malfoy was gay too, he'd heard rumours so many times it couldn't be just talking without some fact on it too.

Malfoy rolled his eyes and stood up, threw his bag on his shoulder and said, "Well, I'll meet you here tomorrow then."

"Wait," Harry said and stood up too, "I'll come with you."

They exited the room and departed their ways on the top of the staircase from which Malfoy would go down and Harry would head for the next staircase up.

"Good night, Malfoy," Harry said when he was about to turn around and leave the boy. Malfoy said,

"Don't get all emotional on me, Potter. Just because I've let you slack off by far doesn't mean I'm going to let it happen every night."

Harry raised his eyebrows; Malfoy smirked and left down the stairs. When he was about half way down, Harry shouted after him; "I'm not getting emotional!"

He wasn't sure but he though he heard Malfoy snort.

He clenched his jaw and started climbing to Gryffindor tower. He still thought the evening had went easily, even more so than he could've imagined.

He fell asleep immediately.


	4. The White Sunflower Weed

Chapter 4 _**The White Sunflower Weed**_

"Do you think we'll both fit underneath it?" Malfoy asked with a disbelieving voice.

"Well, we'd better try. Right? Come on," Harry encouraged the Slytherin and raised the hem of the cloak further up.

Malfoy took a step, then another, and suddenly he took the remaining steps with so much force, he bumped right into Harry and grabbed a hold of Harry's shirt to keep his balance. Harry let his raised arm drop and they were under the invisibility cloak. Malfoy still didn't let go of Harry's shirt but was looking at their feet saying, "Are you sure our feet aren't visible?"

Harry shrugged, "I don't really know, I think they might be visible but I don't think they're that noticeable. I mean I think we can manage to bend down a bit if we see anyone. That should do it."

This was a bad idea, Harry thought. He was staring right into Malfoy's neck and the skin smelled wonderful.

Harry had never noticed Malfoy wearing any scents before but now that he thought about it, he did know what Malfoy usually smelled like, and this scent was something new.  
He blushed. Why was he breathing in like that, why was he trying to analyse it all?  
This wasn't healthy. Why was Malfoy still grabbing his shirt?

It hit him right then. The feeling of desire.  
Malfoy's body was too close and too warm to ignore.  
Malfoy moved his head a bit, just enough to look into Harry's eyes and Harry tensed.  
_Shit, he'll see what I'm thinking. _  
Harry grabbed Malfoy's hands, pushed them away from his shirt and said, "My shoelaces"  
Having said that he crouched down and started to tie his shoelace which wasn't even open. Then he started doing the other one, hoping furiously he wouldn't get hard now.

He was mad at himself. This would the first and last time ever with Malfoy underneath any cloak!  
He was not going to get hard because of Draco fucking Malfoy.  
No, it didn't matter how gay they both were.

"Potter?" Malfoy's voice was questioning and Harry made the mistake of looking up. Dear Merlin! Malfoy looked gorgeous.  
For some reason Malfoy was wearing muggle looking jeans and they craved for Harry's attention, he found himself staring at Malfoy's crotch area, trying to see a bulge.  
_Fuck, what the hell am I doing?  
_  
"If you think this is too inconvenient, I'm sure I can find the ingredients by myself if you're willing to let me borrow your cloak." Malfoy said and that brought Harry back to reality.  
He took a hold of Malfoy's knees to use them as a support to stand up and then he was too near to Malfoy's face and said,  
"Yeah, I think it would be...good. I could wait for you upstairs."

Malfoy nodded and smirked a little at Harry's expression. Harry pushed through the cloak and left quickly.

He marched up the stairs into the fourth floor and waited for Malfoy in front of the Room of Requirement.

_What's happening to me? I know I'm gay but that gives me no right to think he's hot.  
No, it's not right._  
He felt cold. God, he wished he was back underneath the cloak. Why did it have to be Malfoy? Why couldn't it be some other wizard, anyone else except Malfoy.  
Although… any other wizard wasn't as good looking as Malfoy but still.  
He crossed his arms over his chest, he felt like his body was missing the warmth of the other body.  
_This is ridiculous._

Half an hour later he was sitting on the floor, still trying to push the thoughts away, when he felt a faint breeze on his face. He looked up but didn't see anyone.

"Take the cloak off," Harry muttered to the empty corridor.

"Can you see me?" Malfoy's voice asked somewhere above his head so he looked up and said,

"No, of course not. Now take it off." He was irritated with himself. In fact he might just hate himself a little bit. He had never thought he might get this confused about his feelings for Malfoy. Yes, he did have feelings before too but they had nothing to do with getting all hot and bothered!

"I like to be invisible," Malfoy muttered, the voice was now coming from somewhere straight ahead.

"I'm sure you do, now give it back." Harry said and stood up.

"Why are you suddenly so mad at me?" Malfoy's voice asked behind him and Harry lashed out blindly, his hand caught the fabric and he pulled it. Finally there was a blond Slytherin with a mischievous smile right next to him, he turned to face Malfoy and said,

"Look, we are here to make the potion and not play around, you hear me?" He knew he was glaring.

Malfoy's expression changed in seconds, from amusement into freezing coldness and he snapped, "Fine!"

Then Malfoy suddenly turned around and started walking away with angry steps, Harry shouted after him,

"Did you get the ingredients?"

Malfoy was already in the end of the corridor when he turned around and shouted,  
"Fuck you, Potter!" Then he stormed away, leaving Harry stand there angry and confused.

_This was a really bad idea, all of it, a big mistake._

*****

By the next evening Harry had pulled his nerves back together and he was waiting for Malfoy in front of the Room of Requirement at eleven. He made a tempus charm, Malfoy was ten minutes late already.

_He's not coming. He's realised this won't work. I need to go and apologise to him. I can never get the potion done without him, it's far too complicated and it's too late to find another pair since everyone else has a pair already._

He decided to wait for ten more minutes and then he'd go and find out if he could get inside the Slytherin common room.

After five minutes Malfoy appeared in the end of the corridor, Harry stared at him and waited for the boy to approach. It looked like Malfoy was hesitating; he simply stood there for a moment before finally walking up to Harry. He didn't even glance at Harry, but started pacing back and forth to get the Room to show up.

Once it did and they were inside, Harry said, "Look, I'm… I wasn't angry at you. I just… I had something on my mind and took it out on you so…"

Malfoy placed the ingredients he'd stolen the previous day on one of the side tables and didn't turn to look at Harry, who said, "I'm sorry."

"Potter, shut up," Malfoy muttered.

Harry did shut up, bit his bruised lip which never got to heal, until it started to bleed, and simply waited until Malfoy turned to look at him,

"I suggest you don't talk to me at all unless you absolutely have to. And I won't talk to you unless it's absolutely necessary. I found most of the ingredients yesterday. This morning before breakfast I went out and searched for some more. We're one ingredient away from having all of them. I suggest we do our best to get the last ingredient this evening, without fighting, I mean. After that I suggest I make the rest of the potion by myself. If you can look for the preservation charm and bring it to me when you find it, it will be enough for your co-operation on this. Then you'll owe me big time but that might just be the only way we can get the potion done."

Harry swallowed and stared into the stormy grey eyes. The way Malfoy looked at him made him feel like he'd done something bad. He clenched his teeth and looked down; he was fidgeting with his fingers and muttered, "Alright."

Malfoy sighed. The irritation in his tone was gone when he talked again, "I could've gone to get the last ingredient by myself but it requires two persons as the other one has to keep guard."

Harry looked up, "Keep guard?"

"Yes. It's the white sunflower weed. It grows in the lake about a knee deep, we can reach it by hand so we don't have to get in the water but the merpeople like those weeds and usually attack the minute someone tries to pluck them so you can keep your wand ready while I grab some."

They stared at each other for a moment before Harry said, "Right. Let's go."

They walked in silence and left the castle. It was rainy and Harry was only wearing his usual school robes, which were damp by the time they reached the lake and he was shivering.

"You sure you want to put your arm in there?" Harry asked over the rain and wind. Malfoy had been clever enough to dress properly and was pulling his collar up, rain made his wet blond hair stuck on his forehead,

"Of course I don't! Just make sure you hit them with a spell if they get anywhere near me!"

The Slytherin was already pulling up his sleeve and getting on his knees, whining something about his cloak getting ruined. Harry took a position behind him, ready to cast a spell should any creature try to grab Malfoy's arm.

Unfortunately Malfoy was wearing some elegant robe which was damp now and it hugged Malfoy's ass nicely and Harry had to take a look, he couldn't help himself, not while Malfoy was already elbow deep in the water, his ass directed to Harry.

Right at that moment Malfoy yelped and Harry reacted with lightning speed.  
He grabbed Malfoy under his armpit and pulled until he saw a grey hand holding Malfoy's arm, "_Stupefy_!"

The mermaid (or whatever it was) let go and Malfoy's whole body weight collapsed against Harry's standing feet. The sudden push almost made Harry lose his balance so he grabbed Malfoy's head when he couldn't reach anything else as fast. It didn't help, he fell nevertheless on his bottom and pulled Malfoy with him. Malfoy was shouting furiously and lashing out with his hands to get free from Harry.

Harry let go and Malfoy turned around and climbed on top of him, pushing him on his back on the ground, shouting, "You idiot! I told you to keep guard! I could be right there in the bottom of the lake right now if you'd been any slower, you useless - !"

Automatically Harry put his hands on Malfoy's chest and pushed him violently, he sat up and kept pushing until he managed to get the boy on his back and now climbed on top of the Slytherin, shouting too, "I did keep guard and I did react as fast as I could, you git! You're not on the lake so what the hell are you going on about?"

Malfoy was growling but he wasn't fighting back, which surprised Harry and he let his grip on the Slytherin's chest lose and looked around.  
Here they were. On the muddy, wet grass, near the edge of the lake and it was the middle of the night.  
It was dark, windy and rainy and he was shivering. He looked at Malfoy who lay sprawled underneath him, arms wide like he was about to do a snow angel and his right arm was bare and wet, there were white weeds in his clenched fist.

"Want to fight?" Malfoy asked and Harry looked him in the eyes. Harry was glad he had remembered to make the spell which made his glasses stay dry.  
"What? No!" Harry said and looked at Malfoy's lips; his lower lip was still unhealed.

"Then get off before I punch you!" Malfoy growled and Harry did get up, he even offered his hand to Malfoy, who actually took it and pulled himself up too.

Neither of them said anything so they walked all the way back in silence. They went to the Room of Requirement just to leave the weeds there before they left. Harry's teeth were chattering.

"Want me to do a warming charm on you?" Malfoy asked. Harry looked him in the eyes,

"I'll be fine, I'll just take a shower when I get back to my room."

"You'll wake up your roommate," Malfoy said and Harry nodded, "Yeah but I share my room with Ron so it's okay, he won't mind waking up."

Malfoy looked grave. Harry said, "I could do a cleaning spell on your robes…"

Malfoy shook his head, "No spells on me, Potter."

Harry bit his lip as an uninvited flashback from sixth year crossed his mind. He had almost killed Malfoy that day.  
The memory made him say, "I'm sorry I wasn't faster back there."

Malfoy simply shrugged and muttered, "I'm tired."

They left the room and as they departed on the top of the stairs Harry said,  
"Look… I know it's not easy to… work with me. I'd like to help making the potion so I'll come and meet you here every evening in case there's anything you want me to do."

Malfoy looked at him silently for a moment, Harry's teeth were still chattering. Malfoy sighed before saying,  
"You really don't have to. It's easier for me to work when you're not around making a mess. Just find the preservation charm and bring it to me."

Harry muttered with a quiet voice, "Alright, I'll do that."

They looked at each other for a moment, it seemed to become a habit, but it didn't really make a difference to what they had been like before they started to work together.  
Only they never talked before. Now they did talk and stare as well. It was alright, Harry thought.  
He didn't know how they were supposed to communicate when he still hadn't really found out what they were to each other.  
How does one work with someone they used to hate but didn't hate anymore?  
How does one work with someone you almost killed by an accident?  
How do you work with someone who doesn't know you're gay and whom you've just started to see as beautiful, hot and not that insufferable at all?  
That last thought made Harry look at Malfoy's bruised lower lip again. It looked nice; it looked like it wanted Harry to bite it until it started bleeding.

"Sweet dreams, Potter," Malfoy muttered and turned to leave.  
Harry answered, "You too. See you tomorrow."

He watched Malfoy walk down the stairs and sighed. He stood there even as Malfoy reached the bottom of the stairs and started walking towards the next staircase.  
Malfoy turned his head and glanced over his shoulder to see Harry still standing there but didn't yell anything and didn't stop, simply walked away.  
Harry stood there a moment after. He was cold and he felt suddenly lonely.  
He felt hurt by the fact Malfoy thought their co-operation was so pathetic Harry wasn't allowed to take part in the potion making. He had thought everything went surprisingly well.  
In fact he almost liked being with Malfoy.  
It was so different from what other people were like, this was more interesting and far more intense; you never knew what was going to happen next.  
It was exciting in its own special way.

After he got back to his room, he took a warm shower before going to bed. He thought about Malfoy's lower lip when he fell asleep.


	5. Humiliation begins

**Zinnia says**: I'm currently writing chapter 14, it's going to be a bumpy ride guys!  
I've enjoyed all the feedback I've gotten so far, please do keep sending me more of it so I'll know what you're thinking about this story – it also helps me a lot when I write the next story after this one.

**Chapter 5 **_**Humiliation begins**_

The next morning when Harry was putting on his clothes to go to breakfast he noticed Ron's book open on the desk. He couldn't help but notice the large title, which said something about preserving things and soon Harry had read the whole chapter. This was perfect, he thought, the perfect preservation charm.

"Can I borrow this?" Harry asked Ron the minute the boy got out of the shower.

"Sure, I don't need it anymore," Ron smiled like he knew why Harry needed the charm. Harry was even more pleased now, it seemed like Ron and Zabini were using the same charm so it would fit his purposes too.

That evening he took the book to Malfoy, who looked pleased enough.

Everything went fine the rest of the week. On Friday night Harry was getting to bed. He'd seen Malfoy at the door of the Room of Requirement every night until now but Malfoy had only needed him yesterday when they'd done the preservation charm.  
Their work together was done.  
Harry hadn't really done anything, Malfoy had done it all.  
Harry would owe him one, just like it had been clear right from the beginning.  
Harry was for once going to bed before midnight feeling almost a bit sad he had no reason whatsoever to spend any more time with Malfoy. It hadn't been easy but he'd liked it anyway.  
It had been intense. He learned he liked intense things.

"Shit, Harry!" Ron suddenly said from his bed.

"What?" Harry asked.

"I just found a page of that charms book here, under my blanket. It must've come loose. Shit. This is the page where it says you're supposed to replace the charm every 24 hours so the potion will stay good. Bloody hell, Harry, when did you guys do the charm?"

"What?" Harry jumped up from his bed and grabbed his wand and ran to his trunk. He pulled out the Marauder's map and tapped his wand on the parchment.

When the corridors and dots appeared, he quickly found the dot with Malfoy's name on it. He was probably sleeping, in Slytherins' new small rooms for 8th years. He was apparently roommates with Zabini.  
Harry hastily pulled his invisibility cloak over him and ran out of the room.

He ran all the way down to Slytherin dungeon and was breathless by the time he had to start thinking about the possible password.

_Oh no_, he groaned, _I knew everything was too easy!  
_  
He started guessing all possible stupid words, muttering them to the stone wall. From the dot named after Malfoy on the map he was certain the Slytherin common room was still located behind this specific wall.

"Pure blood? Dark mark?" He said, then frowned, "No? Well… Voldemort? Salazar? Dark Lord? Snape?"

He sighed. What the hell could be the password to the Slytherin? He had no idea.

Suddenly the wall opened and he jumped back a little. Zabini came out and Harry could see the passage behind him, if only he could get in somehow past Zabini…

"Did the password already change?" Zabini asked, he kept his left foot inside the passage, to keep the wall open while he was inquiring.

"Yes," The wall answered.

"But why does it say two different words on the notice board? Should I say one of them or both?" Zabini asked.

"Both," The wall answered.

Harry was holding his breath underneath the invisibility cloak, wondering whether he could simply push Zabini out of the way and run inside the Slytherin common room…

"Half-blood mudblood sounds pretty stupid, don't you think? Couldn't you do with the first one?" Zabini asked the wall and Harry began to grin underneath the cloak, _this was too easy after all_...

The wall didn't answer. Zabini stepped completely out of the passage way and walked right past Harry before heading for the stairs.

Harry said to the wall, "Half-blood mudblood"

The wall opened to show a passage and Harry entered. He felt the nostalgia of it.

He had to look around for a while to locate the eight year students' rooms. Luckily they had same type of signs on their doors which informed who was in which room. 'Malfoy, Zabini' it said in one of the doors and he slowly put his hand on the door handle; then pushed the door open.

The room was dark. There was only one window and it looked like they were under the lake because the light coming from the window was dark blue. Malfoy was probably sleeping.

There were only two four poster beds and the other was visibly empty whereas the other one had the curtains closed. Harry's heart was pounding in his ear drums as he slowly took steps closer.

He hadn't had time to plan what he should say to Malfoy, especially if the boy was fast asleep.

He gulped and reached his hand to pull the curtain open. He peeked in. Malfoy was asleep.  
He didn't know whether it was good or bad but he opened the curtain a little more.  
Malfoy looked peaceful and Harry hated himself for having to wake the boy up.  
He sat on the edge of the bed but before he had time to do anything, there were steps behind the door of the room. Harry pulled his legs up and closed the curtain.

Great. Now he was sitting in Malfoy's bed and since he couldn't hear any sounds outside the bed he didn't know if Malfoy had planted silencing charms around his bed. Possibly he had, Harry thought.

"Malfoy," He whispered. The slow, deep breathing didn't change.

Harry pulled the cloak off, not really knowing what he should do. He was in a hurry because he couldn't remember the exact time they had first made the preservation charm. It could be too late already.

"Malfoy," He whispered again but the boy still didn't stir.

Harry bit his lower lip, thinking. Then he came to a hesitant decision.  
He leaned closer to Malfoy and slowly placed his hand over Malfoy's mouth.  
As soon as his fingers came in contact with the lips, Malfoy's eyes flew open and he tried to shout exactly the same moment Harry said,  
"Shh, it's me. Shh…"

Malfoy's hands wrapped around Harry's wrist and his eyes were filled with panic and he was trying to say something. Harry said,  
"Shh, be quiet. I'm not going to hurt you, I have something important to tell you. Alright?"

Malfoy frowned and slowly relented until his fingers weren't trying to peel Harry's skin off on his wrists.

Harry didn't take his hand away from Malfoy's lips because he knew the Slytherin would start asking a lot of questions they didn't have time for.

Harry whispered, "Do you have a silencing charm around your bed?"

Malfoy nodded under his hand, his eyes were glaring. Harry told him,  
"I'd take my hand away but you'd just start asking questions. We don't have time for that.  
We have to go immediately to make the preservation charm again. I'll answer your questions when we get there, okay?"

Malfoy nodded, Harry really didn't want to take his hand away. Malfoy was much better like this; all quiet and not fighting. Harry said with a soft voice,  
"I'll take my hand off, don't start to shout, okay? We really need to go to make the charm right now."

Malfoy closed his eyes for a moment and nodded. Harry reluctantly pulled his hand off and Malfoy didn't start to shout. He didn't say anything, in fact, simply opened the curtain enough to see what Zabini was doing. Apparently he had went to sleep, while Harry had been in Malfoy's bed because now Malfoy pulled the curtains open and there were closed curtains around the other four poster bed in the room.

Malfoy picked up his wand from his bedside table, opened a closet and pulled out a black robe, put it on and left the room. Harry put the invisibility cloak on and followed him hastily.

Once they had reached the fourth floor, Harry finally pulled off the cloak.  
Malfoy was there in a second and pushed Harry hard against the nearest wall,  
"What the fuck were you thinking, Potter?"

Harry's eyebrows shot up and he realised he couldn't even move, the boy was pinning him against the wall with such force. Malfoy was very angry, his grey eyes were piercing sharp.

"We have to make the charm again otherwise –" Harry couldn't finish his sentence because Malfoy's hand was now covering his mouth painfully hard, the Slytherin was shouting,

"I don't care! I don't care whatever you have to say! There's nothing so important in the whole world which would give you, Potter, the right to come to me while I'm sleeping!"

Harry frowned and tried to shout through the hand on his mouth.

Malfoy didn't stop with the shouting, "Honestly, Potter, haven't you made me suffer enough already? Huh? Why do you have to deliberately humiliate me?"

Harry had no idea what Malfoy was talking about now, so he frowned and tried to shake his head.  
Malfoy glared at him for a long time and Harry made a frustrated whimper underneath the tough hand.  
Harry's right arm was underneath Malfoy's forcing hand against the wall and Harry's left hand was on Malfoy's chest but he knew it was useless to fight.  
Malfoy's knee was too close to his crotch, it could only mean he'd get a kick if he tried to struggle.

He gave up and closed his eyes and took a deep breath, made a small pleading sound in the back of his throat. It did it, Malfoy let go and stepped back, and Harry almost stumbled away from the wall.

He croaked, "You don't understand! I haven't meant to embarrass you in any way! I swear! I have no idea what you're talking about! If we don't make the charm again, then we have to make the potion again from the start!"

Malfoy was furiously pacing back and forth until the door came visible and Harry entered the room first since he was already standing in front of the door.

Malfoy went straight to one of the cupboards, opened it and pulled out one of the potion bottles inside it; he cast the preservation charm, just like the day before.

After he had finished, he turned to Harry, who automatically backed all the way to the door. Malfoy was glaring furiously and took low, threatening steps towards Harry.  
Harry clenched his jaw and pulled out his wand and pointed it at Malfoy, whispering,  
"Don't."

Malfoy narrowed his eyes and took one more step closer and muttered,  
"Do you have any idea what you've done?"

Harry answered, "No. I haven't got the faintest clue about why you're this hostile. Why don't you tell me?"

Malfoy frowned and stayed still, Harry lowered his wand a bit and asked,  
"Come on, tell me. What have I done to make you angry with me? Except trying to save our potion and because of that broken into your bedroom."

Malfoy shook his head a little and then asked, "Why did we have to cast the spell again?"

Harry answered, "There was a page missing in the book you and I read. I just found out about it, apparently we have to renew the spell every twenty four hours. I had no idea whether you had left the potion here or whether you had taken it to the potions class showcase, where students usually leave their potions. I didn't have time to start looking for it."

Malfoy's expression softened somewhat so Harry said,  
"Or would you rather we started from the beginning? Would you have rather went to get more of white sunflower weed from the lake?"

Malfoy shook his head and Harry put his wand away carefully and muttered,  
"That's what I thought. Are you going to explain to me why you're so angry with me?"

The Slytherin shrugged and took one step closer, it would take him at least six or seven more to reach Harry, Harry thought.

"What are you wearing?" Malfoy suddenly asked and Harry looked down at his nightwear.  
It was a red shirt with buttons, made of soft fabric and matching night pants. Here and there, there were golden snitches.

"This?" Harry asked, "This is what I wear when I sleep. Why?"

Malfoy made a face. He didn't like the clothes, that much could be deducted from the expression.

Harry felt quite naked all of a sudden. He knew the clothes weren't anything fancy but he liked them.  
They were the only nightclothes he had bought for himself after the war. They had been the first admission of a new era in his life.

"Did you buy them?" Malfoy asked and Harry looked him in the eyes, "Yes."

"Are they special?" Malfoy asked and Harry felt even more naked, almost vulnerable, "Sort of, yes."

Malfoy didn't react to that in any way although Harry was waiting for a retort. When none came, Harry tried to see what Malfoy was wearing but it wasn't easy. Malfoy had crossed his arms over his chest, underneath he had the thick, black robe he had put over his nightwear.  
When Harry looked back up in Malfoy's eyes he could see how much the Slytherin was enjoying the fact Harry couldn't see his clothes. Harry wasn't going to give up that easily, he asked,  
"What are you wearing?"

Malfoy's expression was blank as he uncrossed his arms and opened up the robe. He let it fall down from his shoulders so the only thing stopping it from falling to the floor were his arms. Harry looked at him starting from toes and all the way up to the boy's neck and then back down again. Malfoy was wearing a black shirt with buttons and matching pants but otherwise they differed from Harry's clothes fairly much.

The black fabric looked smooth and soft, it might've been silk but Harry wasn't sure. There was an elegant Malfoy's family crest on the chest and in overall the clothes looked highly expensive.  
That rang a bell to Harry. These must be something special to Malfoy since he hardly would be able to buy anything that expensive again.  
Also the family crest might have an importance since Malfoy's parents were dead.  
The clothes seemed like a symbol for Malfoy's past, whereas Harry's own clothes had been a symbol for the new era and future.

Harry asked, "Are they special?"

Malfoy answered truthfully, "Yes."

Before Harry could come up with anything else to say, Malfoy said,  
"Your lip will never heal if you keep biting it like that."

Harry smiled a little, he was surprised by the change of the topic, he answered, "I don't mind."

Malfoy's expression was blank. Harry thought it was just a camouflage to hide his emotions, whatever they might've been.  
The Slytherin said, "But it might scar unless you heal it."

Harry shrugged and said, "I honestly don't care. Let it scar then."

Malfoy looked just a tiny bit surprised by this, "Don't tell me you have a thing for scars."

Harry didn't know if he had one, he answered nevertheless, enjoying the change in Malfoy's expression, "Maybe I do."

Malfoy clenched his jaw a little; then asked, "Did my teeth do that?"

Harry sucked his lower lip and answered, "I guess so, yes."

Malfoy's eyebrows went high but only temporarily, "And you want it to scar? That's just… weird."

Harry shrugged, "I really don't care whether it scars or not."

Malfoy looked thoughtful, "I have a scar too."

Harry lifted his eyebrows at that, "Yeah?"

Malfoy's expression became even blanker than before. Camouflage, Harry thought.

"Yes. You gave it to me." Malfoy said and watched Harry's expression change in fascination.

Harry clenched his jaw as the realisation hit him. Harry had been certain Malfoy had been healed properly and no mark or scar was left on his skin.  
He hadn't wanted to hurt Malfoy like that, and didn't want to have made a scar on the boy's skin.

Harry tried to let his jaw relax a bit, just to get the words out of his mouth,  
"I'm sorry. I didn't know what the spell was. I never meant to hurt you like that. You are talking about the bathroom incident, right?"

Malfoy nodded but didn't say anything so Harry felt like he should explain,  
"I had read about the spell but didn't know what it was. I had assumed it would do something harmless and remembered it while we were… so… I never meant to..."

Harry took a deep breath and couldn't form any ending to the sentence. He was staring at Malfoy's feet and it took a while before he had the courage to look at the Slytherin's facial expression. Blank.

Malfoy could probably tell Harry was feeling uncomfortable because he decided to make it worse by saying,  
"It's right here,"  
He drew a line in the middle of his chest with his finger. A straight line starting around the first button and ending not so long before where Harry thought his navel might be located.

Basically it ran over the whole chest then, Harry thought.  
That thought had a desperate echo, which made Harry feel awful.

"I'm sorry," He muttered and clenched his jaw.

"You want to see it?" Malfoy asked with a low voice and Harry's head snapped up, he'd been staring at Malfoy's feet again.

"Uhm… Can I?" Harry asked, not really knowing how he should react or respond.

"Of course you can since you made it." Malfoy said and sounded so nonchalant Harry wondered if there was a rule about these sorts of things he didn't know about.

"Oh…" He muttered and automatically took a step closer to Malfoy, who was unbuttoning his shirt.

Harry took another step closer and then another until he was standing close enough to run his eyes over the faint, white scar. It wasn't just as long as Harry had feared.  
It was… it was quite beautiful in fact.  
Malfoy's skin was very pale and the scar was only a little whiter, right there in the middle of the chest, running across his sternum and in between his ribs.  
Harry swallowed, he felt like touching it.

"Ugly, isn't it?" Malfoy muttered and Harry twitched, he hadn't realised he'd been standing quite so close before the volume of the voice hit his ear.

"No, it's… it's beautiful." Harry said and then wished he could take his words back, it didn't sound right now that he'd said it aloud.  
"I mean… I didn't mean…" Harry stuttered but didn't really know what he meant and feared he might actually be blushing right now.  
Harry looked up into Malfoy's eyes and was about to deny the beauty of the scar when he saw it.

It glimmered right there in the middle of the grey eyes; uncertainty.  
It was there and it begged Harry to say something nice.  
Malfoy was biting his lip, trying to hide the uncertainty but it was too visible for Harry.  
So Harry whispered, "I like it."  
There was another glimmer now, a quick flash of an emotion but Harry already knew what it was, it was hope.  
"Yeah?" Malfoy asked.

"Yes, it's beautiful." Harry answered and tried to smile.  
Malfoy simply looked at him and released a breath, which tickled Harry's cheek and reminded him of how close they were standing.

When the emotion in Malfoy's eyes changed yet again, Harry felt like he'd just learned a new language. If he looked carefully enough, he could see what Malfoy was feeling.  
Right now there was a hint of mischievousness and Malfoy narrowed his eyes just a little when he whispered, "Want to touch it?"

Harry stopped breathing for a moment. As the shock faded, the feeling replacing it was something quite unexpected.  
He wanted to say 'yes', he wanted to touch the scar, the chest and a lot of other places as well.  
He wanted to lean into the boy and kiss his bruised lip, make it bleed, make it scar too.  
He wanted to, he definitely wanted to but he couldn't say even the smallest of words so he stood still and stared.  
He stared at Malfoy's lower lip, his beautiful pale neck, collar bones, bare chest, nipples and almost jumped when Malfoy muttered,  
"Go ahead."

He looked into Malfoy's eyes. This was getting too intense.  
Was this a challenge? _You think you can scare me off?  
_  
Malfoy closed his eyes and took a deep breath before saying, "Do it."

Harry realised his mind and body were high on adrenaline, like he was expecting a fight any second now.  
He bit his lower lip and took a deep breath, mimicking Malfoy and reached out his fingers.  
He took one more step closer and placed his index finger on the scar.  
Malfoy twitched a little; Harry placed his middle finger next to his index finger and ran them on the skin.

Malfoy released a breath and his chest was heaving, like he was expecting a fight too.  
Harry ran his fingers up and down the scar, first gently and then firmly until it became gentle again.  
He really badly wanted to place his palm on the skin and touch it everywhere but he didn't dare to.  
Malfoy opened his eyes and Harry met his gaze, which looked dreamy.  
Reality hit Harry hard suddenly and he pulled his fingers away and stepped back.  
He felt like he'd done something wrong and took another step back.

Malfoy's expression turned into a nonchalant one and he began to button up his shirt.  
Eventually he wrapped himself into the thick robe and crossed his arms over his chest.  
Harry felt like they were back in the same moment from which they originally had left from.  
He felt like they'd just done an expedition into a foreign place, which he sort of liked but was afraid of at the same time. He backed up a couple of steps.  
He didn't know what to expect. In fact, he didn't quite understand what just had happened.

Malfoy frowned at him; that only made Harry take one more step back.

"I need to tell you something," Malfoy said.  
Harry thought it came out with a threatening tone and he felt like running away but didn't.  
Malfoy took steps towards him and he wondered if he should run nevertheless.  
When the Slytherin reached him, he grabbed the collar of Harry's shirt and pressed Harry against the nearest wall and said with a firm voice,

"I'm still angry at you, Potter. You've done things."

Harry tried to get a hold of the boy's arms to push him away but didn't succeed, he growled,

"For Merlin's sake, Malfoy. Tell me what I've done to you."

Malfoy slammed him a little harder and said between clenched teeth,

"Don't ever come to my bedroom again. Don't ever try to humiliate me again, Potter, or else…"

Harry wasn't going to let him act like this, he shouted,

"Or what? I haven't tried to humiliate you! I haven't done anything on purpose!"

Malfoy narrowed his eyes,  
"Or else I'll give you scars, Potter. I'll give you scars right inside your mind, from which you'll never be able to get rid of."

He let go off Harry and marched out of the room.  
Harry took a deep breath and ran after him but stopped at the top of the stair and shouted after the blond Slytherin, who was already halfway down the stairs,  
"I meant what I said! I don't know what I've done to you!"

Malfoy didn't stop and Harry simply glared after him.

Let him go, he thought, let him go and I'll renew the preservation spell until we can hand in the potion and then I won't have to talk to him again if he keeps acting like that.

The way Malfoy's skin felt under his fingers kept haunting him. He dreamed about it at night. He was thinking about it while he was awake. Malfoy's milky pale, soft, warm skin.


	6. Never Wake up a Sleeping Dragon

Zinnia says: my thoughts are in the end of the chapter. Dear netsite, please stop taking my star stoppers away because my readers get confused when the POV suddenly takes a jump. In this chapter the stopper is this: ooOoOoo

_**Chapter 6 Never Wake up a Sleeping Dragon  
**_

Harry had been renewing the preservation charm every evening and tomorrow would be the day when they finally got to give it Slughorn. Harry felt relieved as he stepped in the Room of Requirement and walked to the cupboard. When he opened it, his face fell.

There were at least three new bottles, which looked exactly like the one he and Malfoy had put in the cupboard. He took one out and looked at it. Was this the one which was theirs?  
He couldn't be sure.  
"Shit!" He shouted and put the bottle back. He took another bottle and regarded it.  
"Shit! These look exactly the same! Which one is ours?" He talked aloud in the empty room.

"What am I going to do now?" He groaned. Should he take one of the bottles and hope it was theirs? He had no idea what the other bottles had inside them. They might've been other students' potions but he wasn't certain.

"Shit." He said once more and made a tempus charm. He had exactly one hour before their potion would go bad if the spell wasn't renewed.

He ran to the Gryffindor tower and looked at Marauder's map.  
Shit. Malfoy was already in his bedroom.

"Merlin, help me." He muttered and gulped. He took the invisibility cloak, wrapped himself in it and started running towards the Slytherin dungeon.

"Half-blood mudblood" He told the wall which promptly gave him an access to the passage leading to Slytherin common room.

As he entered Malfoy's bedroom he noticed both of the boys had curtains closed around their beds. Harry forced himself to walk up to Malfoy's bad and peered in. Malfoy was sleeping peacefully.

Harry sighed. This meant war, he knew it.  
He was certain Malfoy would keep his promise of scarring his mind, whatever that meant.

He climbed on the bed and closed the curtain behind him.  
He took off the cloak and whispered,

"Malfoy!"

Malfoy stirred in his sleep and muttered something.

"Malfoy!" He repeated.

"Fuck me." Malfoy said.

Harry froze. What? Did he just hear what he thought he heard?  
This was not good.  
"Malfoy!" He tried again and finally said it aloud, "Malfoy, wake up!"

The blond Slytherin opened his tired eyes and then they flew open when he realised someone was there. He hastily sat up and pulled his blanket tightly over his lap,  
"What the hell are you doing in here?" He muttered, sounding angry despite the sleepy slur.

"Someone's been in the Room of Requirement! There are several new bottles and I have no idea which one's ours! You have to come and help me! We have one hour before the potion goes bad!"  
Harry said in a serious voice.

Malfoy simply sat there, his head was hanging, and his shoulders were slouched. He didn't say anything.

Harry was suddenly scared, "Did you hear what I said? We have to go, now."  
Malfoy didn't say anything and Harry tried to analyse the situation.  
He was here, in Malfoy's bed although Malfoy had specifically told him not to ever come here again. Malfoy was too silent. Something was not right, that much was clear.

"Malfoy? You okay?" Harry asked, the worry was clear in his voice.

"I told you. I told you not to come in here." Malfoy said, and his voice was quiet.

"I know but… we have to give in the potion tomorrow! We can't let it get ruined now! We have no time to make it again!"

Before Harry knew what happened, Malfoy had pulled his wand from underneath the blanket, pointed it at Harry and made a spell which sent Harry sprawling on the bed, his hands were pulled by invisible strings and suddenly his both hands were tied in the posters by silky ribbons.

"What are you doing?" He breathed, slightly panicked.

"Scourgify," He heard Malfoy mutter and then the Slytherin crawled over Harry to get out of the bed.  
When he was standing firmly on the floor, he looked down at Harry and said, "Expelliarmus."

Harry's wand flew in Malfoy's waiting left hand.

"Stay here, I'll be right back." Malfoy said to Harry, and pulled the curtain closed.  
He left Harry there, helpless and wandless.

"Zabini!" He shouted. He knew it was in vain, he knew Malfoy had silencing charms around the bed.

"Zabini! Help!" He tried again but knew it was useless. He tried to struggle but the ribbons only got tighter around his wrists.

He had no idea what had just happened. What was Malfoy going to do with him?  
He needed to figure out something to say which would make Malfoy let him go.

ooOoOoo

Draco was furious. He couldn't remember the last time he had lost all control like this.  
He put the bottle back in the cupboard on its right place and cursed Potter aloud, "Blind idiot."

The bottle had been exactly in the same place as always, and it was no problem there were some other bottles around it.  
Was Potter really that stupid? Surely Potter knew which bottle was theirs!

Did he think he could march right in Draco's bed without consequences?  
Did he do it for fun, and to humiliate Draco? Was that it?

Draco felt like his head was about to burst off.  
He wasn't sure if he had ever been this angry or felt this humiliated before.  
Potter had done it all on purpose! He'd done it so many times; Draco couldn't even count them anymore.  
Potter had suggested they go under the invisibility cloak; then Potter gets all weird about it, goes down on his knees and looks up at Draco like he wants to suck him off.  
What the hell was that all about?  
Also, when they were by the lake and Potter had climbed on top of Draco's stomach.  
It was around that time when Draco knew it had gone too far.  
Surely Potter must've noticed him getting hard! There was no way even Potter could be that blind!

Draco had been hard most of the fucking time he spent with Potter!  
There was absolutely no way Potter didn't know about it.

Draco had been seeing wet dreams about Potter even long before that night.  
The dreams just kept coming more often now. In fact, it almost seemed like all Draco could dream of was sex.  
Sex, sex, sex, and always with Potter.  
Like tonight!  
Draco had been all peacefully seeing the most wonderful dream where Potter was sucking him off, so good, and just when Draco came and woke up… Potter was there! Watching him!  
It was crazy! It was more than Draco could handle. Potter had crossed the line long ago.

Draco hated him. Potter did it on purpose because he enjoyed seeing Draco get all hot and bothered.  
He hated Potter so much he could barely do his schoolwork, eat or sleep.  
And he wanted Potter just as much as he hated him.  
He wanted Potter so much it made him weak in the knees.  
He hardly dared to go to bed at nights because the dreams were so good he didn't want to wake up in the mornings. And yet he let himself lull into those thoughts about Potter so he could fall asleep instead of worrying about his useless life.

Draco's life was such a mess; everything had fallen apart during the summer. He missed his parents awfully much. He missed his old life, even if the last few years had been like a nightmare.  
Being with Potter was the closest place to heaven on earth, Draco knew that.  
Potter was the only thing that could distract Draco's thoughts away from his miserable life and worthless future. Even before he had known he wanted Potter, with the Gryffindor he had forgotten everything else.  
If only Potter knew that too.  
If only Potter had sucked Draco off instead of letting him wake up in his own orgasm.  
But no.

Potter claimed he had no idea about anything. Maybe Potter really was so blind; he was totally useless.  
Still Draco wanted him, idiot or not, he didn't care.

He was certain Potter was doing it on purpose, he was playing around with Draco, there simply wasn't any other explanation to all this.  
Potter had been touching his chest ever so gently, when he was running his fingers on the scar. Draco had been so hard he knew for a fact Potter could see that.  
He knew Potter wouldn't do anything about it but he'd hoped for it anyway.  
He couldn't help it! He wanted Potter!

Potter owned Draco. He owned his body, every nerve and thought going through his head.  
Maybe Potter was fully aware that Draco's feelings had turned into something like an obsession.

He'd been shouting at Potter, hadn't he? He'd been telling him NOT to come to Draco's room.  
And he did come, nevertheless, with the stupid excuse of not finding their bottle.

It was all getting out of hand.  
Draco couldn't even control his own thoughts anymore.  
All he could think of was Potter.

He knew he needed to have Potter. He needed to tear him into pieces, steal the last drops of his sanity, just like Potter had done to him. Potter made him feel embarrassed and humiliated, and it was simply too much now that Draco didn't have control over his life in any way.

Although Potter claimed he hadn't done it on purpose – Surely that couldn't be true; no-one could be that innocent, not even Potter!

Yes, Draco would have his revenge on Potter. It was payback time.

He marched back into Slytherin dungeon ("Half-blood mudblood") and into his bedroom.

He stripped off his shoes and his warm, black, robe which he always wore if he had to get up from the bed at some unholy hour.

He opened the dark green, satin curtain and looked down at his prey.  
He had both of their wands in his right hand.

"Still here, I see" He muttered, stepped in and closed the curtain.  
He climbed right on top off Potter; lay down there, crushing the Gryffindor, who immediately started to struggle and shouted,  
"Malfoy, I'm gay!"

Hah! Like that made any difference!  
The struggle Potter was making was so useless it almost made Draco laugh.  
Draco pressed both of the wands against the skin on Potter's neck.

"Shut up, I'm doing the talking now. I'll bind your legs too if you don't stop with the kicking right now."

"What are you going to do? Let me go right now, Malfoy!" Potter was trying to sound threatening; his eyes looked dark in the dim room.

Draco smirked at him, pressed the wands a little more firmly on Potter's skin and he drawled,  
"I told you to shut up. Do you want me to bind your legs?"

That did it; Potter growled in anger like an animal but didn't try to kick Draco.  
Oh, Draco loved it.  
So helpless, it suited Potter.

"Potter, I told you not to come here. This is your own fault, don't try to blame me for this. I told you I'd get my revenge if you came here ever again. You heard what I said.  
You know what that means? It means you're not as innocent as you pretend to be.  
You came here because you wanted it, didn't you?"

Draco lifted his left eyebrow a little. Potter narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything.

Draco continued, "You've enjoyed humiliating me for a while now. Coming here and watching me have a wet dream is just the top of the ice berg. You've known I've been hard so many times and yet you claim you haven't done anything."

Potter's eyes flew open, "What? What are you talking about? I haven't – "

Draco pointed the wands right in between Potter's eyes, "Shut the hell up! You liar."

Potter clenched his jaw, and Draco was happy. Potter was practically admitting everything.

"You've seen me hard more times than anyone else ever! And you know what? Yes, it has been because of you, you've done it. You've turned my thoughts into a fucking mess. I know you enjoy that."

Potter frowned and he looked like he was about to say something so Draco let the tips of the wands press Potter's bruised lower lip gently,

"You've stolen the last bits of my pride, Potter. Now I'm going to do the same to you." Draco whispered and enjoyed when panic flashed in Potter's eyes.  
Potter tried to struggle with his arms and asked,  
"What are you going to do? If you hurt me, I swear I'll get you for it!"

Draco shook his head a little, took Potter's glasses away and dropped them in the crack between the bed and the wall.  
Along with the glasses he also dropped Potter's wand.

He took a more comfortable position on the Gryffindor, slithered between Potter's thighs, thrust a little against him and muttered,  
"This will do. Now, listen up, Potter. First we are going to have a nice little chat. I already told you you've made me feel humiliated so now it's your turn to tell me some things I want to know."

He kept his voice low and calm; he knew he would get Potter to relax if he tried long enough.  
He looked into Potter's eyes, they were burning with anger; it was visible even now that the room was so dark.  
Draco enjoyed the look on Potter's face and gave a curt smile. Potter was fighting back less than he'd expected him to.  
He pressed the tip of his wand against Potter's throat and talked with a low voice,

"I know you like to fight back and I'm going to tell you this only once; I don't want you to do that. I don't want you to shout for help either since it's useless. I assure you, I won't use any magic on you. I'll even put my wand away if you co-operate with me and answer my questions. Can you do that for me, Potter?"

Potter clenched his jaw, Draco wasn't certain if Potter was scared but at least he was angry, and that was a good thing, it would make him feel even more humiliated after Draco got him to speak.

"Malfoy," Potter started and stared intensively into Draco's eyes,  
"You've gone mental. You better let me go right now or you'll get into serious trouble."

Draco smiled and released a small amused snort, "Oh, really?"

Draco decided it was time for Potter to stop talking about consequences so he moved just a little, just enough to rub against Potter so the shock of it would make Potter lose the control over his speech orgasm... no, speech organs, he was thinking about Potter's voice, not some other things.

"I mean it, Malfoy. And stop doing that!" Potter ordered and gritted his teeth in anger.

"Shut the hell up! This is your fault so you need to handle the consequences too!" Draco snapped and pressed his wand back on Potter's forehead, right on the scar.

Potter did stop talking but kept gritting his teeth and stared at Draco with that burning gaze; which made Draco's flesh go into goose bumps.  
Draco stared right back, he was in control now, he felt powerful for once,

"Now, Potter. There are things I want to know. It's only fair you answer my questions since you already know these things about me. So, tell me, do you see wet dreams?"

Potter raised his eyebrows just a little but clenched his jaw even tighter, apparently refusing to answer.  
"Come on now. We'll stay right here until you've answered my questions." Draco muttered, coaxing.

Potter narrowed his eyes a little and said, "Put the wand away and I'll tell you."

_What? That was easy! _Draco did lower his wand until it was resting against the pillow, and not pointing at Potter, who was clearly hoping he could magically escape the situation somehow.

"Tell me," Draco muttered, and he was serious now.

This wasn't just a random game he was playing, no, this was a big thing.  
He really needed to dig into Potter's personal things and thoughts in order to steal the control away from him, to dominate Potter and make him feel as weak and powerless as he had made Draco feel.

He'd love to keep Potter bound in his bed forever.  
Potter would make a nice pet, if only Draco could tame him a bit.  
Too bad Potter was famous and everyone would notice he was absent if Draco kidnapped him.

"Why do you want to know that?" Potter asked.

"And why aren't you answering my question already? Surely it wasn't a difficult question, Potter."  
Draco said, mimicking Potter's tone.

"Everyone sees wet dreams, so what?" Potter said and bit his lower lip. Draco's eyes fell to the lip for a moment, he asked,

"Do you dream about me?"

Now this was getting even more serious. Draco was putting himself in a vulnerable position by asking sensitive questions. Weren't the questions revealing a lot about himself too, even if Potter was the one who answered them. This was getting a bit dangerous, but he didn't care.  
He knew he would find a way to make Potter answer sooner or later. He couldn't go back now.

Potter gritted his teeth. Was that an admission?

"Tell me, do you?" Draco commanded, although Potter's eyes were burning so hot he could barely keep staring at him.  
Finally Potter relented, closed his eyes and took a deep breath before whispering, "Yes."

Although Draco was the one who asked, he still felt bewildered when Potter agreed to give an answer. He hadn't thought about what Potter's answer would be since he hadn't really planned any of this beforehand.

Potter muttered, "It doesn't mean anything though, since I see a lot of dreams about a lot of people. It's just my sub consciousness and I don't have any power over it, so it doesn't really matter or mean anything."

Then Potter opened his eyes and Draco felt a little cold. Surely his dreams about Draco would mean something, wouldn't they? It wasn't possible Potter could see wet dreams about someone without it having some sort of meaning to it.

"Tell me about your dreams, the ones I'm in." Draco said but he could clearly see Potter's expression harden and knew he wouldn't get an answer.

Potter said, "You can't force me to share my dreams with you, Malfoy."

Draco raised his eyebrows, and his tone was even harder than he wanted it to be, "Keep telling yourself that and you'll never get out of here."

Potter shook his head a little and then turned his head to the left and closed his eyes.

Was he trying to ignore Draco? No way was Draco letting him do that!

"You know what, Potter? I think it's time I told you what I was dreaming about when you woke me up tonight. And after that I'm going to tell you how your dreams look like, I'm pretty sure I have enough imagination to predict what's going on in your sub consciousness."

Draco gritted his teeth, he was extremely angry with Potter. How dare he try to look like he didn't know Draco was there? Draco leaned closer to Potter's ear and took a deep breath to calm himself down enough to get some control over his tone, to make it softer and seductive.

_I know I can do this. I only need to get him hard, that's enough humiliation for him._

"I was dreaming about you, Potter. I dream a lot about you. In this dream you were here and we'd just woken up so I assume you'd been sleeping here the whole night. And you were hard. You told me we should have sex. You know what dreams are like, they're very messed up so in my dream I thought your suggestion sounded perfectly ordinary and I said sure. So you went down on me and Merlin, you kept moaning throughout the dream. You were so greedy, you grabbed my cock like you'd been waiting to do that forever…"

Draco paused and took a deep breath. Potter was biting at his bruised lower lip, it looked so good. Draco hated to admit to himself, that he enjoyed doing this although his only goal was to get Potter hard.  
If Potter really was gay, then this shouldn't even be that difficult.  
Potter took a deep breath too underneath Draco, and Draco was feeling hot.  
He leaned even closer to Potter's ear and now the anger had subsided enough to let him use just as low and sensual voice as he wanted to, he knew he could do that,

"It's really funny actually because I don't think you'd ever really be like that; all greedy and sloppy with the need of it. So you rubbed my cock and then took it in your mouth, and all the while you kept moaning and it just turned me on more. And you sucked it, it felt so nice, I don't think you'd ever be that good in reality but you knew exactly what to do and it felt so good. So I kept talking all kinds of dirty little things to you and you loved it. And you just sucked me until I couldn't take it any longer so I came and you know what? I think you swallowed. Then the rest of it you do know, you woke me up."

Draco took a deep breath and pressed himself tightly against Potter, to get his hands under Potter's back to get closer and to support his weight without effort.  
Potter twitched and arched his back a bit, Draco wasn't sure whether it was from the shock of his touch or whether Potter gave him a permission to place his hands there.

Potter was still biting his lower lip and he was frowning a bit, and Draco could feel his heartbeats against his chest now that they were as close as you could get. He was actually quite happy Potter kept his eyes shut since Draco wasn't sure he could look him in the eyes right now,

"I'll tell you another dream. I'll tell you your dream. Want to hear it?"  
He muttered and watched Potter's expression change. Potter swallowed and clenched his jaw, it made the sinews in his neck stand out a bit, now that was hot, Draco though and felt like sinking his teeth on the skin.  
Merlin, did his mouth just start to water? He swallowed and clenched his jaw in irritation.  
He was supposed to get Potter hard and not get all horny himself.

Potter moved just a bit underneath him while he was still staring at Potter's neck and facial expression.  
He let Potter squirm there helpless until Potter finally gave up again and said, "Okay."  
Draco smiled, he loved this.  
He felt like the lord of the whole universe now that Potter was all helpless and giving in.  
He leaned closer to Potter's ear and started talking again with the same low voice,

"In your dream you're here, and you've come here with some ridiculous excuse, like tonight and I've tied you up. And we're talking about our wet dreams and that turns you on so badly you can't help yourself so you want me to demonstrate what we're doing in our dreams. And I'll tell you we can do anything because we're in a dream so everything's allowed. I strip you down of your ridiculous shirt. But once again you're greedy and you insist I take your pants off too, so I do that and I touch you. And you start moaning again, just like you did in my dream. You say you want it. You're all hard and your cock feels so good in my hand and I'll rub you, and you love it. You beg for me to not stop and you tell me you want me to suck you. So I slither down your body and kiss your stomach because you like that and you keep writhing a bit because you wish you could touch me but I won't allow it."

He paused for a moment to see Potter's expression. The Gryffindor was biting his lip and was frowning, but it must've been in pleasure, and not in irritation. He rubbed his hips against Potter's, just a little, to make sure Potter was hard, and yes! Potter was hard!

He was so happy he wanted to laugh but he bit his lip and continued the story, most of it was just words which he didn't base on any facts he knew of, but he thought anything he said might be true. He didn't know, but he was certain Potter's body language would tell him when he hit the right nerves,

"Then you say you like to be in chains and you love it when someone else takes the control over you because you've been forced to be so brave and all that. You're fed up with it, and you like it when all you have to do is take it, and I'm forcing you through all the things we do. Do you like that?"

He asked and lifted his head a bit to see Potter's expression. Potter took a deep breath, and clearly was stalling to answer but did whisper, "Yeah, go on."

Draco smiled again. This was so easy! He was in total control right now, he felt so powerful he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this good. He was probably harder than Potter was but that didn't matter; all that mattered was that Potter was hard, and Potter was all his for now.

"So I kiss and lick your skin but you're so greedy, you start begging me to suck you so I lick your cock and then I… take it in my mouth and you like it, you moan, you say it feels good and you try to push it deeper so I let you do that."

He had to take a small pause and bite his lip a bit, he was enjoying this too much. He felt like he wanted to do all of it in real life, right now,

"I let you push it deeper and I suck you. I like it so I moan too. It just makes you moan louder and I really want to please you so I start rubbing your balls too, very gently. I let you push it all the way down my throat and you tell me it feels so good you could come right there. I have to put my hands on your hips to keep you from choking me with it, while I suck it, and I'm greedy too. I moan around your cock but that's not enough so I place my hand under your ass and squeeze your arse cheek. It makes you push deeper in my mouth. And you keep begging for me to touch you and give you more so I make a lubrication charm and start rubbing your arsehole and you love that too. Then you moan and tell me to fuck you so I penetrate you with my fingers and you like it. You say you want it so bad and it feels so good. You push deeper down my throat again and I let you do that. I let you do whatever you want and you keep pleading me to fuck you so I fuck you with my fingers while I let you choke me. We're moaning, you keep saying these dirty little things, how much you like to watch me suck your cock and how good my fingers feel inside you. Want me to carry on?"

He raised his head a bit. Merlin, Potter did look like he liked it. He was sucking his lower lip hard and he had squeezed his eyes shut, like he really didn't want to enjoy this but did immensely nevertheless.  
Potter's chest was heaving. Oh, he looked so hot Draco really wanted to fuck him so badly.  
Potter's answer was a gasp of breath with a hiss, "Yes."

Draco let his eyes close for a moment and he took a deep breath before continuing,

"I keep talking dirty things to you around your cock. You love it, it turns you on even more. I tell you I want you so bad and I tell you I love your cock and the way it feels in my mouth. You keep pushing it down my throat while you're moaning and begging for more. I fuck you with my fingers so hard and I keep swallowing your cock again and again and then I say 'come for me' and you just moan harder and I know you're about to come so I just keep on sucking harder and then I say 'let me have it, come for me baby' and then you say – "

"Say that again" Potter gasped breathless and his legs were wrapping around Draco's thighs so tightly it hurt,

"What? Come for me?" Draco muttered.

"Yeah and 'baby'" Potter hissed and turned his head just a bit, so his lips met Draco's shoulder.

"What?" Draco muttered. Did Potter just say 'baby'? Had Draco said that? What a turn off! That word really didn't belong to Draco's vocabulary. That was something so Hufflepuff Draco had to wrinkle his nose a bit.  
"Talk to me" Potter whispered and was rubbing his crotch against Draco's.  
Draco blinked, he felt disoriented and hazy.  
He kissed Potter's neck just a little bit underneath his ear and then began muttering,

"Yes, come for me, I want it." He could feel how Potter's body was reacting to his every word; he was like a puppet master. Oh God, it was too hot, he could come like this too.

"Uh, come for me. I want you to come for me, now…" Then he added as an afterthought "…baby."

Potter's body was tense like bowstring as he pushed up against Draco and gasped for breath before pressing his whole body against Draco so hard he felt like Potter was trying to melt through his skin. Draco could feel Potter's cock and he was so turned on he really wanted to let himself come right now too but he had to fight back with the last drops of his self-discipline.  
Potter gasped against Draco's shoulder and released a small sound of despair. The sound of it made Draco feel like he would come if Potter made that sound again.

As Potter relaxed under him and his feet dropped away from Draco's, Draco had to bite his lip hard not to whisper little things to Potter. He wanted to tell him how badly he wanted him. He wanted to beg for Potter to keep making nice little whines so that Draco would come too. Oh, he wanted it so badly it hurt.

The Gryffindor was exhausted and sweaty; and apparently all relaxed too. He still had his eyes closed, which was probably a good thing since Draco was so disoriented he would've said stupid things which he would regret later on.

Draco forced himself to move, to get up from Potter's spent body and with a quick spell he had gotten Potter's glasses and wand in hand and released Potter from the strings.

Potter didn't move, he kept panting a long time before his breathing got more even.

_I need to destroy him now, I have to do it. This is the moment I was waiting for. Why am I feeling this way? Why is it this hard to tell him to simply go._

He bit his lower lip angrily and he was angry to himself for feeling this needy, so he forced the words out with as much strength as he could,

"We're still not even, Potter. This was only the first lesson. Now go and don't show yourself around here ever again!"

Potter's eyes flew open and he stared at Draco like he couldn't understand a word.

Draco narrowed his eyes and snapped, "I said go!"

Potter got up but it seemed like his whole body was numb or something because his movements were so slow. Draco had to urge him before he'd give in to the temptation and plead for Potter to suck his cock or something else entirely.

"Go! Move! Go, now!" Draco did manage to sound furious.

"Where's my cloak?" Potter muttered, and sounded like he still wasn't back from the afterglow.

"I'm keeping it for now. It's part of my lesson. Now go!" Draco said and made a shooing movement with his wand.

Potter looked cute; his hair was even messier than usually and the bewildered look on his face said 'I just had sex', and then there was the wet spot on his pants. Argh, why did Draco have to be this horny, even that fucking wet spot made him think of coming.

"Go!" He snapped once last time and Potter did go.

It was good he left. Potter wouldn't have been in that hazy state for very long and he'd probably be furious after a moment of thinking about what just had happened.

Draco pulled the curtain shut with a quick swift and then tore his pants off with force.  
He let himself moan as he rubbed himself furiously. He was so frustrated.  
Potter should've begged a permission to suck Draco's cock. That would've been nice. Potter on his knees in between his thighs and swallowing it all the way down. Yeah, just like that. And Potter would've moaned, and made that desperate sound which nearly brought Draco off the edge.  
He visualized Potter's face, his hair all messy, sucking it, and Draco whispered things aloud to his imaginative Gryffindor until he came.

*******  
Zinnia says**: Brace yourself for the next chapter.  
Someone asked me what type of music I listen to, and that gave me the idea to add as an afterthought some songs I was listening while I wrote this story.  
In this chapter it was none other than _**Nine Inch Nails - Closer**_  
Listen to it and you'll understand why this chapter was the closest to PWP I've ever written.


	7. Mental scars are easy to make

_Zinnia says: Dragons are dangerous, that's why J.K. advised us not to tickle them in the beginning of the fifth book.  
Thanks for the reviews and pm's.  
_

_Chapter 7 __**Mental scars are easy to make…**__  
_

…_**and more difficult to get rid of once they've been done.**__  
_

Draco woke up and after a moment's disorientation he remembered what had happened the night before. Potter had been here, in his bed. Did that really happen or was it just an elaborate dream?

Potter's cloak was still here though; he'd fallen asleep all over it after he had jerked off the frustration.

The point had been to make Potter feel humiliated but he would need to see Potter in order to see what the Gryffindor was feeling. He was suddenly feeling enthusiastic and impatient to know whether he'd succeeded or not.

He got up quickly and woke Blaise up before going to the shower.  
Together these two Slytherins headed for breakfast before their first class, which would be divination. The second class would be potions and they would finally get to give Slughorn the potion.

Draco couldn't stop staring at the Gryffindor table, where Potter was eating hastily, like he hadn't seen food for ages. Potter looked happy, his face seemed to radiate with carefree joy.

Potter didn't look humiliated at all. Draco's eyebrows went into a thoughtful frown.

"Potter looks like he's had a blowjob for breakfast. Doesn't he?" Blaise laughed into Draco's ear; apparently he'd seen where Draco's gaze was directed.

Draco turned to look at Blaise and narrowed his eyes, "I hate him."

Blaise grinned and muttered, "Why do you look so unhappy all of a sudden? Are you jealous of him?"

Right at this minute Draco regretted ever telling Blaise about his sexual orientation.

"Shut the hell up, Zabini!" Draco snapped and tried to look for something to eat but his appetite was gone.

Why did Potter look so happy? Potter definitely didn't look like someone who'd been forced to come in front of a person he didn't want to come, ever.  
Wasn't it supposed to work that way?  
If Draco had been feeling humiliated for being hard and waking up from a wet dream while Potter was there; then shouldn't Potter feel humiliated he'd come in front of Draco?  
Was he missing something?

He felt like taking an apple and throwing it at Potter but managed to resist the temptation.

"Honestly, Draco. The thing between you two is getting a bit weird." Blaise said.

Draco bit his bruised lower lip and hadn't even realised he'd been staring at the Gryffindor all this time.

"What do you mean?" He asked Blaise but refused to move his gaze from Potter's laughing face.

Blaise leaned a little closer so that no-one would hear them although there wasn't anyone sitting nearby anyway,  
"Everyone knows you two don't hate each other anymore. Everyone can see that you are too old to carry on the way you guys used to. Yet there's something really weird about you two working together with the potions assignment. And also, the way you two keep looking at each other, it can't be all that healthy. Mate, I'm just saying."

Draco forced his eyes away from the Gryffindor and looked at Blaise with a serious face,

"Has it ever occurred to you that maybe we've been trying to become friends?"

Blaise blinked but then made a disbelieving face,  
"Alright, whatever you say. I just though you should know it doesn't look completely friendly to me."

Draco narrowed his eyes a bit, "No-one cares about your opinion."

Then he got up and marched out of the Great Hall. Why was Potter so happy?

Had something good happened to him after he'd left the Slytherin dungeon last night?

Or… what? NO! It couldn't have been! Potter couldn't have been so cunning that he'd come to Draco's bed in order to make Draco admit he'd been hard because of Potter before and…

Potter had surely known Draco had been hard several times. Did that mean Potter came to him to… to what? To get things end up the way they had ended up?  
Had Potter planned it all?  
Had Potter kept Draco as his toy and made Draco think he was in control while it was all going according to some sick plan of Potter's?  
Could that be possible? Draco didn't know.

Potter did defeat the Dark Lord – there had to be something, some secret power in Potter, which Draco didn't know of. Maybe Potter had more brain than Draco thought.

It would explain why Potter looked so happy; maybe Draco had unknowingly given Potter exactly what he had wanted to get! Maybe this was just another way Potter humiliated Draco.

_Am I being obsessive about him?_ _Yes, yes I am. Now where am I?  
_  
He looked around. He'd been so deep in his thoughts he had apparently walked all the way to the lake. He quickly turned around and hastily started walking back towards the castle.  
He would surely be late for class.

One thing was certain now; Potter was happy and Draco wasn't.  
And it was supposed to be the other way around.

"Keep on laughing, while you can, Potter." He muttered to himself as a whole new plan began to form in some very deep place inside his mind.

Potions classroom; Slughorn was standing there explaining something as Draco marched in with the potion in his hand. He walked over to the professor's desk and placed the potion on the table.

Slughorn smiled and thanked, and Draco walked back to the end of the classroom where he usually sat with Blaise. He didn't even glance at Potter; he had decided to act just like Potter did – like nothing had ever happened between them.

As the professor valued the potions it became clear Draco and Potter did win.  
Everyone in the classroom seemed either disappointed or unbelieving.  
Draco wasn't surprised, and he wasn't even happy, unlike Potter who was laughing aloud when the students kept asking him 'How did you manage to work with Draco Malfoy? I never believed it would work!'.

Draco kept his eyes on the desk in front of him and had to poke Blaise with his elbow more than once because Blaise was being exceptionally irritating, teasing Draco about some certain Gryffindor.  
Draco was furious. He couldn't really focus on the theme of today's lecture. The tickets didn't make him feel good; winning meant nothing because the most important game was just in the beginning.

That game was called something like 'How to wipe that smile off from Potter's face?'.

This game didn't have any rules and Potter didn't know there was a game going on but yes, there was a game and Draco would win this one. He would do anything to make Potter suffer the way he'd been suffering.

He didn't even notice the lesson was over until Blaise called out, "Honestly, Draco."

Draco got up, packed up his bag and left. During the rest of the day he kept thinking about what he would do to Potter. Most of the thoughts included either fighting (Potter would lose) or sex (Potter would realise he wanted Draco so badly he would beg for Draco to do something about it, Potter would be on his knees…) or both (Potter would give up the fighting, be all hard and then beg for it).

He grabbed the invisibility cloak, walked all the way up to the Gryffindor tower and stood there, waiting for anyone who would come up and unknowingly reveal where the entrance to the Gryffindor common room was, along with the means of how to get in.  
He didn't have to wait for long until Longbottom appeared and Draco simply followed him until he stopped in front of a painting where there was a fat woman. Longbottom talked with the woman for a moment before saying something which really didn't suite the sentence so Draco understood 'phoenix' was the password. He left.

When he was sitting on his bed, thinking through his plan, Blaise came to him and asked,

"Draco, do you miss your parents?"

Draco looked at Blaise frowning, and answered truthfully, "Not really, why?"  
It was true; he didn't because he only thought about Potter and nothing else existed.

Blaise sighed and then muttered,  
"Have you ever thought about the possibility that… don't get me wrong now, I'm only asking this for your own good. Do you think you might be so obsessed with Potter because you don't want to grieve over your parents? Don't you miss your home? The money? Don't you miss any of it? I think you should, I think you might be avoiding reality."

Draco narrowed his eyes. They had been getting along with Blaise until now, but now he felt like this friendship of a sort would soon be over if Blaise kept bothering him with some nonsense.

"I think you're full of bullshit, Zabini. Leave me alone and mind your own business." Draco hissed and pulled the curtain shut. He returned back to his thoughts about planning the revenge.

When the night came it was clear he couldn't fall asleep. He hadn't even looked towards the smiling Gryffindor today; he could hear in the boy's voice how happy he was. It was completely clear to Draco he hadn't managed to make Potter feel humiliated at all, and he felt even more embarrassed now than before.  
Potter was probably laughing because of what had happened last night. Apparently Potter thought it was all funny; he was surely laughing on Draco's expense.

He needed to do it now. He needed to find Potter and give him a lesson.  
No-one treats Draco Malfoy like shit, and if someone does, then it's most certainly not Harry fucking Potter.

He gritted his teeth in anger as he wrapped himself on the invisibility cloak and marched up to the Gryffindor tower.  
"Wake up" He snapped at the woman who was sleeping on the painting,

"What? Who's that?" The woman asked, rubbing her eyes.

Draco revealed his head from the cloak and said, "Phoenix."

The woman stared at him and frowned, "You're not a Gryffindor."

Draco smiled, "No, I'm not. I'm a friend of Harry Potter's and I borrowed his cloak and promised I'd give it back tonight so he gave me the password and told me you knew I was coming."

The woman looked thoughtful so Draco gave her his most attractive smile (the one he'd practised in front of a mirror when he was younger) and pressed on,  
"We were so happy today, Pot – Harry and I, because we won these really expensive Quidditch tickets. We were the best team in potions. Did he tell you about the tickets? We were so happy; we deserved them because we worked really hard to get them. Although if he's forgotten to tell you I was coming and he doesn't get his cloak back, he'll get furious to me. He loves this cloak, you see."

The woman yawned and said, "Oh, Alright. Go along then, I need to get some more sleep."

Having said that, the painting jumped out of the way to reveal a hole in the wall.  
Draco climbed through the hole and pulled the cloak back on.  
It was so late he doubted anyone would be still up but he wouldn't risk anything now that he'd gotten this far.

He let the fake smile linger on his lips a moment longer as he started to look for the Gryffindor dormitories. It wasn't difficult to locate the door which said 'Potter, Weasley' and Draco pushed the door open slowly.

It was quite dark but once he got in and closed the door behind him, his eyes adapted to the faint moonlight, which shone from the windows. Out of curiosity he walked over to the window, and looked outside. It was a clear night, the moon was full and you could even see the lake from here.

He turned around and gazed the four poster bed on his right, which had curtains fully closed; then shifted his gaze onto the one on his left side, which too had the curtains shut.  
His eyes landed on the bedside table where there were Potter's ridiculous glasses along with Potter's wand.

He'd been watching Potter use his new wand throughout the autumn months and although he never asked Potter anything, he suspected Potter had bought the wand the same day he'd returned Draco's, after the trial, back in the summer.

He realised the fake smile was still on his lips so he dropped it, and walked over to the bed, which he was certain would be Potter's.

As he peeked in, his suspicions were confirmed. The Boy Who Lived To Make Draco Hard And Miserable was sleeping there, looking as innocent as ever, and totally unaware of what he would be getting next.

He pulled the whole curtain open and gazed at Potter's sleeping face.  
It was good the dark haired boy was sleeping on his back so Draco could look at him properly.  
What shocked him a little though was the fact that Potter wasn't wearing a shirt.

It shouldn't have been surprising but he had been thinking about coming up here, and what he would see. In his thoughts Potter was wearing the same night clothes he'd been wearing when he was in Draco's bed last night.  
Last night – it felt like an eternity ago. The whole day had been a torturous wait as he was constantly suffering because of Potter.

What also shocked him was the fact he didn't know whether Potter was fully naked or not, since the blanket covered him all the way down from his nipples. The simple thought gave him shivers.

He shouldn't be worrying about it now, he should just do what he came here to do and not chicken out now.

He wasn't scared of Potter or anything but… something about all this made him awfully nervous.  
If Potter only knew he was watching him like this; watching his bare chest - it was only fair because Potter's fingers had once been on his chest.  
But Potter didn't know, and Potter wouldn't, not even if he woke up right now because Draco had the cloak on.  
Although Potter would probably suspect something because the curtain was still open.

Should he try to get into Potter's bed without waking him up? It would be safer to be inside the bed and close the curtain so there would be no evidence of his existence, wouldn't it?

He climbed in extremely carefully, barely daring to breathe; he whispered the silencing charm just in case, after he'd pulled the curtain shut.  
He watched where he landed his palms for support. Between Potter's knees there was just enough space for him to place his right knee there, and finally he was on all fours on top of Potter's blanket, under which Potter was sleeping, possibly naked.

Again the thought sent shivers running all over his back and he swallowed.

This was pretty much what he'd been thinking about earlier today; except in his thoughts Potter wore night clothes and he would've been sleeping on his side so Draco would've had enough space to sit there throughout the night if he felt like it.

In his thoughts Potter would wake up from a wet dream, be all confused because Draco was there and he would ask 'What are you doing here? How did you get in?' and Draco would answer 'You were just talking aloud in your dreams and you begged me to fuck you'.  
Potter would look horrified and say something like 'You're lying, I wasn't dreaming of you, I was dreaming of… of… another Malfoy, your father in fact' and Draco would quirk his eyebrow and say something witty, like 'you called me by my given name but don't you worry, Potter, if you keep begging like that, I might grand you wishes' and Potter would be so turned on by that sentence that he'd simply come right there and then, inside those stupid snitch pants, and Potter would feel so ashamed of himself he'd start to beg Draco would never tell anyone and -

Potter stirred. Shit, had Draco moved?  
Surely he hadn't even been breathing in Potter's direction!

Again Potter stirred, but this time more strongly and his wrist met Draco's. The Gryffindor didn't wake up at the first contact with the obstacle but moved his arm again, this time with a little more force as if his wrist had realised there wasn't supposed to be anything there.

Draco held his breath and wished Potter's sub consciousness or whatever would be thinking it's a wall or something, and suddenly he didn't want Potter to wake up at all.

Potter moved a little and turned his head but then he apparently decided to turn to his side and as he moved his knee, it met an obstacle as well. Potter's eyes flew open and he stayed completely unmoving for a moment, just staring at his wrist before making a hesitant push with it.

Potter didn't say anything but Draco was fairly certain Potter had understood the situation as it was. Potter must know it was Draco because the Gryffindor didn't panic or anything, it almost seemed like Potter had been expecting something like this to happen.

Draco was too scared to move or breathe; he had no idea what Potter would do or say now.

Potter looked hesitant but then he began climbing up Draco's arm with his fingers, and at Draco's shoulder Potter grabbed the fabric and pulled it slowly. Draco let him pull the cloak off and Potter's eyes widened only a little when their eyes met.

Neither of them said anything and Draco felt extremely confused; this was not going like he had planned at all. He had forgotten what he was supposed to say to Potter, the anger he'd felt when he came here, had gone away.

Potter simply looked at him; his eyes wandered from Draco's knees into his arms and then back into his eyes.

"I'm not in a dream, am I?" Potter finally asked and smiled a little.

Draco wasn't prepared for the smile and he felt even more confused as he couldn't glare back angrily, even though he tried his best. He didn't answer because he felt the question was unnecessary.

Potter stared at him and then said in a quiet voice, "I wondered whether you'd come."

Draco didn't know what to say to that so he simply kept staring back, he felt somehow trapped by Potter's gaze.  
Potter bit his bruised lower lip and then said, "I hoped you would."

"You did?" Draco found himself asking and couldn't remember why he'd come here. It felt like Potter was leading his thoughts into some direction without him being able to fight back.

"Yes. Although I didn't expect you to show up so soon after last night." Potter muttered and kept staring. Draco let him stare and didn't say anything.

Potter's eyes raked up and down Draco's body, and Draco felt powerful and helpless at the same time. Potter was underneath him and Potter might've been naked under the blanket (he got shivers) and Potter had been expecting him.

All that made him want to touch Potter and forgive whatever Potter had done to him, when the Gryffindor had humiliated him. It didn't matter right now because Potter's voice felt so gentle he simply wanted to reach out and touch Potter's skin.

He wanted to touch Potter so badly; he wanted to listen to Potter's gentle voice and lull into it. He wanted to stay right here the whole night and be with Potter, and he wanted to know whether Potter's touch would be as gentle as his voice.

He reached out and placed his palm on Potter's chest, just to feel what the skin felt like. It felt warm. Potter twitched and took a deep breath. He stared Draco in the eyes, and Draco asked,

"What are you wearing?" Cold shivers ran up his back as he thought the answer might be 'nothing'.

"Pretty much what I'm usually wearing when I sleep." Potter said and Draco moved his hand on Potter's skin, Potter seemed to be shivering underneath it.  
It turned Draco on, it was cute and hot, he thought.

"Which is?" He asked and Potter's look became challenging as he said,

"See for yourself."

Draco moved away from Potter's body so he could sit down on the boy's right side, cross his legs in the knee and look at Potter. Draco was nervous but forced himself to be brave and pulled the whole blanket off from Potter, who was now shivering with cold as half of his body was naked and the other half covered in the night pants. Draco felt relieved, he didn't know how he would've reacted if Potter had been all naked, he didn't know if he was ready for something like that with Potter, even if he wanted him so terribly much.

It was a lot easier to fantasise and hope for the sex, than actually be in a situation where he might get it. He didn't know what he was doing, but he knew this was not what he had come here to do in the first place.

He placed his palm on Potter's ribs and felt the warmth seep into his cold fingers. All the obsessiveness he'd ever felt towards Potter was paid back right now; this was so worth all the restless nights, all the frustration Potter had forced him go through.

He liked Potter's skin. He liked the warmth, and how different it felt from his own skin. Even in the darkness he could imagine it would be a different shade as well, Potter would surely be more tanned.  
Draco could imagine Potter running on a field on a summer day without his shirt on.  
He pulled away from his thoughts and glanced at Potter's expression before moving his fingers on Potter's left nipple.

It felt pretty much the same he'd thought it would but this was real now, he was having his fingers on Potter's skin for the first time ever. He completely forgot who they were as he pinched the nipple just a little, forcing Potter make a sound in the back of his throat. It turned Draco on, and he let his fingers run down, Potter had soft hair under his navel and Draco wondered how it was darker and longer than his own pathetic, almost invisible ones.

He traced the line of hair slowly down until his fingers met the fabric of Potter's pants.

The nervousness became subdued as the arousal kicked in, making him want to touch some more.  
He looked at Potter again and Potter was gazing Draco's hand on his skin before meeting Draco's eyes.  
The way Potter looked at him, eyes glimmering in the darkness, and Potter looked turned on too. Draco looked back down on his fingers and bit his lip as he moved his hand over Potter's pants, going down, down, and meeting Potter's cock. He touched it and the nervousness resurfaced a bit as he knew he would go further, he would go as far as he could until Potter would stop him. He was certain Potter would stop him sooner or later.

He touched Potter's cock through the fabric and could feel Potter wore nothing underneath, it made him bite his lower lip a bit harder, where the bruise was healing pretty nicely. He thought no scar would be left behind; unlike in Potter's lip, which Potter had abused so badly there possibly might be a scar left forever.

Potter hissed and his fingers appeared on Draco's knee. Draco wrapped his fingers around Potter's cock as well as he could, while the fabric was still on his way.  
He rubbed it, it felt so warm, and new, although it was Potter's, and Potter was something his existence had consisted of for a while now, if not as long as he'd known Potter.  
Potter's fingers squeezed his knee as Draco rubbed his cock firmly.

The Gryffindor moaned a little and Draco had to get the pants out of the way so he let go of Potter and pulled the pants down, just enough to get the cock out. The nervousness raised his head inside him but he forced it down as he touched Potter again, this time with no barriers between their skins. Potter was so hot; and so hard and it all felt good, Draco was so aroused he was afraid he might start drooling.

He pulled, squeezed, rubbed and pumped; and Potter's small incoherent noises made him want to fuck him so hard. He tried different things, like placing his thumb on the head, on the slit, and then dropping his hand all the way down, and squeezed Potter's balls gently, finding out what Potter liked and what he didn't.

Draco liked this, he liked this a lot; and Potter's moans were telling him things. They were telling him he wanted more, and how he wanted it.

Potter pushed himself in Draco's fist and Draco looked at his hips, he admired all the little movements the muscles were doing on Potter's lower stomach. He wanted to bury his face on the skin there, and lick and bite but he refrained, and settled for watching all the little movements, all the little pushes Potter made on his fist.

This was what he was supposed to get from Potter, this was what he wanted, Potter was his and Potter loved it.

The Gryffindor only moaned harder now so Draco smiled satisfied, he would make Potter come soon. He took a glance at Potter's face, whose eyes were almost closed with the needy look, if only Potter always looked at Draco that way.  
Potter closed his eyes and threw his head back and hissed, "So good…"

Draco smiled and grabbed Potter's cock even harder, his wrist hurt a bit but he couldn't care less, he pumped Potter's cock like his life depended on it.  
Potter looked so good this way, the way he was totally surrendered to his own lust; it was beautiful and so, so hot.  
Draco bit his own lip so he wouldn't accidentally moan but then he did anyway, in the back of his throat, he couldn't prevent it.

Potter fingers were digging into Draco's knee, as the Gryffindor's breathing became erratic, and Draco could feel it, Potter was so close. He loved the way Potter was biting his lip, frowning and his whole body belonged to Draco now. The noises Potter was now making were like words saying he was coming; and Draco forced it out.

Potter held his breath as he came on Draco's hand and on his own skin. Draco stared in awe, squeezing all of it out, admiring the texture, the warmth, and what he'd managed to achieve.  
He felt so content and so pleased with himself.

Potter gasped for breath and panted as he let go of Draco's knee. Draco let go of the cock, clenched his fist around the semen on his hand, then opened it and looked at the sticky mess, he loved it.

Potter was still panting a little as he pulled his pants back up. The movement made Draco forget the semen and look at Potter's expression. Potter didn't smile although Draco had expected him to do so. The Gryffindor simply stared at him and Draco didn't know what he was supposed to do or say, so he kept staring back.  
Then Potter said something, which didn't make any sense to Draco,

"I guess you'll be going now. Thanks for returning my cloak. Goodnight." Having said that, Potter turned on his side, his back towards Draco.

Draco stared at the Gryffindor for a moment. What the bloody hell was this?

Why did Potter turn him his back like this? Did Draco deserve to be treated like this after what he'd just done?

_Don't you fucking dare, you son of a -  
_Now he remembered why he came here; exactly because of this, because Potter humiliated him over and over again.

The anger flared inside him like wildfire and he grabbed his wand which was long forgotten over the cloak. He whispered the same spell he'd done on Potter the previous night; and in seconds Potter was on his stomach, his both hands tied in the posters while his feet were tied on the posters at the end of the bed.  
Potter shouted in surprise and tried to look at Draco over his shoulder, asking, "What are you doing now?"

Draco was furious, he yelled at Potter, "Now I'm doing what I came here to do! You think you can just play me for a fool? Who the hell do you think you are? I told you not to humiliate me anymore, Potter! I told you! I've had enough!"

Draco grabbed a hold of Potter dark hair and pushed the boys head on the pillow, Potter tried to struggle and shout something but it was so muffled Draco couldn't make out the words.

The adrenaline kicked in and roared inside Draco like an animal.  
It might've been a dragon but he felt like he was a lion.

He was here, the Gryffindors were usually more like lions but right now Potter was there all helpless and tied up, like a poor little baby gazelle and Draco was a beast who was about to bite its neck until it would stop fighting back, or either until it was dead.

Potter's helplessness turned him on more than anything and he really didn't care one bit if Potter didn't want the same things he wanted right now. Potter's furious shouts were drowned out by the animalistic growling of his thoughts inside his head. He placed his palm on Potter's bare lower back, the skin felt hot and inviting, telling him completely different things than what Potter's muffled voice was shouting ("Not like this, Malfoy! Not without my consent!").

He moved Potter's pants away too to reveal Potter's ass. He looked at it with a manic lust and squeezed it; it felt perfect. It was the perfect shape and size on Draco's hand; he wished he had an ass like that.

He could barely mutter the cleaning spell on Potter; he was so blinded by the desperate feeling of getting his fingers on the inside.  
So he didn't even make any lubrication spell_, let him suffer_, he thought_, let him suffer for all I care_.

He ran his fingers along Potter's crack and let the unrealistic need pump the wild thoughts around his head; like how he wanted to press his head down and bite Potter's ass, and lick it and spit on it, but he managed to hold himself back with that.  
_I really don't care if this hurts for him_, he thought, as he finally stopped playing around and forced his index finger inside Potter. He was holding Potter's head hard against the pillow but Potter shouted so hard he could hear it even through the pillow, and even through all the lust singing in his head, Potter was calling for help, "RON!"

"Shut the hell up or I'll spell your mouth shut!" Draco snapped and forced Potter's head deeper in the pillow. He really didn't care if Potter could breathe or not.

Potter growled like an animal and whined, all muffled, but it seemed to turn Draco on even more.  
How helpless Potter was, and all his.  
He wanted to tell that to Potter too, so he did, "Shut up! You're mine now, there's nothing you can do about it."

Potter was doing a poor job trying to escape from the chains; it had no effect on anything, it possibly made Draco feel even more sadistic. He pushed his finger deeper in, then pulled it out but wanted more so he added another finger and Potter was too tight.  
It was almost impossible to get the second one in but with the right amount of force he managed to get it there.

His movements were slow because Potter body didn't want him on the inside; Potter's body was rejecting him just like Potter always seemed to do in everything.  
It made him even more furious and with fierce adrenaline and lust shouting inside his head he forced the third finger in.  
_You're mine, how dare you reject me_. It was almost impossible to move the fingers but he didn't care since the way Potter was constantly shouting now, clearly in pain, felt so good.

Potter's head was constantly trying to turn and move under his hand, trying to shout thing to Draco, and trying to call for help, so Draco tightened his grip on Potter's soft, dark hair and pushed his head on the pillow as hard as he could.

"I said shut the hell up!" He muttered and continued trying to push his fingers back and forth and it felt so good.  
Potter was all his, and there was nothing that could change that right now.

Cold shivers ran down his back as he watched his fingers go in and out, and his fingers ached because Potter's body was trying to crush them with its tightness.  
He clenched his jaw, and added some more force and enjoyed the way Potter's body was all his now, he even thought about whether he should pull his own pants down, just enough to get his dick in there as well.  
No, it would be too tight; Potter's body would crush his bits. Besides he might do that some other time if Potter didn't stop the whole 'let's humiliate Draco Malfoy' thing after his.

The thought made him snap to Potter, "This is what happens when you lead people on, Potter. This is what happens when you make people want you, and then you humiliate them."

Potter was shouting something but he couldn't make out the words so he kept watching his fingers go in and out and oh, he was so hard and wondered again whether he really should put his cock in as well. He was almost about to do exactly that when he noticed Potter was shaking.

He looked up at Potter's head, the dark, soft hair he was squeezing so hard. The Gryffindor's shoulders were shaking and he was whining in a way which almost sounded like crying.

He stopped moving his fingers because he was suddenly confused.

The animalistic roaring quieted inside his head as he could now hear how Potter was truly crying, silently, and his whole body had stopped with all the fighting back, he wasn't struggling at all.  
Potter had given up. Potter was crying.

The thoughts somehow made him feel as if he was in shock of some sort. He just watched Potter's body shake in silent sobs and he felt his fingers loosen on Potter's hair on their own accord until his fingers were only resting there, buried in the dark softness.

Potter didn't move his head even a bit; he had accepted what was happening, like he didn't care any longer.

The way Potter's sobs sounded like, the way the crying was all quiet and how the body shuddered with the sobs or in pain; made Draco all startled and worried.

All the lust had disappeared and he pulled his fingers out of Potter's ass and moved his pants back up, the way they were before Draco had moved them. All of a sudden he realised his fingers weren't the same colour as the rest of his fingers and no matter how dark it was in the room, he knew without thinking it was blood. He stared at them in shock.

He panicked; he made a quick cleaning spell on his fingers and pulled the curtain open. He could barely look at the crying Gryffindor as he stepped out of the bed, didn't close the curtain but left the room with silent, urgent steps; the invisibility cloak left on Potter's bed.

He felt numb as he walked down the stairs. He kept glancing at his fingers ever so often to make sure there wasn't any blood on them. He felt confused and he walked right out of the Entrance hall door, right into the night.

It was windy and raining heavily, and he was so cold already after taking a couple of steps but he couldn't stop. He felt like he was in a bubble made of the shock as he didn't really understand what had just happened. All he knew was that he'd done something very bad; he'd done something which couldn't ever be forgiven.  
Then he realised Potter might send him to Azkaban for this.  
It would be more likely, than not likely.

He walked on, the wind was slowing down his steps but he didn't mind. He didn't know where he was going but he didn't care. He walked past the lake and eventually came to the edge of a forest so he blindly went in; in the midst of the darkness and wet, rotting autumn leaves which made the ground slippery.

He'll send me to Azkaban, he thought.  
All he could hear inside his head was Potter's sobs and it felt so wrong.  
It all felt so wrong now, how could he have done it?

He tripped on a tree trunk he didn't notice but he didn't care; he simply kept walking.  
He was trying to escape although he had no place to go.  
There was no-one, no-one who could help him now.

He tripped again but this time he knew he didn't see the slippery, wet trunk because he was blinded by tears of desperation. He kept on going and finally he reached a meadow of some sort.

He walked right in the middle of it and looked around. He wasn't scared at the darkness; he wasn't scared of catching a disease because of the coldness. He wasn't scared of anything anymore, except maybe going to Azkaban a little bit.

He looked up at the sky, the dark grey rainclouds prevented him from seeing any stars or anything, and Potter's sobs echoed in his head.  
He shouldn't have done it, he thought, he shouldn't have touched Potter. He didn't know how much damage he'd done.

Now that he thought about it, he couldn't even remember how hard he'd pushed the fingers in; what if he'd done something serious, like broken something vital? Would it be possible to accidentally cause permanent damage, or enough to make Potter need treatment for it?  
He had absolutely no idea, since he had never thought about anything like that before.  
He knew blood was never a good thing, and that was what made him so worried.

Potter's sobs continued their desperate pleads in his head, he let himself drop on his knees on the muddy, wet grass. It was strange how Potter's voice had been muffled but now Draco could hear the words all clear in his head. He swallowed but his throat felt constricted.

He didn't care about the cold, nor the dirt, or anything else as he curled into a ball on the ground and finally started crying. "I'm sorry" he tried to tell the image of crying Potter in his head but Potter just kept crying, and so did he.

He howled in desperation and was suddenly missing his father awfully much. He wished he could go back in time, into that one specific day when his father had pulled him into his lap, even though he had insisted the whole summer Draco was too big to sit in anyone's lap.

He dived right into the memory, and could clearly see how his father sat in his study as Draco marched in. It was Saturday and Draco wasn't supposed to be at the manor but in school instead so his father had asked about that. Draco had demanded a new broom.  
His father had said, "I will buy you any broom you want if you can help me with this", so Draco had leaned over the book and started to explain his father about the Arithmancy and his father laughed at times, and then pulled Draco in his lap.  
"Is that how it works?" His father had asked as he wrapped an arm around Draco to keep the boy in place and not fall down from the knees. Draco turned enough to look his father in the eyes and said, "But of course that's how it works."  
Lucius raised his eyebrows a little and gave a curt smile, "If you're sure, then you must be right. You are such a clever boy after all."  
Draco smiled at him and after a moment of impatient movements he had managed to turn around completely to look at his father, who had to keep a firm hold of the boy's shoulders so he didn't fall down. "Of course I'm clever." Draco had declared and lifted his chin up a bit.  
"Indeed, you are, my son." His father confirmed before saying, "Now that you explained everything I need to know that awfully complicated book, I think I have enough time to go shopping with you. You truly deserve anything you want after that fine explanation."  
Draco had smiled a little at his father and even though Lucius had the whole summer been pushing Draco away if he tried to get close to him, he wanted to hug his father so bad he hastily wrapped his arms around his father's head and said, "Thank you, father, you're the best."

"Where are you now, huh?" He shouted as he kept weeping, he couldn't feel his fingers anymore since they were numb with the coldness, just like his toes and probably many other places as well, which he wasn't aware of.  
"Where are you now when I need you?" He yelled on the top of his lungs, and he kept weeping and gasping for breath.

He opened his eyes and looked at his fingers, which were lying on the ground, covered in mud, just like probably the rest of his body but he didn't care.  
The rain had long ago mixed into his tears and Potter's echoes were finally subsiding as the sadness was now directed to his father.  
If his father was here, then everything would be alright.  
He forgave his father everything right now; everything he had accused his father of inside his head since Lucius had died.

He tried to lull himself into some memories from his childhood; into the feelings of safety and warmth and into the feeling of being the centre of his parents' constant attention. He was so lonely right now. He had never felt this lonely, and he knew Potter would send him to Azkaban, and he would suffer a similar death his father had.

He cried until he was so numb he fell asleep, shivering and sad even as he lulled himself in the memories.

*****  
**Zinnia says**: What I listened to? Pretty much just _**Evereve – You're mine**_  
In the last scene I listened to _**Lostprophets – The Light That Burns Twice As Bright**__  
Also if you like anime and domination stuff, try Ai No Kusabi. _


	8. Scars can only form

**Zinnia says: Thanks for the reviews!**

Chapter 8 _**Scars can only form where there has been a bleeding wound**_

They were in divinations and Harry tried not to move on his chair. He was certain the pain would pass soon since the bleeding had stopped quite well before the morning. He'd only taken one painkilling potion and physically everything was as well as it could be in this situation.

He was grateful for whatever higher power there might've been which had arranged so that Draco Malfoy hadn't appeared on any of the classes, nor anywhere else today. He really didn't want to see him today, and not tomorrow, and if he could choose he didn't know if he ever wanted to see him again.

All the talk Malfoy had made about the mental scars could now be understood in a new light.  
There wasn't a scar though; there was a bleeding wound inside Harry's soul.  
Last night when he'd been shouting, the small scratch in his lower lip had ripped open and now he was certain there would always be left a scar there.  
He didn't want that scar anymore. He didn't need any physical sign of what had been done to him since there would always be scars somewhere inside him. He couldn't ask anyone to heal it right now though, he simply couldn't.

Harry still didn't understand Malfoy's behaviour although he'd been thinking about it constantly even before last night. It seemed to him like Malfoy had a switch in him and when you clicked the switch he suddenly turned from one person into another. He had never been scared of Malfoy but a person as unstable as that was a little unnerving.

Harry wondered if Malfoy had always been like that, just hiding his emotions so bottled up they would occasionally explode, or if Malfoy had changed, perhaps during the war. Or maybe the death of his parents had made him lose his mind. Harry really didn't know but he tried to find some reason for Malfoy's actions.

He knew he would be alright physically. It didn't matter nearly as much as how he felt on the inside. He got startled by the tiniest noises in the classrooms and heaven help him if someone accidentally touched him.  
It was almost like he was waiting for Malfoy to grab him, do that again, or something.

What made it all worse (and this was what made him bite his lower lip so he wouldn't start crying during the class) was that he had had a severe crush on Malfoy after what had been going on in Malfoy's bed the night before.

He could admit to himself now, he'd had the crush even before but during the last 24 hours it had become very serious and Harry's impossible imagination had created all kinds of stupid little fantasies of how wonderful it would be to be with Malfoy. How amazing it had felt when Malfoy had been talking to him all those dirty things the other night.  
It had been the closest thing to sex with a boy Harry had ever had.

What also hurt was the fact that because he'd had a crush, he'd been happy when Malfoy had showed up in his bed. He had thought it might mean they might do things occasionally, although he had thought Malfoy would leave right after because Malfoy had basically kicked him out the night before.  
He had thought maybe Malfoy wanted just sex, maybe like… sometimes… and just sex, nothing else, and it would've suited Harry just fine.

There was still something that was even more awful than anything else though. It made him feel so bad he could barely breathe if he thought about it.

It was the fact that Harry had wanted Malfoy, and he would've gladly given what Malfoy had taken if he'd asked for it.

If Malfoy only had said so much as a word, then Harry would've gladly done anything, anything Malfoy asked for.  
Instead Malfoy had done it in the wrong way, being violent, forcing Harry into it without listening and hurt him on purpose.

The infatuation on Malfoy died, as quickly as it had begun to blossom the night before.

It left Harry sad and feeling betrayed, not to mention a lot of other things like disappointed, embarrassed, used and broken.  
He also blamed himself because he didn't understand why Malfoy would do that. He blamed himself for thinking Malfoy had some sort of feelings for him too, which apparently had been a stupid thought since clearly Malfoy hated him nowadays even more than ever before.

"Mate, you okay?" Ron whispered.  
Harry nodded; he was biting his lower lip so hard the blood tasted in his mouth.  
He couldn't look at Ron but instead turned to stare outside the window, his eyes were filled with tears but they would dry up soon.  
It looked so beautiful outside today, and he felt so completely broken right now. How could've he simply forgotten what Malfoy was like and thought they might end up together and do wonderful things together. _God, I'm so stupid._

*****  
On Friday he was feeling nervous as he went to the lessons, he was constantly trying to brace himself for the fact Malfoy could show up anywhere at any moment.  
Malfoy didn't show up the whole day; not on the classes, in the Great Hall or anywhere else.

Harry felt mostly relieved.

*****  
During the weekend he spent a lot of time with Ron, trying to cheer up and forget what had happened that one night but his mind kept pulling him back at times, especially when he should've slept at nights.  
He kept biting his lip, and the shadows kept forming Malfoy's shape in the darkness, making him startled before he realised he'd imagined it all again. The feelings kept changing from relief to disappointment; and from sadness into self-hatred.

He sort of wished Malfoy would come to him, and would explain everything.  
He wished he had the courage to go to Malfoy and ask what his motifs had been, why couldn't he simply have been gentle and ask Harry to do things with him, instead of doing something so horrible Harry didn't know a good word for it. Was it called a rape when it was done by fingers?

Also Malfoy's voice and words kept coming back to him, and he hated himself as he almost missed Malfoy's touch which had been so nice before he'd snapped and it all had come falling down.  
Had he really lead Malfoy on somehow? If he had then did it make his fault and not Malfoy's? He didn't know.

When Monday came he had to face the reality as Malfoy appeared in the transfigurations class. Harry tried not to look at him, his heart was beating awfully hard, and he didn't know where he should look. Should he keep an eye on Malfoy, in case Malfoy decided to attack him in the middle of the day? Or should he avoid looking at him altogether, like he wanted to do?

He kept staring at his own hands on the desk, which were shaking and he felt cold with the fear. He didn't think he would ever fear Malfoy but he sort of did right now as he had no certainty what Malfoy would do if he hadn't tortured Harry enough. What if Malfoy wanted more, if all that had just been some sort of foreplay before the important scenes took place? If Malfoy would come after him, should Harry stun him or ask for an explanation?

He couldn't concentrate on any lessons as he knew Malfoy was there somewhere, somewhere in the back of the class, possibly watching Harry, possibly planning something bigger.  
Malfoy had succeeded to make Harry feel broken, so Harry thought maybe he had underestimated Malfoy and the animosity they had once had.

Nothing had changed, they were enemies again, and it was more personal and deeper this time.

Luckily Malfoy tried to make himself invisible by staying in the back of the class on every class, and coming in late so that Harry didn't really even notice him if he didn't turn to look at his direction. He glanced at Malfoy deliberately only once the whole day, and at that time Malfoy was staring at his desk with an empty look, and wasn't taking any notes or anything.

*****  
A couple of days later Harry was starting to feel a bit better, slowly, he knew it would take time for the inner wounds to heal. At least Malfoy had stayed as invisible as ever, so Harry did his best to pretend the boy didn't exist at all. He was also starting to get some sleep without nightmares, not every shadow looked like Malfoy, only every other one.  
He didn't know why but he felt a little disappointed.  
The adrenaline kicked in with every small shadow, and he felt like his body was expecting something to happen.

*****  
When the next weekend came he was starting to feel surprisingly normal as long as there didn't happen anything which could've reminded him of what had happened. Just as he had thought about this and smiled at notions that he might one day feel completely normal, Blaise Zabini called his name and Harry turned around.

Ron stayed by Harry's side as Zabini came closer and said, "Hi, can I have a talk with you?"

Harry clenched his jaw, he hadn't realised seeing Zabini might also remind him of Malfoy so he asked, "What about?"

Zabini glanced at Ron and then looked back at Harry, "Well… about… I'd like to talk with you in private."

For a fleeing moment Harry was afraid Zabini might know what had happened. He turned to look at Ron and said, "Can you wait for me…" he turned around and pointed at a painting not very far away, "…by that painting?"

Ron shrugged, "Sure."

Harry didn't want Ron to go very far in case this was some sort of a plan, if Malfoy had managed to get Zabini on his side somehow.

Harry clenched his jaw again, "What is it?"

Blaise shook his head a bit and his expression looked somehow defeated,  
"Harry, I hate to ask you this but… have you and Draco had a fight or something?"

Harry blinked in confusion. "Why are you asking this?" He asked frowning.

Blaise shrugged and looked a bit sad, "I just thought. I don't know… there's just… have you seen him? Draco, I mean, have you seen what he looks like?"

Harry didn't reply for a while, he simply stared, not knowing what sort of a meaning the question should've had,  
"I'm not sure I understand. He's been to the same classes so of course I've seen him. What does this have to do with me?"

This was a lie, he had done his best to not to look in Malfoy's direction and had managed better than one could even dream of. It was the easiest thing to do, act like Malfoy was air, even if Harry thought about him more than often.

Blaise sighed, "I'm not sure, I just thought…"

"You thought what?" Harry asked. Had Malfoy talked about him? Had Malfoy told what they'd done?

Blaise shook his head again and stayed quiet for what felt too long so Harry asked,  
"What did you think? I honestly haven't any clue what this is about."

The Slytherin looked uncomfortable; he was squirming under Harry's confused gaze,  
"I wasn't sure how close you two were. I mean, I thought you might've been trying to become friends or something so I assumed that… maybe you could explain why he's like that now."

A lot of this didn't make any sense to Harry since he hadn't seen Malfoy in days.

"We're not friends. Why did you think we are?" Harry asked when he couldn't think of anything else to say.  
Blaise shrugged once again, "I don't know, I just thought. Look, he doesn't really talk about things to me that much and… well, I've seen the way you guys were looking at each other a couple of weeks ago, when you were working with the potions assignment, so I thought you… anyway, I gotta go."

Having said that Zabini turned around and left. Harry stared after him for a moment before turning and going to Ron.  
He shook his head to Ron and muttered, "I have no idea what he was talking about, he didn't make any sense."

Ron raised his eyebrows, "What did he say then?"

Harry shrugged, "Nothing important, kept asking something about the potions assignment and asked if I were friends with…Malfoy."

Harry swallowed, the name had seemed to get stuck in his mouth, and it seemed to taint his lips.

*****  
Next Monday Harry had to take a look at the back of the class, he was curious to see what Zabini had been talking about.  
Indeed, Malfoy did look terrible. He was staring at his desk with an empty look, his shoulders shrunken. Zabini was clearly talking something to him but the blond boy looked like he didn't even hear. He looked like he hadn't slept or eaten, and in every way he looked like he was… dead.  
Harry swallowed.  
Now that he saw the blond haired boy, he felt a faint burn inside him. The feelings hadn't died completely.  
He missed Malfoy, even after all that had happened.

*****  
Draco was leaning on the glass; the raindrops were slamming against it with force as there was a stormy night ahead.  
He felt completely numb; the pain of the loneliness was away now but it would soon come back. He used to love Scotland, and the stormy nights, and right now he didn't care for that either. Because nothing mattered anymore.

Right at that moment he heard a small noise and it made him turn his head and stare at the stairs, where no other than Harry Potter himself stood but he wasn't looking in Draco's direction.

Of course Potter wouldn't look at him because Draco had become invisible. He had stopped existing that night on the meadow.

He had tried to hurt Potter that night, and it had backfired (like things always seemed to do if you tried to hurt Harry Potter) and he had realised he'd actually hurt himself, possibly even more than Potter.

Ever since he'd woken up in the infirmary where he'd been taken after they'd found him in the meadow sleeping the next day, he hadn't thought about anything else than what he'd done and how he couldn't live with himself anymore.

The hallucinations of Potter when he'd been in the infirmary for a couple of days with high fever, the guilt, Potter's word and voice in his head – those made him want to die.

He thought he might be insane but it didn't matter.  
There was nothing for him in this world and as Potter hadn't even looked at him ever since, he'd known he'd become invisible.  
Potter had been the centre of his attention, all that mattered to Draco, and now that he didn't exist to Potter, he didn't exist at all.

The loneliness was constantly wrapping its arms around Draco; choking him, whispering in his ears and ripping him apart, but mostly just choking him so hard he had trouble breathing.

He wished Potter would see him; look at him even once.

The Gryffindor looked cautious, Draco could see how tightly Potter's fist was clenched around his wand and everything about the Gryffindor was tense – with anger, hate or fear?  
That Draco didn't know.

Draco didn't move or breathe, as he watched Potter come to the last step of the stairs and stop there.  
Why did he stop? Potter stayed absolutely still, just like Draco, and the raindrops against the window sounded loud like curses hitting their target.

The pain was back now, possibly worse than ever. Draco wanted to jump down from the window sill and go to Potter, beg for forgiveness but he couldn't move; he was too afraid of his reaction.

_What if he doesn't see me? What if I'm really dead and invisible and he can't see me? _He thought but knew what he was really scared of - rejection.

When it became clear Potter was simply standing there, Draco couldn't take it; he needed to say it although he didn't know how to use his vocal cords anymore now that he hadn't said a word since that night.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and he could see in Potter's jaw the Gryffindor heard him although it was just a whisper.

Potter turned slowly around, not even glancing at Draco's direction and started going back up the stairs. Draco dropped down from the window sill and walked to the stairs and his voice came out like a desperate whine, "I'm sorry."

He bit his lower lip and wished it would never heal, as the tears felt burning hot, running down his cheeks. Potter stopped but all he said was,

"Don't come near me."

Draco tried to breathe; he was shaking and he repeated, "I'm sorry."

It was all he could say; it was the only thing on his mind, he needed to say that, he needed to have Potter look at him.  
He was sort of relieved that Potter knew he existed, that meant Draco was still alive although he didn't know if he wanted that.  
He thought he might rather like dying right now; the pain was ripping his insides into pieces.

The tears were drip dropping on the floor from his chin and he said, "Potter, I'm sorry."

His voice sounded unfamiliar to himself, it was high pitched as he could hardly breathe; something was choking him.  
Potter left without saying anything and Draco wanted to shout but his voice didn't obey him at all, so he whispered, "I'm so sorry." He knew Potter didn't hear that.

He turned around and walked down on the first floor and although Madam Pomfrey had told him not to, he stepped out into the stormy night.  
He didn't know where he was going; the pain inside him was so big he thought he might die on it any minute.  
The burning, choking loneliness; and the knowledge Potter ignored him completely.

It was dark, and the ground was wet, soaking his fine shoes. He heard a sound but didn't have time to even turn his head before he was being hit with a spell and he fell face down on the ground.

*****  
When Draco woke up he was disoriented and tried to move. His body hurt and it was pitch black. He realised he couldn't feel or move his left arm, and his right hand hit something hard on his right side.  
He placed his hand on it, ran fingers along the material, analysing it. He knocked it a bit; it was wood and as he moved his hand up, he met another wall there.

He shouted, his voice was somehow condensed and there was no echo at all, and he realised he must be in a coffin as he kicked around a bit. It was certainly a narrow, wooden box he was lying in.  
_I'm in a coffin, am I dead?_

"I'm alive!" He shouted as he thought someone must've thought he was dead and buried him.  
He swallowed hard as he thought maybe he'd been unconscious so long that people had thought he was dead and had buried him.

He wondered whether anyone had cried in his funeral. He wondered if Potter had been in his funeral. He shouted as hard as he could but it turned into weeping. Someone had probably tried to murder him; that someone who had hit him with a spell.


	9. Dead soul

Zinnia says: Poor Draco, I'm so sorry for him. I have no idea how I can be this cruel again. When I write the next story after this I promise I'll be gentle with him.

Chapter 9 _**Dead soul**_

Harry kept wandering around for a while; he was too upset to go back to bed.  
It hadn't been a coincidence he'd seen Malfoy, as Harry had first looked at him on Marauder's map trying to decide whether he should go and see him or not.

He had debated with himself all the way down but he knew he couldn't talk with the Slytherin.  
He simply needed a confirmation the boy was still alive.

As he'd gotten there, he didn't even have the courage to look at Malfoy, although Malfoy's voice had aroused an unrealistic longing inside him.  
He missed Malfoy so bad, he tried hard not to but he did.

He knew he should hate Malfoy for what had happened but he simply couldn't. Especially as the boy had said he was sorry; his voice made Harry's insides ache. He really didn't know what to do about Malfoy.  
Also Malfoy had looked so sad and pathetic the last time he'd taken a look at him; it was really difficult not to feel something towards him.

As he wandered around the castle he suddenly heard hurried footsteps and peeked around the corner. Several Professors were appearing from all directions, including the head mistress McGonagall. Harry could hear their worried voices as they were clearly talking about some unfamiliar persons being outside of the castle.

He heard someone mutter how Draco Malfoy had been out at nights.  
That suddenly made Harry realise he had heard Malfoy going down the stairs even as he had never looked back.  
He wondered whether the Slytherin had gone back to Slytherin dungeon or whether he might've gone outside. Harry hoped he hadn't.

The teachers seemed to have formed some sort of plan as they all started marching down the stairs. Harry followed them silently from a distance but in the end he was standing at the door and gazing into the stormy night.

The teachers spread out in different directions and there were no unfamiliar persons anywhere so Harry clenched his jaw and stepped outside.

The rain and wind were trying to force him back inside but he couldn't go inside before he'd know if Malfoy was outside or not.

He had no idea which direction he should go so he simply took off after where he thought Slughorn had gone.

He had taken only about ten steps when he felt a faint pull of magic on his wand and he turned around a couple of times trying to locate where the pulling was coming from.

Even in the windy rain he could see a stick standing upright on the ground and in an instant knew it was Malfoy's wand.  
The magic was pulling him as he walked to the wand.

This wasn't a good sign. Malfoy's wand was here, and the Slytherin wasn't.

Harry thought about shouting to the others but then remembered the tracing charm they'd done about a month ago and performed it on Malfoy's wand.

It started floating in the air and Harry followed it until he reached an enormous shrubbery.

The wand floated right inside it so Harry tried to pull the braches away enough to get in.  
The shrubbery had seemed so airtight on the outside, so thick, but now that he got through the dense part (and got soaked by the wet leaves) he was suddenly on a tiny expanse and in the middle of it laid a black wooden coffin.

He stopped breathing, and could feel how his heart suddenly started beating way too fast.

Malfoy's wand was impatiently knocking on the lid until Harry finished the spell and grabbed the wand.  
He swallowed, his throat felt tight.  
Malfoy was in a coffin.

If the boy was dead and Harry would get the lid open, then how would Harry ever get the sight off of his retinas?

There was clearly something carved on the lid so he pointed his wand at the coffin and muttered, "_Lumos_."

A carved text with silver letters appeared on the surface, it said, "_Here sleeps the son of Lucius Malfoy, a Death Eater_"

_No, Don't be dead, please don't be dead, _Harry thought.

Harry clenched his jaw and tried to pull the lid open but of course it had been locked with a spell.

_I don't want things to end like this, you can't be dead. _He swallowed but it was painful.

_"Alohomora_," He whispered, fearing for it not to work but it did, and he pulled the lid open.

Harry's eyes widened as he was now staring into Draco Malfoy's night dark eyes, and half of the boy's face was covered in blood, and so was some of his blond hair which looked mostly white even here in the semi-darkness.  
Malfoy blinked and asked with a hoarse voice,

"Can you see me? Am I dead? Am I a ghost?"

Harry smiled suddenly, mostly in relief, and offered his hand to the Slytherin as he answered,  
"I think you're very much alive. Now let's go."

Malfoy grabbed Harry's hand and Harry had to pull him hard to get him upright and out of the wooden box.  
Malfoy staggered and didn't let go of Harry's hand, he said,

"I'm so sorry for what I did."

Harry offered Malfoy's wand back at him, and really didn't want to think about what Malfoy was talking about right now so he said,  
"Yeah. We need to go, come on. Are you okay?"

He didn't even try to pull his hand free from Malfoy's grip as he pushed through the branches and Malfoy followed him, making pained whines as some branches hit him.

"I'm alright, I think. Except I can't move or feel my left arm at all and I feel a bit funny."

Harry glanced at the blond boy and they both looked at Malfoy's left arm but it was covered with the sleeve and they didn't stop to analyse it, instead they walked towards the castle and Malfoy was still holding Harry's hand tightly.

It felt odd, Harry thought. He wasn't scared of Malfoy at all right now, not at all, and he couldn't remember how he ever could've been. The strongest thing he felt was relief.

"I'm sorry for what I did." Malfoy said once again, and Harry could see in his peripheral vision the boy was watching him.

He didn't stop although he felt the small pull Malfoy's hand was making.

Although they'd worked with the potion only for like a couple of weeks, still Harry felt weird right now, he almost felt like he was with a friend, someone very familiar, and he had never thought he might feel that way towards Draco Malfoy. He couldn't understand how he could feel that way right now when his rational mind tried to remind him who he was with.

"I don't want to talk about it right now. Let's get you to Madam Pomfrey." Harry replied firmly.

When they were by the door, Harry could see Professor McGonagall at the edge of the forest, and he shouted,  
"Professor McGonagall!"

The Scottish woman turned towards them and pretty much ran to them and asked,  
"What on Merlin's name are you boys doing here in the middle of the storm?"

"Someone attacked me." Malfoy muttered.  
Harry wondered how obvious that was as the Slytherin's face was still covered in blood.

McGonagall seemed a bit angry, her tone was louder than usual,  
"Mr. Malfoy, hasn't anyone told you to stay inside and not to go out in the middle of the night?"

Harry wasn't sure if he just imagined it but he thought Malfoy's fingers were clutching his even harder now.  
Harry said, "I'll take him to Madam Pomfrey. What's going on here anyway?"

He took a look around; mostly to express the fact he knew there were several teachers somewhere outside.

He wasn't sure but he thought McGonagall's eyebrows were raised higher than usual as her look seemed to shift from the Gryffindor to the Slytherin and back again.  
Harry clenched his jaw and tried to pull his hand free but Malfoy didn't let go.

"A teacher saw from a window there was a stranger walking around the grounds so we had to come and see what's going on. What we didn't know was that there would actually be a student outside." McGonagall's tone was disapproving and it made Harry repeat,

"I'll take him to Madam Pomfrey." Having said that he turned around and started pulling Malfoy along, who apparently was glad to get out of the situation.

As they were nearing the infirmary, Malfoy started once again apologising, "You have no idea how sorry I am."

Harry almost snapped, "Look, I said I don't want to talk about it now."

Madam Pomfrey was tidying up a closet as they got in and she seemed almost pleased to get a patient.

"There's something wrong with my arm." Malfoy said and let Madam Pomfrey lead him to a bed. Malfoy dragged Harry along although Harry tried to get his hand free from the grip.

Finally Harry said, "You can let go now."  
Malfoy's expression changed, his eyes widened almost like in panic and he said, "No, don't go."

"I'm not leaving!" Harry snapped and pulled his hand free with force.  
Malfoy bit his lower lip and Madam Pomfrey pulled his sleeve away to reveal what looked like a bite mark on Malfoy's wrist.

"Oh dear," She said, "This doesn't look promising. I need you to stay here over night. I think you should lie down and I'll get you a potion."

She left to fetch the potion but Malfoy seemed nervous, "Potter, please don't go."

Harry didn't say anything but he looked Malfoy in the eyes and wondered why the boy seemed so full of held back emotions.  
He could see how much there was going on behind the steel grey eyes.

"Drink this," Madam Pomfrey said as she came back but Malfoy didn't take the bottle from her hand.  
Then she turned to look at Harry, "I think you should go so that Mr. Malfoy gets some rest."

Malfoy's voice was sharp as he shouted, "No! Don't take him away from me! Don't you dare to take him away!"

Madam Pomfrey frowned as Malfoy narrowed his eyes to her.  
She looked at Malfoy strongly,  
"Listen to me boy. You're going to drink that potion now and then you will calm down so that I can take a look at what's wrong with you. Drink up, and in the meanwhile I'll have a word with Mr. Potter. I will not take him away from you, alright?"

Malfoy glared at her angrily but Harry started to walk towards the door already, and that made Malfoy plead with a desperate voice,  
"Don't go. Please don't leave me alone!"

Harry frowned a little. The tone and the words felt so unfamiliar when they were coming from Draco Malfoy's mouth.

"I'll just have a quick word with her and then I'll come back, okay?" He promised.

Malfoy looked at Madam Pomfrey, who was glaring at the boy, and with her look insisting he'd drink the potion, which he finally did and his voice was a lot quieter as he muttered to Madam Pomfrey,  
"You don't understand. I don't have anyone. Don't you know my parents are dead and he's my only friend? Don't take him away from me."

Harry frowned at that too and quietly left the room to wait for Madam Pomfrey, who followed him soon after.

Madam Pomfrey looked thoughtful so Harry asked, "Is he usually like that when he's in here?"

The nurse shook her dead and muttered,  
"No. He usually whines a lot even with smaller wounds but he never talks about anything personal."

Harry clenched his jaw and swallowed hard, "So there's something wrong with him, isn't there?"

Madam Pomfrey replied, "I'm going to find that out shortly after he's fallen asleep and I get to examine him properly."

Harry dropped his gaze to the floor and asked, "Do you know if he'll be okay? That can't be anything serious, can it?"

He didn't want Malfoy to die, he needed to talk about what that had happened, he needed to talk with Malfoy to come in terms with the things and his own feelings.

The woman shrugged and said, "You shouldn't be worrying about that, dear. He was awake when he got here and that's usually a good sign. You should go to bed now, and then you can come back tomorrow to see how he's doing."

Harry looked at her in the face and said with a firm voice, "I promised him I'd go back. I said I wouldn't leave."

Madam Pomfrey sighed and gave a sad smile, "Harry dear, he's already asleep and he will stay that way at least until I've examined him. I'll tell him you'll be back soon when he wakes up."

Harry didn't want to go, "So you gave him a sleeping draught. Will that keep him asleep throughout the night?"

"The potion will last for a couple of hours but usually the patients sleep until morning after that. Goodnight Mr. Potter."

Having said that she turned around and went back in, Harry tried to peek into the room and he could see the blond Slytherin sleeping peacefully and he was glad Madam Pomfrey had already had time to do some healing spells since there wasn't any blood on Malfoy's face.

He left and he didn't even have to think about it, it was perfectly clear; he would go back after a couple of hours, after Madam Pomfrey had gone to sleep and while Malfoy was still asleep.

*****  
He did exactly that although it took him a while to get the infirmary door open since a casual alohomora didn't have any effect on it.

Once he was inside he realised it wasn't raining outside, it was turning into a snow storm and the white wet flakes were slamming into the windows.  
He walked to Malfoy's bed and pulled the invisibility cloak off. Malfoy breathed evenly deep in sleep, and Harry liked him that way.

He was glad Pomfrey had left a small night light on in one of the bedside tables so it wasn't completely dark in there, it felt a little cosier this way.

Harry looked at Malfoy, Pomfrey had apparently changed his clothes since now he was wearing a light blue, loose robe. What would Malfoy think about that when he woke up?  
Harry could imagine all the shouts of distaste and he smiled a little.

The sleeves were so loose Harry could easily pull the left one up a bit to see the bite mark wound. It looked infected and ugly. Were those human teeth marks or a monster's?  
He had absolutely no idea.

He noticed something else too as he let his eyes run on Malfoy's skin. Malfoy's nails were extremely short, he had clearly been biting them; some of them were bitten until the flesh had worn off at places, also the cuticles looked pretty awful. Harry grimaced at that.

He had never thought Malfoy to be a person who bit his nails, in fact he'd never seen Malfoy do that so it must've been a fairly new habit, he thought.

Out of curiosity he pulled up the sleeve a little more (he had the right to do that since after what Malfoy had done to him, this was nothing) and took a look at the former dark mark. It was dark but it seemed to have some sort of red, faint glow.

Harry frowned. Was that normal? Maybe he could ask Malfoy tomorrow what the mark usually looked like.

He didn't dare to touch the mark or the bite but he felt like touching Malfoy so he walked around the bed to get to his right side and he looked at his right hand. The nails were badly bitten there too.  
He pulled the sleeve up a bit and was about to place his hands there, on the soft looking milky white wrist when he noticed a cut a bit higher in the arm. He frowned as he pulled the sleeve even more up to reveal Malfoy's elbow and then up until the shoulder was uncovered too.

There were several cuts that looked almost like they've been done with a knife. Harry gasped and he stared at Malfoy's sleeping face.

He whispered to the sleeping Slytherin, "Is someone hurting you?"

Then he sat on the edge of the bed and grabbed Malfoy's hand and pulled the whole arm into his lap. He looked at the cuts and traced his finger on one of them. A whole other idea came to his mind as he stared at the cuts and the bitten fingernails, he turned to look at the boy again and whispered,  
"Or did you do this to yourself?"

The sleeping Slytherin didn't answer. Harry frowned as he looked at his calm, relaxed expression. The bruise on Malfoy's lower lip still hadn't healed properly and it looked almost identical with the one on Harry's lip.

Harry whispered to him, "I think I must really like you since I still can't hate you, no matter what you did to me."  
He swallowed and waited for an answer, which of course didn't come so he whispered,  
"And I miss you, I think about you constantly, I can't help it."

With some hesitation he reached his hand out and touched Malfoy's hair. It felt so soft; he stroked it several times and left his hand there, on Malfoy's hair.  
Then after a moment of thinking he placed his thumb on Malfoy's cheek bone and traced it. Malfoy was beautiful, even when he looked tired and miserable.

Suddenly Malfoy's eyes opened slowly and Harry pulled his hand away hastily.  
Malfoy frowned a little, clearly disoriented and closed his eyes for a moment before he opened them up again and asked with a slurred voice,

"Am I dreaming?"

Harry smiled a little; Malfoy looked funny when he was all sleepy.

"No, you're not dreaming."

Malfoy looked at him with tired eyes and took a deep, sleepy breath before yawning. Then he asked,

"Have you been here the whole time?"

Harry shook his head a little and said with a quiet, low voice,  
"No, she forced me to go so I came back after I thought she'd gone to bed."

Malfoy stretched a little so that his arm, which was still on Harry's lap, straightened and then he let his fingers rest against Harry's hip.  
Harry felt suddenly a little nervous as he realised it had happened again; he had forgotten what Malfoy was like.  
This was the same boy who had done horrible things to him, and here he sat staring at him out of his own free will.

Malfoy turned his head, and gazed frowning at his left arm and the bite mark there.

"Why can't I move my left hand?" He asked quietly.

Harry looked at the arm too and muttered,  
"I don't know but I'm sure Madam Pomfrey will tell us tomorrow. It's probably nothing to be worried about."

He swallowed because he was a bit nervous, he had no idea how serious Malfoy's condition was but he felt like there was no reason to let the boy get worried at this time of the night.  
Harry came up with a good change of topic,

"Did you do these?" He pointed at the cuts on Malfoy's arm.  
Malfoy tried to pull his arm away but it was useless as Harry grabbed it and Malfoy only had one moving hand so he was on the losing side and gave up quickly, letting his arm drop on Harry's lap.

The Slytherin didn't answer so Harry stared at his expression but the way Malfoy was avoiding his eyes was telling something.

"So you did this. Why would you do something like that?"

Malfoy's eyes were firmly fixed on the blanket so Harry said with a soft voice,

"Look at me."

Malfoy took a deep breath but lifted his chin up a bit and bit his lip as their eyes met.  
Harry read his look for a moment before asking again,

"Tell me why?"

Malfoy bit his lip a bit harder; Harry could see how his teeth were pressing into the broken skin. Harry watched and waited until the boy whispered,

"Because I feel bad."

Well it should've been obvious, Harry thought, but he honestly hoped Malfoy would've answered something else; like that he needed blood in some potions experiment or something, anything else than self-harm.

"About your parents?" Harry asked, fearing he might be crossing some line between them, and fearing Malfoy would suddenly become angry. Malfoy didn't, instead he bit his lip even harder and took a deep breath.

The Slytherin whispered, "About what I did to you."

Harry swallowed and a big lump seemed to form in his throat as he watched Malfoy's eyes fill with tears. He couldn't look at it so he turned his head and gazed at the floor.

There were two emotions fighting inside Harry's mind; the terrible, painful longing was wrestling with the rational thought which insisted Harry shouldn't feel anything towards Malfoy.

After a moment's silence Malfoy whispered, "I'll do anything if you forgive me."

These words coming from Malfoy's lips sounded so unfamiliar, Harry didn't know what to believe. He wanted to believe Malfoy was sorry. He didn't want to even consider this could've been an elaborate lie to lure Harry into some trap.  
He wanted to forgive him but he couldn't.

Harry closed his eyes and thought about what he should say but Malfoy saved him from it by whispering,  
"I knew it. I know you can't ever forgive me."

Malfoy pulled his arm away from Harry's lap and that made the Gryffindor's eyes open.  
He turned to look at the Slytherin, who now wrapped his arm across his chest in a protective manner.

Harry said in a low voice, "Look, I don't know if I can, not right now at least but I think we could… have a talk when you get out of here."

Malfoy raised his eyes from the blanket and looked into Harry's. The Slytherin looked so sad Harry felt bad for him.

"Okay." Malfoy whispered. Harry kept watching him and then he whispered,  
"But you need to stop doing that." He let his gaze shift into Malfoy's arm to express what exactly he disapproved.

When Malfoy didn't' say anything he looked back in the grey eyes and repeated, "Promise me you'll stop doing that."

"Alright, if that's what you want." Malfoy whispered, he had left his lower lip in peace.

Harry felt like he should go now but he couldn't, not when Malfoy was looking like that, so miserable, like a ragdoll.

"I should go." he whispered and watched Malfoy swallow. He was waiting for the boy to beg him not to go, like he'd done earlier but he didn't.  
Malfoy didn't reply anything and Harry couldn't get himself moving so they sat silently watching each other for a long moment. He felt like giving Malfoy a hug but didn't know how to initiate it because it was Draco Malfoy and Harry didn't know what they were to each other so instead he suddenly asked,

"May I heal them?" He looked at Malfoy's arm again.

Malfoy muttered, "I've told you, I don't like people doing spells on me."

"Alright." Harry answered in defeat.

"But you could try to heal one and I'll see if you're good enough to heal the rest." Malfoy said.

Harry glanced at the blond boy and then pulled his wand out, placed it gently on Malfoy's right arm and muttered the healing spell. The cut healed nicely, no scar or anything left.

Harry tried to smile a little, "Is that good enough?"

Malfoy shrugged and raised his chin a little. Harry enjoyed the manner because it reminded him of what Malfoy used to be like, and he almost preferred any cockiness or smugness rather than this silent, sensitive shadow of the boy he used to be long time ago.

Harry didn't ask for permission but placed his wand on the next cut and looked at Malfoy questioningly. When Malfoy didn't react in any way but kept watching Harry blankly, Harry healed another one, and then one more, until a while later he had healed the whole arm.

Harry smiled and said, "Looks a lot better now, I must say."

Malfoy didn't smile back but whispered, "Good."

"Does that feel alright?" Harry asked concerned as Malfoy seemed so ignorant to the whole healing thing.

"Yes." Malfoy whispered. The way he looked, and the way he whispered, there was something so unbearably sensitive and frail about him that Harry couldn't take it anymore, he really needed to hug him before he would be able to leave anywhere.

He suddenly started to wonder what was wrong with Malfoy's arm. What if it was something serious and Malfoy would have to stay here a long time? Or what if it was something so serious Malfoy could get killed by it?

Harry had absolutely no idea what Malfoy's physical condition was, he could only see how much the Slytherin was suffering on the inside. No matter how much Malfoy had hurt Harry, he still didn't want to see Malfoy looking like that.

"Come here," Harry whispered softly. Malfoy looked at Harry with a blank expression and clearly had no idea what Harry meant so Harry pulled his arm gently, and finally Malfoy did sit up in the bed, letting Harry wrap his arms around him.

Malfoy dropped his forehead gently on Harry's shoulder and let his right arm snake around Harry but only loosely, as if making sure Harry could leave the embrace if he chose so.

Harry took a deep breath and relaxed. Malfoy felt so weak and fragile it was difficult to remember this same boy had been so cruel. Harry's feelings were filled with contrasts; on one hand he felt sorry for Malfoy, the Slytherin felt so very small right now, like an abandoned child, and on the other hand Malfoy had done something unforgettable and unforgivable; he was totally unpredictable with his temper.

"Potter" Malfoy muttered against his shoulder. Harry breathed in Malfoy's neck, recognised the scent and whispered,

"What?" He let his fingers stroke Malfoy's back gently. He had never thought he would like holding someone like that but he did.

The Slytherin was quiet for a moment, clearly hesitating whether he should say what he was thinking or not.  
Finally Malfoy tilted his head a bit, so he could whisper right in Harry's ear, like it was the biggest secret ever,  
"I'm lonely."

Harry could feel Malfoy's Adam's apple move as the boy swallowed painfully hard. Of course he would be lonely; his family was dead.

Harry tightened his hold of the boy and whispered, "I know" although he didn't know.  
He hadn't really observed Malfoy's life that closely during the autumn.  
Of course Harry had noticed that Malfoy lacked friends, and most people left him alone even if they secretly thought about kicking some Slytherin arse.

It was clear to him now that he had not seen how lonely Malfoy exactly felt, it must be very serious if the blond admitted it aloud, Harry thought.

So he wrapped his arm around the warm body a bit tighter and pressed his nose on Malfoy's neck, under his ear, and the blond short hair there tickled Harry's nose.  
He stroked Malfoy's back gently and smiled a little as Malfoy seemed to bury himself deeper against Harry.

So easy it was; again to completely forget everything that had been going on before this.  
Harry couldn't even hear the wet snow hitting the windows.  
He couldn't remember he had never hugged Malfoy like this before in his entire life. He couldn't remember they weren't friends because right now all he could think of was that Malfoy was very sad, lonely, and was tangling his fingers on Harry's shirt, and it felt good, comforting.  
The longing he'd felt was ebbing away.

He felt relaxed as he finally forced himself to pull apart, knowing there was a big amount of things to solve between them as soon as Malfoy would get out. IF Malfoy would get out, and didn't die of the curse or whatever on his left arm.

Harry missed the warmth as he let Malfoy reluctantly pull his arm away and he met Harry's eyes only briefly as Harry whispered,  
"I'll come and check up on you tomorrow morning."

Malfoy nodded but didn't say anything so Harry got up and picked up his invisibility cloak from the chair and said silently goodnight as he walked to the door and glanced at Malfoy one last time before stepping out.

He felt empty and hollow as he walked back to the Gryffindor tower. He almost wished he could've stayed there with Malfoy but he also knew he should think rationally and not just do what his stupid feelings were suggesting.  
If he had been more careful before, if he'd thought about things rationally all along then maybe that one awful incident hadn't taken place at all.

He knew this was the right decision; he would have to sort things out with Malfoy, and that would be his number one priority, and after that he would see if he would be able to forgive Malfoy. If he would be able to do that, then there would be a lot of more talking ahead because Harry really didn't know what he wanted from Malfoy and he had absolutely no idea what Malfoy wanted from him.  
One thing was certain; Malfoy was sorry about what he'd done, he was clearly regretting and Harry would hear out why the boy had done that in the first place. Harry would think of a way to forget what had happened.

It was difficult to think rationally when Harry tried to sleep and all he could think of was how Malfoy had hugged him, and that one single thought of an abandoned child kept forcing itself in Harry's mind. It was so difficult to hate Malfoy, or even despise him in any way when Harry felt like taking care of him.  
He knew that was stupid, he knew he was getting a bit too emotional about everything but still… Malfoy could've died tonight if Harry hadn't found him. It was obvious that whoever had thrown Malfoy in the coffin had thought he would die in there.

The whole thing was somehow vague; why on earth would anyone attack Malfoy on the school grounds and stuff him inside some shrubbery? Had the plan gotten wrong somehow?  
Harry hadn't even asked Malfoy anything about the attack because he'd been all too confused about Malfoy's self-harm and the things that had happened between them before.

Finally Harry fell asleep and saw restless dreams, where Malfoy was half the time very sad and pathetic, and in the others he snapped and was aggressive.


	10. Late Autumn Sun

Chapter 10 _**Late Autumn Sun**_

Draco had been awake for a while now. He kept glancing at his both arms, desperately trying to clench his fingers on his left hand which still refused to take orders from him, and the right arm that was now completely healed thanks to Potter.

He was concerned for his left arm, the faint Dark Mark had looked suspicious during the night and he had no idea what that meant. He was worried his left hand would be permanently paralysed and he barely dared to breathe as Madam Pomfrey came to see him and started explaining her results of examination,

"Did you sleep well?" The nurse enquired.

Draco nodded; he was impatient to know what was wrong with him.

"So I examined your wound and it seems to me that there was an old curse laid upon you. I suspect the person had meant the curse to be deadly but you are very lucky, my dear."

Draco's throat was dry and his voice was hoarse, "What happens to my arm?"

Madam Pomfrey smiled calmly, "Your arm will hopefully be fine. As I said, you are very lucky. The curse that was used is so old that there isn't any knowledge about an antidote, or how to stop the poison from spreading all over the victim's body but to me it seems that your Dark Mark has had some sort of a charm planted in it which stopped the poison from spreading. Some of the poison might've slipped through it, as I thought you were being exceptionally unbalanced emotionally last night but to me it seems like the Dark Mark has dissolved most of the poison and your left arm is only temporarily out of function as some of the poison has not yet dissolved. It is in my greatest hopes that you will be as whole as before when you leave here. How does that all sound?"

Draco released a relieved sigh, "That sounds… promising. How long do I have to say here?"

The woman shrugged a little, "Well I thought it would be in your interest to stay here until your arm has recovered completely. I should hope it won't take more than a day or two. If it hasn't recovered in the next few days, then I might have to start looking for a new solution."

Draco nodded, "Okay, that would be alright."

Madam Pomfrey simply smiled and right then Potter opened the door and stepped in. Madam Pomfrey turned to look at Potter and smiled,  
"Good morning, Mr. Potter. Do come in, dear. I'll be on my way now."

Having said that she marched away leaving Draco in a weird, uncomfortable silence with Potter.

Potter walked silently beside Draco's bed and asked, "How are you feeling?"

Draco shrugged, he felt uncomfortable and nervous, and he also felt ashamed by how he had reacted last light when Potter had saved him from the coffin.  
He could remember the things he'd been shouting, about how Potter is his only friend and whatever; he wished he could take it back. Everything he'd said was true but Potter really didn't need to know all that.

"Did she find out what's wrong with your arm?" Potter asked with a calm voice.  
Draco looked at him and then his injured arm, the bugger still refused to take any orders from Draco.

"Yes. Apparently the Dark Mark saved my life. She thinks I might be alright in a couple of days or sooner." Draco muttered.

He looked at Potter, who was wearing a dark green t-shirt and muggle like blue jeans. The colours suited Potter and as the sun was rising outside, the light made Potter's eyes stand out behind the glasses.  
Draco liked the way Potter's unruly hair always looked like the boy had just had wild sex in the broom closet. Potter looked very shaggable and nice, and made Draco feel like there was a snitch fluttering inside him.

"The Dark Mark saved you?" Potter asked and frowned a little.

Draco raised his chin a bit in defiance; he really didn't need Potter to remind him of his life before the war and all that. Draco had spent a lot of time trying not to think about any of that. Draco sounded like he knew everything about what was going on as he said,

"Yes, it stopped the mysterious poison from spreading and my arm should be fully recovered soon."

Potter gave a weak, hesitant smile and muttered, "Good. I'm happy to hear that."  
Then he hesitantly sat on the edge of Draco's bed and asked, "How are you feeling otherwise?"

Draco sighed and muttered, "Alright, I guess."

Potter's eyes were running along Draco's arms and when he met Draco's eyes he asked, "Did you know the person who attacked you?"

Draco shook his head and said, "I have no idea, I didn't see anyone. I just felt a spell hit me; I fell and lost my consciousness. When I woke up I was in the… coffin."

He swallowed and tried not to think about the coffin, it was hard to believe he was still alive.

Potter frowned a little, "Do you have any idea who might want to do something like that to you?"

Draco shook his head again, "No but I don't understand the whole thing. Why did they leave me on the school grounds? How did you find me?"

Potter glanced at Draco's wand that was on the bedside table, "I was wondering the same thing and I assume whoever it was got scared away as the teachers came out and started to look for them. And I found you because I found your wand and made a tracking spell on it."

Potter looked at Draco and smiled a little. The smile made the snitch somewhere inside Draco flutter fiercely, he felt like jumping all over Potter and kiss him and touch him, all he managed to say was,  
"You saved me. Thank you."

Potter's smile got a little bigger, "You should thank your wand too. I think it called me somehow."

"It did?" Draco's voice was higher than usually and he glared at his wand. How dare his wand be all over Potter too, this was unbearable.  
Why couldn't Draco just forget Potter and try to concentrate on something else.

Potter would never forgive him, Potter was probably just happy because he surely knew how Draco felt about him. Draco wondered whether Potter could see it, was it shining through Draco's eyes, revealing everything, telling Potter all kinds of things which Draco left unsaid?

He still wanted Potter. No matter what he'd done, no matter if Potter never forgave him. He wanted Potter and he would pine away if he wouldn't get him.  
Potter was the only thing that made him feel alright and made him feel his life was worth living – which it really wasn't! But Potter made it all seem fine somehow.

Potter made the loneliness disappear so efficiently Draco felt horrible all the time when Potter wasn't around and talking to him.  
If Draco only got Potter all to himself, then he would be happy and never complain about anything ever again.  
If Potter would eventually reject him, or mock him for his feelings, then Draco would let himself die, he wouldn't care about living if he didn't get Potter.

He tried to push the thoughts away from his head and muttered, "Well my wand must like you very much then."

Potter blushed and turned his head away. It made Draco smile before he understood Potter must've been thinking about something else than the wand on the bedside table.

It made Draco swallow and mutter, "When can we talk?"

He didn't know if he wanted to talk about what had happened between them but he really wanted to be with Potter, if it meant talking and solving things then so be it.

"I'd rather talk when you get out of here." Potter answered.

Draco knew that already but he wanted Potter to stay here and he feared Potter might only return after Draco was better.  
What if Draco had to spend days in here without Potter? No, he didn't like the idea at all.  
He almost started to bite his fingernails but Potter gave him a glare so Draco dropped his hand back on the blanket.

"Fine. Although I think we could talk while I'm here since I have absolutely nothing else to do right now." Draco muttered.

Potter looked at him for a while, Draco felt like wrapping his arm around Potter's neck. Why couldn't Potter just hug him like he had last night?

"Alright. Well… uhm…" Potter clearly had no idea how to begin the conversation but Draco didn't blame him. Draco began to twist the blanket between his fingers suddenly embarrassed.

Potter cleared his throat and muttered, "I really don't know when it all started or anything. All I know is that when I came to… you that night to tell I couldn't find our bottle, you got very angry. I didn't really understand the things you said, so… what did you say about me humiliating you? I haven't done anything like that on purpose at any point."

Draco could feel how his cheeks warmed up and he didn't dare to look at Potter so he kept twisting the blanket, staring at his fingers. He tried to give an answer,

"I assumed you knew about…" He didn't know how to continue so he looked up and glanced around to make sure they really were alone before he returned his gaze on his fingers and whispered,  
"about me being hard around you and… I thought, since you didn't say anything, I thought you found it amusing or something. I thought you might deliberately get us into situations where it happened again, and… well, I thought you did it on purpose. To laugh at my expense."

He glanced quickly at Potter but the Gryffindor was staring at his own fingers.

Potter said,  
"I had no idea. I didn't do anything on purpose, and I definitely wouldn't have laughed at your expense. Why would I? Something like that could just as easily happen to me."

Draco shrugged although he didn't know whether Potter was watching or not, then he replied,  
"Well I assumed you knew since I thought it was obvious."

Potter muttered quietly, "I don't blame you for thinking I might think it's funny because I've spent a lot of time thinking about where we are standing right now. I really have no idea what… we are."

Draco wasn't sure he understood what Potter meant so he asked, "What do you mean by that?"

He could clearly see how Potter became more nervous, Potter clenched his jaw and answered,  
"I mean I thought we're not… enemies, or… whatever we used to be. Instead I've been wondering if we are becoming friends or… what? What are we?"

Draco didn't think they were enemies either, but certainly they weren't friends. He replied truthfully,

"I don't know what we are."

Potter raised his eyes and turned to look at Draco so the Slytherin held his gaze.

Potter asked, "Do you still hate me?"

Draco shook his head slowly but couldn't form any words.  
He felt like answering he wanted Potter so much the hate was long ago buried somewhere far underneath the want.  
The old animosity just sometimes erupted like a geyser if he felt like he was being trampled on. Would he be able to explain that to Potter somehow? He had talked about being hard and all that, so of course Potter knew he wanted him.

He was just about to ask Potter why the Gryffindor would even think Draco might hate him when Draco had so clearly told him he wanted him but Potter managed to ask first,

"Then why did you do what you did? Why would you do that if you don't hate me?"

The way Potter's eyes got that small flash of anger and hate made Draco flinch. He tried to think but everything he thought about sounded like a lame excuse.  
He didn't know! He wasn't sure if he had done it because he was so mad at Potter, or because he wanted Potter so much he couldn't handle it that night – he wasn't sure anymore.  
Why had he done it? All he could remember was Potter's sobs.

Draco tried to think but his thoughts were turning into a panicked mess and he barely noticed he had begun to bite his non-existing finger nails when Potter said,  
"Stop doing that."

He was startled by Potter's firm voice and quickly dropped his hand on his lap.  
He tried to speak, "Look, it's difficult to explain."

He glanced at Potter and could see the hidden anger behind the green eyes. Draco felt like it wouldn't matter what he said, Potter would never believe him anyway and no excuse was good enough.  
He wanted to disappear but if he did then he would be somewhere without Potter and that wouldn't be any good.

He couldn't look Potter in the eyes although he wanted to, "I think that… I don't…"

Shit, this wasn't going good, Potter would probably leave if he couldn't get the right words out now.  
He knew it would be the end of the world if he let Potter go now. Potter would hate him if he didn't answer something good right now.  
Where were his Slytherin manipulation skills when he needed them the most?

"Stop doing that." He jumped at Potter's voice and even more so as Potter grabbed his hand which had somehow ended up on his lips.  
He was so startled he almost pulled his hand away from Potter's but instead he clenched his fist into a tight ball and let Potter wrap his fingers around Draco's wrist to keep it away from his devious teeth.

Draco gulped; why was he this scared Potter would leave now? He wasn't ready for the loneliness! He wasn't ready for its cold tentacles that wrapped themselves around Draco at nights so that it was hard to breathe and he felt so cold and lonely it was pure torture. He needed Potter.

He swallowed hard and tried to talk, "Look, uhm… this is really difficult."

He looked at Potter but Potter seemed a little less angry now so Draco said,  
"I know you're angry but if you want to hear it, then let me speak and… don't leave in the middle of my sentence."

Potter looked serious but nodded. Potter's fingers felt warm and nice around Draco's wrist. Especially because the hold was firm, it felt safe, as long as it was tight then Potter wouldn't be going, Draco thought.

Draco swallowed once more before he braced himself for whatever outburst of anger Potter might get,  
"I… I think I snapped because… you turned your back at me and I thought you'd just once again humiliated me and…I don't know, I can't remember it that clearly. I just snapped."

Potter held his gaze and Draco didn't know what to do or say, he felt like he was lame and corny and he didn't want to be like that.  
It was the truth, he didn't have any good excuse for what he'd done, he had simply snapped, and it all sounded ridiculous now. He muttered,

"I wanted to hurt you because I thought you had deliberately tortured me. I don't have any better excuse. I don't know if you already realised this but… all that backfired too, I've been feeling so awful about what I did." Draco swallowed.  
He talked like this so rarely that right now he could almost feel the words peel off his skin and leave him bleeding.

Potter's fingers were burning his wrist now and Potter didn't let go although his gaze dropped on the bed, away from Draco's face. It made Draco say,

"Like I said, I'd do anything if you could forgive me. I regret it and I'll never forgive myself for doing that to you. I'm sorry."

Draco could see Potter swallow and the Gryffindor's eyes shifted onto Draco's wrist where his fingers were holding it tightly. Draco didn't know what else he could say so he simply waited for Potter to say something.  
Potter didn't say anything for a while so they sat in silence which Draco thought felt alright, but it would've been better if Potter just said something, anything.

Finally Potter's fingers unclenched around Draco's wrist, letting it go but Draco's fist unclenched itself too and his fingers automatically wrapped around Potter's wrist now.

Potter was clearly thinking about leaving and he looked at Draco's fingers but Draco's hold was loose. Potter could go if he wanted to.  
Draco spoke but it came out like a whisper although he hadn't meant it to come out like that,  
"Will you forgive me?"

Potter closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them, he looked at Draco and clearly studied his expression, as if to see if Draco had meant what he'd said.

Potter muttered, "I'll think about it."

Draco hadn't expected anything greater than that but still he felt disappointed. He opened his hand so Potter could pull his wrist free.

Potter got up and Draco felt so hollow he felt like asking Potter to stay. He was certain Potter would never return and he'd never look at Draco again, Draco's reasons were too vague.  
He'd done something he could never get undone and he'd ruined what was left of himself completely.

Potter's voice was hollow too when he said, "I'll see you around. I hope your arm gets better."

Draco nodded, trying to make it as polite as he could while thinking he wanted to jump down from the bed and jump at Potter's neck and beg him to stay,  
"Thank you."

Potter left quietly and the unbearable loneliness attacked Draco as soon as the door had shut behind the Gryffindor.

*****  
Potter didn't come back the next day, which was Wednesday, and that made Draco even more certain everything was over between them. Potter wouldn't forgive him, and Draco would be invisible to him.  
The loneliness was eating him up on the inside, making him feel like there was no point in trying to get his life back on the tracks.  
He didn't have a family; he missed his parents, the manor, the money, the status he used to have, the social contacts even if he hadn't been that close with those he had called his friends, and also his school grades were way too low right now, although he was supposed to get the top grades if he ever wanted to even dream of getting a job.

It wasn't easy for an ex-Death Eater. Potter was all he could concentrate on, all that made him feel better, and without Potter he didn't have any interest in trying to pull himself back together again.

Early on Thursday morning Madam Pomfrey came to him and asked him how he felt. He clenched his fingers on his left hand, they moved almost normally now, and Madam Pomfrey allowed him to leave. He decided he'd attend the lessons on Friday as he didn't want to go to the classes before his left hand was back to normal.

He didn't know what he should do. He was bored, and he ended up walking up to the Astronomy tower and spent many hours there, just staring at the landscape with an empty gaze.

When he was finally about to leave, Potter was suddenly there, appearing out of nowhere.

"Potter." He gasped because he was surprised both by Potter's presence and also the fact that Potter was staring at him with an unreadable expression and not leaving as soon as he saw Draco.

"Can we talk?" Potter asked, and Draco wasn't sure his voice would work so he simply nodded.

Potter came right up to him and sat on the nearest window sill, and Draco sat next to him, feeling bewildered.

"I've been thinking", Potter muttered and glanced at Draco.

The sun was setting already; it went down quite early this time of the year as if into hiding from the late autumn's sharp wind.  
The faint rays of the sun made Potter's hair look soft dark with hint of gold and warmth, Draco felt like reaching out and brushing it with his fingers but refrained.

Draco didn't dare to say anything so he simply watched Potter's hair and facial expression as the Gryffindor didn't seem to know where he was supposed to look but in the end he stared at his own hands which were loosely crossed in his lap.

Potter said, "It seems to me that I can't decide how I should feel about all this. Some moments I'm thinking I want to forgive you and at times I feel like I simply can't. Does that make any sense?"

Potter glanced at Draco and Draco really liked the way the sun hit Potter's eyes, giving the green an unrealistic warm glow.

"Yeah, it does." Draco said but the devious autumn breeze rushed by and caught his words, making Draco's voice mute.  
Draco frowned a little in annoyance but it made Potter smile a bit, and the way Potter' eyes seemed to warm up even more made Draco turn his head away for a moment because it was impossible to try not to smile too.

When he had managed to force his expression blank, he looked at Potter again, and Potter was still smiling as he said, "Good. There's something I need you to do for me."

Draco raised his eyebrows, "What's that?"

Potter's smile disappeared and he asked,  
"What are you doing tonight? Could you meet me tonight in front of the Room of Requirement? Around eleven perhaps?"

Draco nodded without hesitation and as the curiosity was blooming inside him, he asked,  
"Yes, I'll meet you. What do you want me to do?"

Potter looked Draco in the eyes and clenched his jaw a bit. Draco bit his lower lip which still hadn't healed properly although it was a bit better now. Potter muttered,

"I'll tell you when we meet."

Potter looked at Draco for a moment longer before standing up and leaving. This time the loneliness stayed away, Draco was looking forward to the evening although he had absolutely no idea what Potter had in mind. He felt quite good, Potter's eyes had felt so warm and good, and Draco liked the colour a lot.

_I'll do anything he wants me to do_; he thought and turned to stare at the setting sun. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. He felt like living was alright right now.


	11. Gently

_**Zinnia says**_: someone read this chapter already and told me it was "wicked good", so I can only hope you guys think so too. I'm currently writing the last chapter, chapter 16, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts when I've managed to get this whole story out in the open.

Chapter 11_** Gently**_

Draco was already leaning on the wall waiting when Potter showed up a couple of minutes past eleven. Potter was wearing his night clothes and Draco was secretly glad about it because he was wearing his usual night clothes too, under the black warm robe.

"Hi," Potter said quietly and Draco answered just as quietly, almost whispering, "Hi."

Potter began to pace back and forth in front of the wall and as the door appeared, Potter entered first and Draco followed right after him, surprised by the view that met him.

Even if it had been dark that night, Draco recognised the setting immediately.  
They were in a room that looked just like Harry's bedroom. There were two four poster beds, one big working table, two trunks in front of the beds and a window with a similar view, and Draco turned to look at Potter, asking,  
"Why are we in your bedroom?"

Potter looked around too and then crossed his arms over his chest, he hesitated when he spoke,

"I've been thinking this a lot. I think that… I can't forget what you did."

Draco felt unarmed; he didn't know what to say so he simply stared at Potter, waiting for some indication of what was going on.

Potter stared right back, there were only a couple of meters empty space between them but it made Draco feel like they were both standing on separate mountain cliffs with no bridge in the middle to cross over to meet the other.

Potter talked and Draco listened with full concentration, "I wish I could forget but I can't. I can't stop repeating it in my head."

Potter kept a pause but didn't shift his gaze from Draco's eyes even one bit.

"What I want you to do is that… I want you to do it again. I mean… I want you to do it again but this time differently."

Draco had to clench his jaw in order to not let it drop open.

When Potter didn't say anything, Draco asked hollowly, "What?"

"You heard me." Potter said softly and then spoke with a firmer voice, "Do it again. But this time… differently, more… gently."

Draco swallowed; he really didn't want to do any of that. He tried to come up with a retort, wanted ask if Potter had lost his mind but all he managed to do was shake his head and whine,

"No, I can't. Tell me you're joking."

Potter looked at him with a hard expression,  
"Yes, you can. I need you to do it; otherwise I can't get it out of my head!"

Draco dropped his gaze and really felt like biting his fingernails although he'd already stopped doing that. He felt nervous, anxious and uncomfortable.  
He shook his head again and said,  
"I can't. I can't get it out of my head either but that's exactly why I can't do it. I can't."

Potter was suddenly in his view and Potter's words sounded loud when he was so close,  
"But this time it's different. And it'll help you to forget it too. That's why we need to do it."

Draco lifted his gaze reluctantly to meet Potter's strong eyes. He tried to shake his head, feeling miserable but Potter wasn't giving up and asked,  
"Do you want me?"

Draco was too surprised to answer; he simply stared into those devouringly green eyes, holding his breath.  
Potter repeated his question with a soft voice, "I mean... physically. Do you want me?"

Draco closed his eyes; he had no idea if he'd ever be able to deny the fact no matter how hard he lied to anyone, even to himself. He craved after Potter so much there was no point in trying to hide it anyway.  
He nodded hesitantly and tried to brace himself in some major setback as he opened his eyes slowly. Potter was way too close and stared at Draco without any hesitation, and whispered,

"Then it'll be very easy. I want you to do it."

Draco stared back but hardly dared to breathe as it was too scary to understand the meaning behind Potter's words.  
If he stripped the sentence down a bit, it was almost as if Potter suggested they have sex.  
Him and Potter, sex - Together. Out of a mutual agreement.  
But it wasn't the same, it was nowhere close to that, this was something entirely different.  
This was Potter asking Draco to try and heal the wounds he'd done on both of them.

Potter looked at him expectantly and whispered, "Say you'll do it."

Draco swallowed and took a deep breath. He had promised Potter he'd do anything Potter asked if Potter forgave him, so he asked,

"Do you think… you might be able to forgive me after that?"

He wished Potter would kiss him because he was so close Draco could almost feel the warmth floating from the boy's skin, he could imagine feeling Potter's breath on his lips.

Potter answered, "I can't know for sure but that's what I'm hoping to happen, yes."

Draco took another deep breath and said,  
"Well I promised I'd do anything, so I guess I don't have any other choice."

Potter shook his head a little, "No, you do have a choice, I'm not forcing you into anything. I'm simply asking you if you could do it, because I think you can, and because I think we both need it in order to live with what happened."

Draco studied Potter's eyes, and after a moment's thinking he said quietly, "Alright. I'll do it."

Apparently Potter was all about action since he turned, walked over to the bed and pulled the curtain open before collapsing onto the blanket, throwing his glasses carelessly on the bedside table and grabbing the pillow under his head.

Draco watched this in awe but managed to force his legs move so he followed the boy right after and climbed on the bed, pulled the curtain shut and asked,

"Do we have to turn the lights down too?"

Potter pulled his wand out, whispered, "_Nox_" and the darkness fell. Draco heard the silent clung as Potter threw his wand on the table. Potter didn't have his wand, the thought entered his brain and everything was suddenly just like it had been that night.

Both of them wore the exact clothes too, as Draco had simply assumed that because they met so late, Potter would wear his night clothes like he always seemed to do after the curfew. For a moment Draco wondered how much he might've actually already known about Potter and his habits if he thought about it.  
Some things were so small you didn't notice them until they hit you in the face, just like now.  
Had Draco already become so attuned with Potter's habits he had started to act according to them?

That was a frightening thought, but at the same time everything about Potter did feel so familiar, just like the boy's body did when Draco touched him.

Was this what enemies were like? Did they know such detail about each other always?  
Or had all this been something else for a long time? Draco had no idea.

When Potter had said he didn't know what they were to each other, Draco agreed to that silently. He had no idea what he was to Potter, and he didn't know what Potter was for him.  
Nevertheless he knew whatever Potter was, didn't really matter because Potter was extremely important.

"Tie me up." Potter whispered and it woke Draco up from his thoughts.

He bit his lip and hesitated but pulled his wand out and whispered the spell. Potter's wrists hit the posters so hard they made a thudding noise as the strings wrapped around them tightly but Potter didn't complain.

Draco looked at Potter's body. It looked just the same as that night, except Potter had his shirt on. Everything was so similar it made his heart beat madly, and he wanted to run away.

"Grab my hair and do it." Potter ordered but Draco couldn't do anything but stare.

He didn't want to do it, he didn't want to hurt Potter and as the thought became louder all the time, he said it aloud, "I don't want to hurt you."

Potter tried to look at him over his shoulder and said with a firm voice, "You won't. Just do it. Gently."

Draco swallowed as he softly placed his left hand on Potter's hair and grabbed it, admiring the softness. He stared at his own right hand, which he had lately hated so much he had wanted to cut his fingers off but hadn't.

He slowly placed his right hand on Potter's lower back and he almost pulled it away as he realised he was scared all of a sudden. He closed his eyes and took another deep breath, stroking Potter's hair softly all the time_._

I can do this, he told himself but he could already hear Potter's sobs inside his head. He could remember all the words Potter had said that night and they were echoing in his ears, making him feel so guilty and awful.  
Draco muttered, "I'm sorry."

He bit his lip hard, sucked it, bit it even harder until it started bleeding, and Potter didn't say anything, it felt horrible. Draco felt like collapsing all over Potter's back and snuggling into his warmth but he forced himself to stay calm and he repeated, "I'm sorry."

Potter sighed softly and said quietly, "I know."

Draco ran his palm gently on Potter's lower back but finally had the courage to put it under the fabric, Potter's skin felt hot and familiar. Draco could remember how he had felt, like Potter's body had been beckoning him, telling him things that were contradicting with Potter's voice.

"I like that." Potter whispered and Draco froze for a second before he continued the silent caressing and asked,  
"Yeah?"

"Mmm, yeah." Potter hummed.

Draco sighed as all the negative feelings seemed to be ebbing away as Potter's voice seemed to scare away the haunting ghosts of the past.  
He liked Potter's hair and skin a lot, and he didn't want to do anything else but to touch it but Potter destroyed the illusion by saying,  
"Go on."

He took one final deep calming breath before moving Potter's pants away to reveal his perfectly shaped ass and placed his palm on it.  
Maybe he was only imagining it but the skin felt even warmer there and he caressed it gently, wishing he didn't have to do anything else, he'd be perfectly happy to do this for a long time.

He stroked and squeezed the skin and admired its softness and perfectness, until he whispered,  
"I like your arse."

Potter made a small noise on the back of his throat and asked, "Yeah?"

"Yes. It's perfect." Draco confirmed and squeezed harder. He felt like kissing it, licking it too but told himself not to.

"Touch me." Potter ordered softly and Draco obliged although he could've kept kneading the skin for a longer time. He didn't ask Potter's permission for a lubrication charm but performed it after the cleaning spell and rubbed the liquid gently on Potter's skin. He really liked doing this and he couldn't even remember the nightmare like first time right now.

He ran his fingers on the skin gently, until Potter moaned a little and said, "Stop stalling and do it."

Draco smiled in the darkness but realised the most awful part was just about to come.  
He asked, "Do I have to?"

"Yes." Potter hissed and seemed to be all calm, which Draco couldn't understand as he was again getting nervous now.

Draco closed his eyes and tried to absorb how Potter's skin felt under his fingertips, trying to let it carve into his memory. Then he opened his eyes, clenched his jaw and gently pushed the first finger in. Potter didn't complain at all, and although the skin felt tight and hot, it didn't seem rejecting Draco at all, like he imagined it had last time.

He bit his lip and moved his finger slowly, hoping he wasn't hurting Potter, he ended up asking, "That okay?"

Potter made an agreeing sound before muttering, "Feels nice."

"Yeah?" Draco was surprised his voice sounded so hopeful.

"Yes." Potter confirmed and Draco felt like his spine had suddenly got a bit stronger. He moved his finger deeper in and he began to like this a lot but braced himself for what he was about to do next.  
"Tell me if this hurts." He said and forced his middle finger in too. Everything felt hotter and tighter but Potter's moan sounded more like pleasure than pain and it was enough encouragement for Draco to push them deeper and harder.

He couldn't remember when he had last time concentrated on something this hard. He was listening to Potter's breathing, waiting for any sound which would tell him if he was doing everything right or wrong, and he was constantly trying to remember to stroke Potter's soft hair and with every movement of his fingers he hoped he didn't accidentally cause Potter any pain.

Potter moaned and Draco asked with a low voice, "Am I hurting you?"

He was surprised to hear his own voice because it sounded like it had melted; it was so velvety and probably sounded turned on as fuck. He blinked at his own thoughts as Potter moaned again and said,  
"No, that feels good."

_Oh yeah, it does,_ Draco thought and pushed a little deeper and there it was again, the feeling of _I want my cock in there too.  
_He shook his head and tried to force himself to concentrate solely on this, on not hurting Potter, but his mouth had other plans and he heard himself mutter,  
"Yeah?"

He was almost certain his voice had never sounded like that before. Well maybe one time, that time when Potter had been in Draco's bed, all tied up and…

"Yeah, so good." Potter hummed through the pillow now but Draco had never heard Potter's voice like that either. Draco tilted his head back and felt perfect; strong, invincible and good.

Potter was moaning like that because of him; that felt so, so good. He could imagine how his ego suddenly woke up and roared like a dragon.  
He bit his lip so he wouldn't say anything stupid to Potter, he really felt like doing the whole 'come for me, baby' talk again.

"Harder." Potter muttered, and moaned right after as Draco already obliged to the request.

_This is why I'm gay_; Draco told himself and took a deep, content breath before opening his eyes and watching Potter squirm in pleasure_.  
I really want to suck him off, should I ask if I can do that? No, it's Potter, I can't, besides… no._

Draco bit his lip so he wouldn't moan too; he should really stop teasing himself with all those thoughts. He watched his fingers disappear and then appear again as Potter's perfect arse kept swallowing them.  
Potter was too hot, Potter was gorgeous, if only Draco could turn back time he'd spend his whole life trying to seduce Potter but no, their past was too unique and Draco would not try to ever change it even if he found a way to go back in time.

He knew for a certainty that whoever wizard ever got his cock in Potter's arse would surely be the happiest person ever.  
Potter kept moaning and Draco could feel how Potter's hair became sweaty under his hand; that was hot too.

Draco had to bite his lip again, he really felt like saying all kinds of things and moan in between the words but he had to keep himself in check. This was not the right place, nor the right moment.

"Mmmm, you can s-stop now." Potter stuttered and panted heavily. Draco closed his eyes for a brief second, trying to absorb the moment and the feeling. This would surely be the last time he ever got to touch Potter, and he should try to hold on to this one memory the rest of his life.  
He pulled his fingers out reluctantly and opened his eyes, one glance to his fingers told that everything had went just the way it was supposed to go – Potter was unharmed, Potter would be alright, and that was all that mattered.

He made a quick cleaning spell on his fingers, and released Potter from his chains.  
Potter pulled his pants up, panting, turned around on his back, and looked at Draco with a relaxed expression.  
Draco simply stared at the Gryffindor, wondering what would happen next.

Potter took a long, deep breath and said, "That was good."  
Draco was silent for a moment but then whispered, "Yes, it was."

Potter looked so relaxed, Draco felt like crawling on top of him, burying his face on Potter's neck and then saying 'I really need to fuck you right now' but all Draco could do was bite his lip and try to force the thoughts away.

The Gryffindor suddenly sat up and was very close to Draco now. Draco felt like Potter came even closer and he twitched with shock as Potter laid his hand on Draco's shoulder.

He swallowed, almost in panic. He was very worried now, he was certain all his self-control was soon about to crumble and then he'd surely wrap his arms around Potter and say all kinds of things and appear all weak and pathetic once again, he didn't want to be like that…

Apparently he didn't have to because Potter wrapped one arm around Draco's neck and pulled him closer until Draco relaxed enough so that Potter could hug him.  
This was the second time, Draco thought; that they were hugging. Hugging!  
And Draco allowed that, and enjoyed it, and didn't even care if they were acting like Hufflepuffs right now.

Before he even knew it, his devious arms were betraying him, and he had wrapped them around Potter's back and was breathing in Potter's neck. Potter was warm and all too good to be true, after everything that Draco had done, the hurt and the pain, he really didn't deserve this from Potter; Potter was too good for him.

Perhaps his old mockeries about Potter being a saint weren't bullshit after all. He liked the way Potter smelled, he liked the way Potter's shirt was all sweaty under his palms and felt like kissing Potter's neck but forced himself not to.  
More than anything he felt like saying sweet nothings, but this time meaning them, and asking for Potter's forgiveness which he didn't know if he could get or not.

Potter released his arms and pulled back, Draco tried to swallow down his disappointment but didn't really manage and he felt like attacking Potter with another hug but he was too proud.

He felt better now, he felt more complete and whole than he had the whole autumn so far. He felt a little more like his old self although he knew he'd changed so much he couldn't even fathom it all right now.

Potter looked at him but didn't say anything so Draco whispered, "Will you forgive me?"

The whisper seemed to linger in the air for a long time as Potter was clearly trying to decide on the matter. Draco was impatient but waited until Potter finally said,  
"I think you've earned it, so yes, I forgive you."

A big weight seemed to fall off from Draco's shoulders and he sighed in relief.  
They looked at each other for a moment before the Gryffindor broke the silence,

"We should probably go. I told Ron I'm meeting you so he's probably getting worried."

A cold feeling spread over Draco and he asked, "What have you told him?"

Potter seemed a little nervous, he replied, "Not much but he's been asking a lot so I guess… I guess he thinks something's going on."

Draco swallowed and Potter's nervousness seemed to be contagious, he asked,  
"Are you going to tell him?"

Potter didn't meet his eyes but shrugged and muttered,  
"I don't know. I haven't decided yet. But…" Potter bit his lip and then met Draco's eyes again, "If I'd tell him then I'd tell him only some parts, like… not the whole truth anyway."

Draco dropped his gaze for a moment and closed his eyes to concentrate on thinking. Did it matter anyway? What would Potter tell people if someone should ask him?  
Surely Potter wouldn't tell about what had happened last time, and about tonight either, right? If Potter told the Weasel about what had happened last time, then he'd come and do his best to get Draco into trouble for it, Draco was sure about it.

"I wouldn't… I won't tell anyone about… what happened, you know, earlier…" Potter muttered, and Draco opened his eyes to meet Potter's, he asked, "You won't?"

Potter shook his head, "No. Especially not Ron. He'd kick your arse."

Draco gave a curt smile, "Don't you think I'd deserve that?"

Potter's expression turned into a smile, "Well if you did, then I'd do that myself."

Draco felt like saying he thought they could change the kicking into something else for the time being, but stayed quiet and let his lips curve upwards to match Potter's.

The Gryffindor said, "Let's go," and pulled the curtain open.  
The charms in the room had even created a moon glow from the window; it was quite beautiful Draco thought as he followed Potter out of the bed and out of the room.

It felt strange to be back in the dimly lit corridor, it was like a complete different world out here. To be more precise, it felt like they had just been in another place, and another world, which had been a good place, whereas this was the reality and not something Draco approved of.

When they parted their ways in the top of the stairs, Potter said,  
"I think that… what we did was… the right thing to do. What do you think?"

The Gryffindor wore an expression of hesitation and expectation. Draco thought Potter looked very nice that way; cute, and the boy's dark hair was even more dishevelled than usually now that Draco had groped it.  
"Yes." Was all his lips could form while he was thinking about if he could grab that hair once more.

Potter raised his eyebrows a little, and that made Draco's voice work,  
"Yes, I think so too. Good thinking, Potter."

The Gryffindor smiled a little and said, "Thanks, I guess. Well… goodnight."

Draco took a glance at the smiling lips and muttered, "Goodnight," and turned to leave.

All the way to the Slytherin dungeon he was hoping Potter would come after him, or Potter would suddenly appear in his bed like he did those two times but no, of course the Gryffindor didn't come. That night Draco fell asleep smiling, he felt like he was stronger than in years.


	12. Bite marks

**Zinnia says**: I usually write more from one person's POV during one chapter – but in this chapter I suddenly did something different; I switched the POV from one person to another right in the middle of a scene. Thanks for all the reviews again, I'm always happy to hear from you guys.

Chapter 12 _**Bite marks**_

Harry was sitting in the Divinations class as the teacher announced they'd be working on a bit longer project which would give them their grades for this semester. They would work with the assignment until they were finished, or possibly until Christmas if they couldn't get the task done before then.

This autumn they had worked only a couple of times in pairs or groups but it seemed to Harry that most of the time they were to choose students out of different houses, or their workmates would be chosen with lottery or by the teacher.

All this had of course a lot to do with the previous war and its aftermath as the teachers had the trouble of trying to get the student to get along, and not end up chasing each other after things that had happened last year.

Harry had been thinking about Malfoy a lot. It wasn't a secret either since Ron had occasionally asked some very specific questions relating to Malfoy, which proved to Harry he must be wearing an 'I'm thinking about Malfoy' expression on his face.

Right now as the teacher encouraged them to seek a partner from the other house, which was this time the house of Slytherin, Harry turned to look at Malfoy, who was sitting only a couple of desks further back but on the opposite side of the room.  
Harry had a clear view on Malfoy and as if sensing Harry's gaze Malfoy suddenly lifted his eyes from the table and looked at Harry.

Harry was still confused about what they were to each other. They hadn't met each other after what they'd done in the Room of Requirement two nights ago. At that time Harry had felt a certain confidence they would meet soon again, and they would do things like that again.

He knew he had rediscovered his infatuation to Malfoy, and possibly it had never died at all. He hadn't thought about that one horrible night when Malfoy had done bad things, instead he'd kept replaying what had happened two nights ago in his head, and he felt like doing it again.

The only feeling he seemed to have for Malfoy right now was this strange expectation, a slight nervous feeling which filled him with energy and restlessness.

He didn't know what he would do about Malfoy. In fact, he had no idea what he and Malfoy could possibly do. Something was going on between them, that much was certain. Harry had no idea what Malfoy felt about things, for all he knew Malfoy could be somehow using Harry and didn't want more than that, although Harry really didn't believe that to be the case.

The teacher was currently telling them to decide their working mates as soon as possible because he had individual tasks for all the pairs. Harry was observing what was going on around Malfoy's desk.  
All the other Slytherins were reluctantly making eye contact with the Gryffindors and most of them seemed to find a pair without a bigger argument.

No-one, absolutely no-one, looked at Malfoy's direction or went to talk to him.

It was only now that Harry could see how ignorant or blind he'd been when it came to Malfoy's everyday life since apparently Malfoy found this situation very familiar, like he wasn't even expecting anyone from Gryffindor to be willing to work with him.

Even if Harry had on some level known all this already soon after school had started in September, he'd never really observed how it all happened and was somehow surprised by all this. During the potions assignment their work together with Malfoy had been mostly more pleasant than he'd ever have guessed, so how was it possible no-one wanted a workmate like that?

Malfoy was still staring at Harry but he made a face; a roll of the eyes and a loud harrumph, crossing his arms over his chest. The face clearly spoke to Harry 'This is useless bullshit'.  
It was so typical Malfoy, Harry found himself smiling a little, and that made Malfoy lift his left eyebrow a bit, as if asking 'You think this is funny, do you, Potter?'.

Harry smiled even wider and mouthed, "Work with me."  
Malfoy frowned, like he didn't understand.

Harry spoke aloud although he knew Malfoy couldn't hear his voice over all the loud chattering of the students who were discussing with their new pairs, "Work with me."  
He also made a hesitant sign with his index finger, pointing it at Malfoy and then himself; hoping it would clarify the message in case his lips weren't articulating well enough.

Malfoy's eyes moved a little from Harry's to his left and Harry automatically followed the gaze and realised the Gryffindors near Harry's desk had stopped chattering and were now staring both Malfoy and Harry in turn. Harry clenched his jaw in irritation.

Why were they staring at him like that? If Harry was willing to work with Malfoy then shouldn't that tell volumes about how stupid everyone else was when they hadn't asked Malfoy first?

Harry got up and walked over to Malfoy's desk, sighing loudly and rolling his eyes to Malfoy, to say he found the Gryffindor's attitudes irritating. Malfoy raised his eyebrows a little and Harry could've sworn the Slytherin's eyes had a small glint of joy at Harry's reaction.

"Well?" Harry asked, as he was certain Malfoy knew very well what Harry had been asking.  
"Alright." Malfoy simply replied and tilted his head back, letting it softly fall against the wall behind him.

Harry simply stood there, watching at Malfoy, before turning to look back at the Gryffindors, some of them were still watching and Harry was so irritated he felt like throwing an insult at them but managed to keep his mouth shut. He turned back to Malfoy and asked,

"When are you ready to start working?"

Malfoy shrugged and said, "Whenever is fine for me. How about tonight?"

Harry nodded, "Yes. But this time I'll work very hard, and I can plan everything."

Malfoy pursed his lips and nodded once before saying, "Alright. If I don't like your plans then I'll make new ones. So… where do we meet?"

Harry smiled, "Room of Requirement at eleven?"

He watched as Malfoy's face seemed to blanch slightly, so it must mean Malfoy was thinking about the last time too, right?

Malfoy muttered, "Sure."

*****  
Malfoy was already waiting when Harry came to meet him at eleven. Harry was fully dressed in suitable clothing for the cold night air. Malfoy was once again dressed in his night clothes and although Harry liked to see him that way, he was still disappointed in himself for not having told Malfoy to dress properly.

Harry swallowed nervously as Malfoy's eyes narrowed and started running up and down Harry's body, he asked, "Are we going out?"

Harry nodded, "Yeah but I didn't know that earlier so… but… I could come with you when you go changing. Or… I could wait in the Entrance hall."

Malfoy shrugged and already started marching towards the stairs and Harry walked side by side with him. When they were nearing the Slytherin dungeon, Malfoy said,  
"I don't think you should come down there. It's better if you wait for me in the hall."

"Right." Harry answered and turned around to go back.  
Malfoy returned about five minutes later dressed in a very warm and elegant looking black jacket, which had beautiful long, thin, green buttons on the front and on the pockets.  
The jacket made Harry suddenly realise the winter was on its way and the autumn had gone by too fast. Malfoy's black boots were almost knee high and they looked warm and firm.

There was only a small patch of Malfoy's trousers visible between the jacket's hem and where the boots ended, and the trousers were black too. Malfoy was carrying a hat and gloves in his hands and his hair looked very white in contrast with all the black.

So beautiful, Harry thought, and couldn't think of saying anything else so he kept staring silently, until Malfoy was only a couple of steps away and asked,  
"Where are we going?"

Harry stared into the steel grey eyes for a brief second before managing to say,  
"I uhm… we need to go to different locations to study the star patterns and stuff, so… we need to go right to the different corners of the school grounds so we should fetch out brooms first."

Malfoy's expression turned blank, "Our brooms?"

Harry nodded, "Yes, I think we need to fly since otherwise it will take us forever to reach the places and in this weather - "

"We'll walk!" Malfoy interrupted and his expression turned into something which Harry could remember from years back; the arrogant, cool gaze.

All this was unexpected as Harry had seen new sides of Malfoy the last couple of weeks, he automatically frowned and took a firmer tone,  
"It'll take us hours if we go on foot!"

Malfoy narrowed his eyes, "Then so be it."  
Having said that, the Slytherin already turned and trotted towards the main door.

Harry quickly caught him and placed his hand against the door to stop the Slytherin from pulling it open, Harry said,  
"Look, it's cold there! I'm telling you, we need to fly! Look at this…"

Harry pulled a map he'd sketched of the areas where he thought they were supposed to go and study the stars. Malfoy rolled his eyes and sighed but looked at the paper, which Harry now held right in front of Malfoy's eyes.

Harry said, "See that? See how far the first dot is? Are you telling me you want to walk there?"

Malfoy pushed the paper away so he could glare at Harry, "Damn right that's exactly what I'm saying."

He pushed Harry's hand away from the door and pulled the door open and Harry was left with no other choice but to follow him out. It was windy and Harry pulled his hat further down over his ears and shouted after Malfoy, who was strutting fast into the night,  
"Malfoy! Wait! Come back!"

Malfoy shouted over his shoulder, "You can either walk with me or meet me there!"

Harry ran after him and grabbed him by the arm, and Malfoy hissed in annoyance as he turned to frown at Harry. Harry said with a less aggressive voice,  
"Do you even know where it is?"

Malfoy wasn't pulling his arm out of Harry's grip; he didn't shout but was clearly annoyed, "Of course I do."

Harry still didn't let go, the wind was howling and it was dark, the clouds were currently moving to cover the moon and making the night even darker.  
Harry asked, "What's wrong with flying?"

Malfoy narrowed his eyes coldly, "Everything, absolutely everything. Now, let me go or come with me."

Harry let his arm free and said, "I'll go and fetch my broom anyway, wait for me here."

Malfoy muttered, "You can catch me if you find me." The Slytherin turned and started pacing towards the end of the forest which was looming far ahead.

Harry quickly turned and ran back inside, all the way to the broom closet, grabbed his broom and ran all the way back outside, not even caring if anyone would wake up because of his stomping.

Malfoy was nowhere in sight. "Damn!" He muttered loudly and mounted his broom.

The wind had soothed down a bit but flying felt really cold and Harry struggled to keep his broom steady as he tried to perform some of the easiest warming spells around his face. It was very dark as there was no snow yet. The ground and the forest underneath him looked so black he could barely tell the shapes of the trees.

He felt irritated because of the way Malfoy had been acting, and Harry had no idea what had led to that. Malfoy had been so different these last couple of weeks, most of his expressions and tones were completely new to Harry but he had enjoyed them because he had thought they were easier to read than those harder, colder expressions Harry used to receive and what he'd received just now.

He couldn't tell if Malfoy was in the forest underneath him or not, no matter how hard he tried to analyse the darkness, searching for some movement or a sound. He hadn't really thought about it before but someone had tried to kill Malfoy, and there was no telling if he was someone's number one target, so it was possible Harry had just made big mistake by letting Malfoy go out alone.

He clenched his jaw as he became even more nervous. What if someone had already attacked Malfoy? It would surely be Harry's fault, and what was Harry supposed to do then? Should he return back to the castle and ask for help or what?

*****  
Draco glanced at the sky, the clouds had become even darker shade of grey and they looked like it might start snowing any minute now. Great, Draco thought and took another couple of steps before stopping and listening to the quiet forest around him.

It was too quiet, and that made him nervous. Had he done a mistake by assuming Potter would come after him? He had not even once thought Potter might abandon him here. There was no way Potter could do that, or was there?

He glanced at the darkness surrounding him. Even the trees looked unfamiliar, reaching out their thin arms and long fingers in the most absurd haunting positions, towards the sky and towards Draco too. He shuddered and took a couple of hesitant steps but there was another fallen tree trunk on his way so he had to go around it.

He had faced so many obstacles in his route that he had no idea if he'd manage to keep his original course, and if he couldn't, then it would be harder for Potter to find him when he came after Draco.  
He would come after Draco, he had to; there was no way Potter would leave him here alone. Even the thought made Draco make a worried face.

Draco had been all too open towards Potter lately. Now that he felt better and stronger, he couldn't even understand how he had been feeling so broken he had actually admitted to Potter he was lonely. After what they'd done in the Room of Requirement, Draco had been feeling very good in comparison to what he'd been feeling before that.

Now he felt like he would be able to somehow put his life back together, even if he didn't have his parents, money, or anything else he needed and missed – he would still do it, he would build himself a new life and stop grieving after everything he'd lost. But he needed to stay in contact with Potter. Potter was what had given him this new energy. Potter made him feel alive.

There was absolutely no reason to admit to Potter that he hadn't flown even once after the fiendfyre day. He tried his best not to think about it at all, but every time he so much as saw a lit fireplace or an innocent broom, he got the shivers and felt uncomfortable.

There was no way he would ever fly again, and he had accepted it. He had been forced to give up a lot this year, flying was just one of those things, he would have to learn to cope with the fact and he would tell no-one. Potter didn't need to know, Draco didn't want to share more of himself than what he already had.

He thought he might be seeing a clearing ahead so he started walking faster towards it. Surely Potter would find him easier from there.

*****  
Draco's feet were numb with the coldness. He couldn't understand why Potter hadn't come yet. Had something happened to Potter? Was Potter mad at him and wouldn't come? Did Potter really think Draco might walk to their destination – it was miles away!

Draco stared at the sky above him and just then it started snowing. He shivered with cold and felt like shouting Potter's name but bit his lip to stop himself. There was no way he would start acting all pathetic now. Potter would come sooner or later.

He glanced at the forest around him, he hated it; it was too dark, too quiet and suspicious. What if someone came after Draco? He had been too occupied with the overall scariness of the forest; along with constantly hoping Potter would come already, he hadn't really thought that someone might attack him.

Oh no, now he really missed Potter, why didn't the Gryffindor just show up? He wished Potter would come right now, hug him, save him, take him to the Gryffindor tower and under some warm blanket, and Potter would strip them both down and say all kinds of thing, like how sorry he was for not coming sooner and…

He took another glance around him before shifting his gaze towards the skies, the snowflakes landed on his face and melted. He pursed his lips and muttered, "You have to come for me. You have to - "  
He stopped in the middle of the sentence as he thought he heard something. He listened carefully, trying to ignore the snowflakes. He was certain he had heard something, a voice perhaps, or was it just his own imagination?

He stared at the sky and blinked. Then he heard it again but now it was much clearer, it was a voice, and it was a familiar tone too saying, "Malfoy!"

He raised his wand in the air and muttered _'lumos' _and it took perhaps less than a minute for Potter to land his broom right in front of Draco. Potter's cheeks were red with the cold, and his tone was sharp, "Let's go."

Potter was angry. Potter wouldn't take him to Gryffindor tower, strip them and all that…

"I'm not flying!" Draco snapped.  
Potter narrowed his eyes, "What the hell, Malfoy? I've been searching for you like half an hour at least! Why are you here anyway? This is nowhere near the direction you were supposed to be going!"

"Well I'm sorry your highness," Draco drawled, "it's a bit difficult for orienteering when there's only darkness around, no landmarks, and not even starts visible!"

"Stop talking to me like that!" Potter shouted. Why was Potter that angry? He should be relieved he had found Draco!

Draco didn't say anything, he was so disappointed in Potter's reaction. All he wanted was Potter to stop talking about flying, why couldn't he just tell Draco he'd been worried about him.

Potter wasn't wearing any hat and the snowflakes were dropping into his dark, dishevelled hair. Draco felt like brushing them away but took a calming breath and asked, "Where's your hat?"

The Gryffindor's expression softened a little, "The wind stole it."

Draco felt sorry for his poor ears, "Aren't you cold?"

Potter shrugged a little, "I've done a lot of warming spells so it's not that bad."

Draco didn't say anything; he simply looked into Potter's eyes. It was too dark to really see the colour right now, at least the irritation was still glimmering in them but it was getting a bit softer.

"Why can't we walk?" Draco asked with a casual, almost friendly tone.  
"We'd get lost in a minute, and you know that. Why don't you want to fly?" Potter asked back.

Draco shrugged, trying to make the manner seem ignorant enough to hide the sensitiveness of the topic, he said, "Simple; I don't like flying anymore and I prefer walking."

Potter frowned, "Why would you say that? I know that's not true. What's the real reason?"

Draco clenched his jaw but wasn't irritated because Potter was digging the matter; he was almost pleased Potter thought he knew Draco so well he could accuse Draco of lying.

"That is the real reason, Potter." Draco said with a firm tone. He added, "I simply don't like flying anymore, believe it or not."

Potter looked at him intensively, reading his eyes, trying to find whatever Draco was hiding and Draco let him stare like that. _Keep on digging Potter, that is the truth_, he thought.

"Why don't you like flying then?" Potter demanded but his voice was friendly, although a bit sceptical.

Draco shrugged. He didn't have any good lie ready for that question, and also Potter might see when he was lying if he kept staring like that.

"I want to know, so tell me. Tell me now, otherwise we'll stay here until you told me." Potter said. That was a threat; Draco thought and narrowed his eyes at Potter.

All of a sudden there was a sound of a branch snapping and both boys turned to stare into the dark forest. Draco didn't know they were standing so close until he could hear Potter swallow. Nothing could be seen in the darkness, and it was all quiet now as both of them stared and probably were holding their breaths too.

"We need to go, now!" Potter whispered firmly and Draco could almost feel the breath on his skin.  
Draco nodded in agreement although he really didn't want to fly.

He made a pained face as he had no other choice but to sit behind Potter on the broom and wrap his arms around the boy. Draco held his breath, and wished he was anywhere else. He was scared, nervous and uncomfortable. He hated brooms!

He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Potter tighter as they took off. Draco pressed his face on Potter's jacket, in the back of the Gryffindor's neck. He tried not to think about the last time he'd been on a broom but it was impossible as everything reminded him so much of it. He was with Potter, he felt like his life depended on Potter, he could imagine the flames trying to reach Draco and he took a deep breath. He tried not to think of the smoke, or how close he'd been to death, and how none other than Harry Potter himself had saved Draco despite all the animosity between them.

Potter was like a guardian Angel, Draco thought and calmed down a bit. He was so close to Potter but this time they had so much clothing, he couldn't feel Potter's muscles working underneath his palms. He hesitantly let his right arm go and brought it closer to his face so he could sink his teeth into his glove and pull it off. He let the glove drop somewhere far underneath them and fought his way through Potter's clothing to get his hand underneath the fabrics.

Potter was startled by the cold fingers and for a moment Draco was afraid he might lose all control of the broom but he didn't so Draco wrapped his cold fingers tightly on Potter's warm skin. He could feel the muscles now, the warmth felt so nice on his fingers and he had to repeat these actions to his left hand too.

This time Potter was expecting the hand and shivered only a little as Draco kneaded the skin in delight. He closed his eyes again and buried his face deeper into Potter's back and let his fingers stroke the wonderful skin.  
He really liked Potter.

Not just Potter's body; and how the Gryffindor made him feel like he was alive, but he really liked Potter, everything about him. He felt glad right now. Potter had come for him, Potter had rescued him, and Draco's pride didn't flinch at that, he was only happy. He could stay here for a long while, and he felt like telling Potter how much he liked him but of course he didn't, and he never would because there was no way Potter would ever feel the same about Draco.

Eventually they landed near the castle and Draco pulled his hands away. This was the moment he was supposed to feel guilt and be ashamed he had let his feelings take the lead and ignore whatever Potter might think of his behaviour.

Potter looked at him strangely and muttered, "I think… I need to plan everything again if you don't want to fly."

Draco felt sorry for being such a disappointment to Potter, he said, "I could… I could do the planning or…" He sighed and muttered, "Or I could maybe… fly with you."

Potter blinked a couple of times, and all he asked was, "Really?"

Draco nodded hesitantly. It hadn't been awful at all, he would sink his fingertips in Potter's skin the next time they went flying and it would be alright. Potter was a perfect distraction from the awful memories of the past.

The Gryffindor said, "Well… I guess that's alright. I'd still like to know why you don't like flying. Do you think you might be willing to tell me?"

Potter was clearly trying to be very friendly and Draco wanted to be nice back, but he didn't think he'd be able to explain Potter how much the fiendfyre had haunted him in his memories. He sighed and replied,

"You're too curious, Potter." But Potter didn't look angry at all so Draco gave him a curt smile and added, "Maybe I'll tell you someday. Maybe I'll even tell you the next time we try to start working with the assignment."

Potter didn't say anything at first but then muttered, "Alright. Shall we give it another try tomorrow evening?"

Draco was disappointed Potter wasn't smiling, so he tried to smile a little, to coax Potter into one too but Potter wasn't fooled. Draco said, "Sure."

They didn't even discuss the details of when and where, and they parted their ways after goodnight wishes. Draco thought he could get used to this. Being friendly with Potter although it was clear to him his own feelings were nothing like friendship. He wanted Potter, he had wanted him for a long time now, and now he knew he also liked him, really, seriously liked him.

After a long, warm shower he wrapped himself inside a blanket and tried to force the sleep to come but it wouldn't. He missed Potter already now, and couldn't stop thinking how nice Potter's skin had felt under his fingertips; he wanted that again, he wanted more than that.

He wanted to stomp right into Potter's bedroom and kiss him and fuck him senseless, fuck him hard until one or both of them lost their consciousness.

He touched himself, but it felt all wrong. He wanted Potter to do that, and he wanted to tie Potter down again, not give him any chance to escape. Draco wanted to feel like he'd felt once or twice before, like Potter was all his, like he owned Potter.

This was unbearable. Wanting Potter would lead him to lose his mind if he didn't get Potter all to himself.

He couldn't take it anymore. He searched for his black, warm robe and marched out of the dungeon, not even caring if anyone saw him. Nothing else mattered anymore, only Potter mattered.

The Gryffindors hadn't even bothered to change their password; that only meant Draco could've come to Potter any night, any time he wanted.

He walked right through the rooms and up the small staircase until he found the door which said 'Potter, Weasley' and entered the room.  
Shit, everything looked just the same as that one night. The only light was the faint moonlight somewhere behind the snowing clouds.

He walked over to Potter's bed and pulled the curtain open. Potter turned his head and opened his eyes. _FUCK!_

Draco stared at Potter in shock. He hadn't expected him to be still awake.

"Hi" Potter said quietly. Draco was too dumbfounded to answer so he simply stared, waiting for Potter to tell him to get lost.

"Are you going to stand there or would you like to come in?" Potter asked and gave a hesitant smile.

Draco blinked a couple of times before he managed to force himself inside Potter's bed and pulled the curtain shut. Draco felt like an intruder, suddenly he was once again feeling like _'Why did I come? Why couldn't I simply stay in my own bed?'_.

He knew he should say something so he said, "I just… I wondered…"

He couldn't think of anything but then he remembered what had kept him awake the previous night and asked,  
"Are you regretting the uhm… what we did in the Room of Requirement the other night?"

He had been thinking that a lot since then because they hadn't talked about it, and Draco had no idea if they were ever to repeat the events again. He had absolutely no idea what Potter thought about things and he was too proud or too scared (he couldn't decide which) to ask Potter.

He feared of rejection more than anything. He'd rather pine after Potter forever than tell him how much he liked him if he wasn't sure Potter felt the same way. He wanted to be in control of things. That's why he had liked to tie Potter up too; it had made him feel more powerful.

"No, definitely not. Why? Are you?" Potter asked, his pose was all relaxed, and this time he was wearing his night shirt unlike last time Draco was here.

"No, I'm not." Draco said quietly. God, he couldn't live like this, he needed things from Potter, so he forced himself to say,  
"I just… I thought you might because you haven't said anything about it."

Potter shook his head a little and muttered, "I'm not regretting it. I guess I assumed you didn't want to talk about it."

Draco was quiet for a brief moment before saying, "Oh."  
Where were all his witty words now that he needed them? He couldn't think of anything smart to say. This would've been the perfect timing for some serious flirting but he couldn't think of anything.

"You couldn't sleep because you were wondering that?" Potter asked.

Should Draco say that was the case? Was that an admission of some sort? Should he deny it?

"Maybe. Also I was too cold to fall asleep." That was an excuse although it was true too.

Potter's eyes were going up and down Draco's clothing and Draco swallowed, he was nervous. He had no good excuse for being in Potter's bed, and Potter knew that too.

"It's a lot warmer in here than in the dungeons, I guess." Potter muttered. When Draco couldn't think of anything to say, Potter continued, "You could sleep here, if you want to."

Draco's eyebrows got up a little. He bit his lip briefly but couldn't say 'yes' although he really wanted to.

Although Harry had learned to read some of Malfoy's expressions, right now he didn't know what was going on inside the white haired head. Malfoy was too quiet, and while Harry tried to stay calm, he was slowly getting nervous nevertheless.

He did the last thing he could think of; he pushed his blanket off a bit and tapped the space that came to view from under the blanket. Malfoy stared at him, either hesitant or bewildered, Harry didn't know which but then the Slytherin did lie down and Harry pulled the blanket over them both.

They were silent until Harry turned to his side to look at Malfoy's face. Harry sighed but it was nothing to do with relief or anything, he was simply happy that he had a big crush on Draco Malfoy and the Slytherin was there in his bed.

He tried to keep a cool face as he thought about what Ron would say if he knew. He would tell Ron something, sooner or later, but not until he had reached some certain point with Malfoy – some steady point, no matter what it was, as long as it was something which wouldn't balance between the old animosity and all the new stuff that had been going on.

Malfoy was staring at the canopy with an unreadable face so Harry asked, "Do you miss your parents?"

Malfoy frowned just a little bit but his voice wasn't hostile at all, "Of course I do."

Well of course he did, Harry thought, he simply felt like asking anyway. Harry knew perfectly well Malfoy didn't want to talk about flying but he was too curious, so he said,

"I'd really like to know why you don't like flying anymore."

Malfoy snorted and didn't turn to look at Harry but Harry didn't give up, he asked,

"Why can't you just tell me? I won't ask about it again if you tell me."

Malfoy sighed and turned to look at Harry, the night dark grey eyes were reading Harry's eyes and then running along Harry's facial features. Malfoy muttered,

"I knew you'd never let it go. Fine, I'll tell you. I just don't like talking about it, okay?"

Harry nodded and smiled a little, trying to be encouraging.

Malfoy said, "The thing is, I don't even have my own broom anymore…"

Harry frowned and had to cut off, "Why's that?"

Malfoy shrugged and answered, "I knew I would never fly again, not out of my own free will anyway…"  
He gave a little glare to Harry and Harry smiled, and Malfoy continued, "So I sold my broom back in the summer."

Harry raised his eyebrows a little, "You sold your broom? But why don't you like flying anymore? I find it difficult to believe since I know you've loved flying."

Malfoy stared at Harry for a moment before muttering, "I uhm… I really hate telling you this. Do you remember the last time I was on a broom with you, Potter?"

Malfoy's voice got a little harder tone in the end of his sentence. Harry began to roll back his memories of Malfoy…hmm… last time Malfoy was on a broom with Harry? They'd been on the same broom only once before. Harry felt like slapping himself, the answer seemed so obvious now.

"Oh, right." He mumbled.

"Yes. I haven't flown ever since that day. Not before tonight at least." Malfoy said and turned his gaze back to canopy.

Harry wanted to ask some more questions but decided now that Malfoy had answered, he shouldn't press him more about it right now.

Harry sighed and muttered, "Alright. Was it… horrible tonight then?"

Malfoy's head snapped back fast to look at Harry, the boy frowned a little. That made Harry think Malfoy had possibly assumed Harry would ask something else.

The blond haired boy replied, "It wasn't that bad. If it was then I wouldn't have said I'm willing to do it again, right?"

Harry looked him in the eyes and smiled, "Yes, I guess so."

Malfoy didn't smile but was watching Harry's lips before shifting his gaze back in Harry's eyes.

Harry bit his lip, he really felt like kissing Malfoy but he didn't have enough courage. Malfoy was so beautiful, he felt like saying that too but didn't. The only thing he had the necessary courage to do was to slowly place his hand on Malfoy's hair.

The Slytherin twitched a little but didn't say anything so Harry started stroking his hair, admiring its white colour, and sweet softness. He looked at his fingers and the hair and swallowed before forcing his gaze to meet Malfoy's, he was prepared for some nasty comment.

It didn't come, Malfoy simply stared at him and Harry felt really strange all of a sudden. He felt like adrenaline had started running through his veins, and he felt aroused and he really wanted to kiss Malfoy, and touch him.

He opened his lips a little to ask if he was allowed to kiss the boy or not, but instead of asking, he suddenly leaned forward and placed his lips on Malfoy's. He realised at once Malfoy had been expecting that because Malfoy was kissing him back, and very obediently opening his mouth so Harry could push his tongue in.

Harry let his tongue press against Malfoy's and although he wanted to keep the kiss gentle, he didn't manage with that because he felt suddenly very hungry, and wanted some more. So he sucked Malfoy's tongue greedily and moaned in the back of his throat, as the arousal seemed to hit him harder now, like it had been invisible and now it had pulled the invisibility cloak off and was so strong Harry knew there was no way the feeling could be ignored.

He wanted Malfoy, and he also liked him very much, there was no question about it. Harry took a deep breath through his nose and bit Malfoy's lower lip and bit. Malfoy's lips were perfect, their touch was so soft somehow, Harry had never thought a boy could have such soft lips, and at the same time they were needy and forcing Harry to give more and more.

Malfoy's tongue made him think about sex, he couldn't help himself. He really needed to tell Malfoy how he felt about him, if he didn't do it now, he probably wouldn't have enough courage to do it later.

Harry pulled away a little, gently, and muttered, "I like you"

He couldn't hear his own voice though because all he heard was Malfoy's voice. Harry's eyes flew open and so did Malfoy's. Harry asked bewildered,

"You do?"

Malfoy's eyes looked so beautiful even in darkness; Malfoy said quietly, "Yes, I do."

Harry smiled suddenly but attacked Malfoy with another kiss, a bit gentler this time. He wanted to learn everything about Malfoy's mouth, he wanted to learn everything there was to know about Malfoy. He pulled away enough to ask,

"Do you really like me as a person?"

Malfoy panted a little and muttered, "Definitely."

Harry asked, "How much?" He didn't bother to open his eyes and brushed Malfoy's lips with his even as Malfoy whispered, "A lot."

He hummed with pleasure and kissed Malfoy again but only shortly because he needed to ask,  
"What are we going to do about this?"

He could feel Malfoy shrug and Harry stroked his hair a bit, still not opening his eyes and Malfoy asked,  
"What would you like to do about it?"

Harry shrugged too and muttered into Malfoy's lips, "Whatever you want is fine with me."

Malfoy smiled against his lips and said with a seductive tone, "Really? You're going to take that back when I tell what I want."

Harry smiled too and licked Malfoy's lips, "Yeah? Tell me."

Malfoy wrapped both of his arms around Harry's neck and took a deep breath, "I want you all to myself."

Harry pulled back a little and opened his eyes; Malfoy opened his seemingly reluctantly,

"Uh, alright, and what does that mean?" He watched Malfoy in the eyes and Malfoy shrugged again before muttering,

"I don't know. What do you think it means? I want you, I want to have you, I want you to be mine."

Harry frowned a little, "In a way that makes sense but don't you think that's a bit possessive?"

Harry could see how Malfoy's expression grew cooler and he almost regretted saying anything, Malfoy muttered, "If that's not what you want then…"

Harry kissed Malfoy again because he didn't know what to say. Malfoy responded a bit stiffly but grew warmer as Harry just kept on kissing, not even thinking about stopping. When Harry pulled back, he said,  
"Does that mean you want to date me?"

Malfoy snorted, "Dating is something I would only do if I needed to get a pureblood witch to marry me. Dating is pretentious. No, I don't want to date you, Potter, I want you, all of you. And I definitely won't share you with anyone else. I want you to only think about me, and only be with me, and not even think about anything else ever,"

Harry had never heard anyone say anything like that and it worried him a little, he said,  
"Malfoy, don't you honestly think that's a bit over possessive? It sounds that way to me."

Malfoy frowned and didn't say anything for a moment; but he didn't let his grip around Harry's neck loosen a bit. Finally Malfoy clenched his jaw and he said in between his teeth,  
"That's my offer. Take it or leave it."

Harry sighed but didn't shift his gaze from Malfoy eyes, instead he said calmly, "There's no reason for you to feel upset. I didn't say no, I only asked your opinion."

Malfoy gritted his teeth a little but the frown soothed away.  
Harry said, "I've never heard anyone say something like that. So excuse me if I'm a bit confused."

The tight arms around Harry's neck made him think about how Malfoy had tied him down. Was Malfoy all about controlling people? Is that it?

Harry asked, "Don't get angry with me now, but I need to ask you something."

Malfoy didn't say anything, simply stared and his eyes were a little cold. Harry sighed and wondered what he'd gotten himself into, he asked,

"Could it be possible that you're a bit dominant? You like to be in control a lot, right?"

Malfoy shrugged but Harry could see how the expression cooled down all the time. Harry didn't panic though; he knew there was something he needed to dig in, in order to know who Draco Malfoy really was. Harry said,

"I was thinking that because I know for a fact that you enjoyed tying me down. You did, right?"

Malfoy nodded hesitantly and Harry smiled a little, he didn't want Malfoy to hide away his thoughts, he needed the Slytherin to answer. Harry gave a small grin and asked,

"Did that turn you on?"

Malfoy frowned a little but said, "Yes. It did. What are you aiming at?"

Harry took a deep breath and decided he could take anything Draco Malfoy ever put him through. He leaned in and kissed the Slytherin again, he got to coax the boy a while until he melted and moaned, his tongue sliding against Harry's.  
Harry moaned too and grabbed Malfoy's hair firmly; he tilted Malfoy's head back a little, and thought he might like that too - to be forceful, to be in control.  
But maybe it suited Malfoy better after all. He pulled back and asked,

"How would you feel if I was like that too? If I'd be in control over you some time?"

Malfoy smiled a little suddenly and said, "Why Potter, I had no idea you're a control freak. What do you want to do then? Tie me down and fuck me senseless?"

Harry's eyes widened a little, Malfoy's voice made his arousal inform of its existence.

"Oh, I… really? Could I do that?" Harry felt dizzy with the idea.

Malfoy lifted his left eyebrow and let his lips curve upwards again, "There isn't anything you can't do if you're mine and I'm yours."

Harry thought about that, eventually he said, "Alright. Fine. I'll be yours and you'll be mine. What does that mean? Are you my boyfriend now?"

Malfoy crunched his nose a little in distaste and said, "I never thought about relationships or boyfriends but if it means that, then yes, you can be my boyfriend, although it sounds very strange."

Harry shrugged, "I think it sounds pretty… normal. That's what people are if they are together, right?"

Malfoy blinked a couple of times and said, "I don't think it's anything close to normal if you and I are together."

Harry frowned, "You don't?"

Malfoy shook his head, "No! We're far too unique to be anything ordinary. We're a lot more than that. We're special."

Harry sighed in relief, "Oh, right, that might be true. By the way, if you stay here, Ron might see you in the morning. Is that okay with you?"

Malfoy nodded promptly, "Yes. I don't mind if everyone knows since we're going to be together a long time."

Harry smiled, "We are?"

Malfoy frowned a little, "Of course we are. We're going to be the best couple ever. Although I hate the word 'couple', we need to find some better vocabulary to describe this."

Harry was far to dizzy to start thinking further, so he kissed Malfoy again and started opening up Malfoy's robe and then the buttons on his night shirt. Malfoy twitched and made a hesitant noise in the back of his throat, as Harry placed his palm on Malfoy's chest.

Harry loved the warm, soft skin and let his hand run up and down. He pulled away from the kiss just to move lower, and placed his lips on Malfoy's neck, kissed him softly and then a bit harder until Malfoy hissed.  
Then he kissed Malfoy's collar bones and down he went, to his nipples. He licked them and trailed kisses all the way down the scar to his navel. He bit Malfoy's skin just a little, to make Malfoy's hands grab Harry's hair in surprise.

All of a sudden Malfoy said, "You know what?"  
"Mmmh?" Harry mumbled as he was kissing Malfoy's hip bones, admiring them, their colour and shape, and the way the skin felt under his tongue.

"I really need to be on top." Malfoy said and pulled Harry's head up. Harry raised his head obediently and looked Malfoy in the eyes, "What? No, I want to be on top."

Malfoy shook his head and sat up, forcing Harry to move, and the Slytherin attacked him mercilessly, pushing Harry on his back with force. Malfoy sank his teeth in Harry's neck and Harry moaned as Malfoy bit deeper, and sucked the skin.

"You're leaving marks" Harry grunted as the teeth seemed to go only deeper.

"Good." Malfoy muttered while moving his teeth into another spot and sinking them in again.

It hurt but in a nice way, Harry thought, whined a little and muttered, "You're a control freak, Malfoy."

Malfoy's fingers were all over Harry's hair as the boy tilted Harry's head in another position so he could get his teeth further back in Harry's neck, Malfoy said, "Well I'm glad we sorted that out."

Harry moaned. His whole body became oversensitive, the blood was rushing from one place to another, and up to his head, the adrenaline almost make him shake.

He asked, "What are you exactly doing?"

"Eating you alive" Malfoy whispered and attacked Harry's neck with force. Harry yelped and automatically grabbed a hold of Malfoy's arm, trying to slow him down but Malfoy pushed his hand away and bit harder.

Harry didn't know whether he should fight back or give in, he sort of liked the feeling but he also wanted everything to be a bit gentler.  
Malfoy lifted his head a little and looked at Harry. Harry blinked as he saw it, the wild glimmer in Malfoy's eyes, he asked, "Could you calm down a bit?"

Malfoy smiled, "No, I want you to fight back."

Harry frowned, "Really? Why?"

Malfoy grinned, "Maybe that turns me on."

Harry liked Malfoy's expression and bit his lip, "Alright. Let's fight then."

Malfoy's grin turned into a laugh as he grabbed Harry's head harder and began to bite again. Harry growled and placed his hands in Malfoy's chest to push the boy away but it was no use as Malfoy's arm was tightly around Harry's neck, and he kept pulling Harry's hand free every time Harry managed to try to push him away.

Harry could barely breathe but he didn't mind. He could feel the adrenaline just increase his hard-on, as Malfoy began to grind against him. Harry moaned and really wanted to give up with the fighting, and just surrender, let Malfoy bite him into pieces.

He struggled a little more and moaned as everything was too intense, his body was getting oversensitive and he gave up, and let Malfoy moan in between the bites which now turned into calmer kisses and soft licks.

Harry shuddered at that too, because his skin was too spent and as Malfoy gently blew into the saliva wetted skin, cold shivers ran down Harry's back and he whispered,

"I have absolutely no idea what you're doing to me but I like that."

Malfoy lifted his head up and looked at Harry with a dreamy look, his lips were incredibly swollen, and the boy said, "Good."

Harry quickly asked before the boy could continue playing around, "Why does it feel like this?"

Malfoy smiled, "How does it feel?"

Harry answered softly, "Like I'm filled with adrenaline."

"Because you are," Malfoy muttered and Harry loved his soft tone, Harry was so hard he really wanted do something else too, Malfoy continued, "Even though you're not realising it, you're body responds to me because it thinks you're under an attack, and actually it is, so that's where the adrenaline comes from. Also what I'm doing to your neck forces your blood rush with more force into your head, and these two combined makes your senses wake up to their fullest. Do you want me to stop?"

Harry braced himself for a new attack even though he thought he couldn't take it anymore but still he wanted it and said, "I want more."

Just as the words left from Harry's lips, Malfoy had already turned Harry's head so that he could sink his teeth in the back of his neck and Harry's whole body was so oversensitive, he shook with the pain and adrenaline rush that seemed more powerful now than before.  
Malfoy was holding him down so tightly, it didn't matter although he thought his body might explode into pieces.

He whined desperately behind his clenched teeth because the feeling was so strong he didn't know if he could take it, he could almost hear silent clicking sounds as his head seemed to fill with more emotions than he thought possible.

He had to struggle back, he had to, he had no other option because he couldn't take it anymore so he writhed helplessly and Malfoy held him down tighter. Malfoy moaned and Harry couldn't take it, he panted, "Fuck me."

Malfoy's head snapped up, "What?"

"Fuck me." Harry muttered, and his whole body was shaking uncontrollably in Malfoy's tight embrace.

Malfoy smiled with a hazy expression, "You sure? Have you even been with anyone?"

Harry shook his head, "No but yes, I'm certain. Let's do it."

Malfoy made a soft sound in the back of his throat and muttered, "Turn around."

He got up just enough to let Harry turn around, it was difficult to move because all of Harry's muscles seemed to be shaking and clenching on their own accord, so Draco pushed him forcefully down, and right now Harry loved it.

With a couple of hasty spells Draco had managed to not only make their clothes disappear but also make all the other spells and was now licking and kissing Harry's back, kissing Harry's arse and biting that too.

Harry whined with pleasure and Malfoy climbed up along Harry's body, groping it both violently and softly, and kissing and licking until he reached Harry's oversensitive neck. All Malfoy did was lick the back of Harry's neck and blow on the sore skin, and Harry's body began to tremble.  
He moaned, "Please just fuck me."

"Shh, don't be impatient, I want to do this right." Malfoy muttered and every syllable seemed to drill Harry's used skin, making him moan and he hid his face on the pillow underneath him so he could moan in peace without feeling ashamed.

Malfoy kept licking and blowing on his skin, as his fingers were one again finding their way inside Harry.  
DEAR LORD, Harry thought and possibly also shouted the words against the pillow as the amount of physical pleasure took a whole new level suddenly. And that was just Malfoy's fingers, he thought exhaustedly. He couldn't help his poor body which was shaking under Malfoy's soft caresses that felt like lightning strikes on his sensitive skin.

Malfoy laughed softly and bit Harry's shoulder gently, just pressing the teeth deep inside the skin but not closing them around it.

"Fuck me!" Harry shouted inside the pillow, his skin was too sensitive, and his emotions were huge and rushing wildly inside him, he was ready to beg for it.

Malfoy laughed again and asked, "You really sure? It might hu - "

"YES! Yes, I'm fucking sure so just fucking do it! Do you want me to beg? I'll do it too, just please, please…" Harry shouted and it turned into a whine.

Malfoy laughed again and Harry really liked hearing his voice like that. The Slytherin seemed to obey nicely and Harry clenched his jaw as he couldn't decide whether he liked the new pain or not.

Malfoy was being extremely gentle, pushing in so slowly Harry could get used to it. It didn't feel anything like Harry had thought it would. Harry had thought it would hurt like hell but instead the uncomfortable feeling mixed so nicely into the overall adrenaline rushes, he enjoyed it more than he thought possible.

He moaned loudly, and Malfoy of course asked softly, "Am I hurting you?"

"No, no, it's good." Harry muttered and tried to relax as his body kept twitching on its own accord as all the sensitive, abused nerves sent shocks through his body and into his brain.

Malfoy moved ever so gently, nicely and began licking and kissing Harry's neck again.  
Harry was gasping for breath before hiding his head in the pillow again so he could moan as loudly as he wanted to. Then he turned his head just enough to mutter panting,  
"Harder."

Malfoy moaned and bit his shoulder as he began to pound in Harry with such force Harry thought his brain would go permanently into some foreign lusty mood.

"Oh God" He moaned against the pillow and forced his hand between the sheet and his sweaty, shaky body. He could only wrap his fist around his cock but couldn't move it but that was enough. He thought he'd come any moment now. Malfoy was slamming into him and apparently hitting some really nice place inside him because the pleasure sent great waves inside his head.

"Aaaaaah, that's amazing." He hissed and moaned loudly, not even caring if the whole fucking castle heard him. Malfoy made some soft, lusty noises in the back of his throat and Harry couldn't bother feeling ashamed he was already in the brink of coming.

"AH, I'm coming." He muttered and tried to rub his cock, as the pleasure shot inside his head.

"Yeah? Come for me, baby…" Malfoy muttered with voice made of lust, and Harry knew he did it on purpose, the words ripped Harry's orgasm out with force and he shouted against the pillow.

The orgasm felt endless as Malfoy kept torturing his used body, letting Harry ride in the waves of pleasure for a small eternity. He thought he might die, he felt way too unrealistically good.  
"Uh Draco…" He groaned and thought he might fall in love right now.

Malfoy was biting the back of his neck gently before muttering, sounding exhausted,  
"Tell me you're mine."  
"I'm yours," Harry said the words like they'd been already on is tongue, maybe they were.

Malfoy made a choked sound and wrapped his fingers in Harry's hair tight enough to hurt but Harry could tell the boy was coming right now so he really didn't mind. Draco held his breath as he kept slamming into Harry with fast pace before the orgasm made him freeze completely for a moment, after which he was gasping for breath and moaning.

He let his whole body weight collapse on Harry, who had to pull his hand away from his oversensitive, spent cock.  
They both panted breathless until Draco muttered, "I want to… marry your arse."

Harry was too tired to laugh so he muttered, "Really?"  
Draco moved his head a bit and brushed Harry's shoulder with his nose, "Definitely. I want to do a bonding spell between your arse and my cock."

Harry laughed at that and asked, "What's a bonding spell?"  
Draco kissed his skin, "Nothing important. I'm too tired to talk."

"Well you're going to have to move. On the other hand Ron would get a nice wakeup call if he found us like this." Harry muttered; he was tired too, and he could feel how Draco grinned against his skin.  
Malfoy muttered, "That's a great idea, Potter. Let's stay like this."

Harry smiled but muttered, "That's not a good idea. Although he'll find you here anyway. Get off of me, we need to go to sleep."

Malfoy kissed the abused skin one more time before reluctantly getting up enough to roll over and he did a quick cleaning spell before saying,  
"I must be the luckiest wizard ever."

Harry turned around and looked at Draco, "Yeah?"

Draco turned his head to look into Harry's eyes and said, "I've had my cock inside the Saviour of the Wizarding world, AND, he's my boyfriend! How can anyone ever beat that? That's right, no-one can beat that."

Right after ending the sentence Draco brushed Harry's hair and added, "I like your hair."

Harry liked the tone of Malfoy's voice and got up enough to kiss him. Malfoy was so relaxed and calm; Harry climbed on top of him and loved the way their bodies seemed to fit perfectly together.

Malfoy's skin felt so warm and good. The shape of Malfoy's body felt so familiar, he suddenly blinked with confusion and said,

"You know what?"

Malfoy's eyes had a dreamy look, they were almost closed and he opened them just a little more, as he asked, "Mmm?"

Harry stared him right in the eyes and said, "Your body feels so familiar it's weird to think that… that we haven't done this before."

Malfoy's eyes opened some more and he glanced at their united bodies before looking back into Harry's eyes, "I know."

Harry let his body relax and dropped his head on Malfoy's shoulder, kissed his neck and stayed there. Malfoy wrapped his arms around Harry and said with a serious voice,  
"I thought about that already long ago."

"You did?" Harry asked and yawned.

"Yes. I thought about how I remember what your hipbones feel like under my palms, and that was a long time ago." Malfoy's fingers were gentle, running slowly on Harry's hair and sensitive neck.

"Mmmh" Harry mumbled, thinking he might fall asleep soon. He felt perfect.

He took a content deep breath and forced his sleepy lips to move, "Can I call you Draco?"

Malfoy sighed underneath him and pulled a blanked over them both, "Of course you can. Do I have to call you… Harry?"

Harry smiled, "You can if you want to. It would be pretty nice though, so yeah, maybe you could do that."

Malfoy's fingers were all over Harry's back, "Do I have to? I might prefer Potter."

"That's fine too. Should we put something on before we fall asleep?" Harry asked and yawned.

Draco didn't reply anything. Harry was already on the verge of falling asleep when Malfoy said,  
"I like you so much."

Harry fought against the sleepiness and slurred, "I like you too."

He wasn't sure but he thought Draco muttered something, but Harry was so close to a beautiful, summer warm dream, he couldn't really make out the words, it might've been something like, "You have no idea how much I like you."  
He was on a meadow and the sun was shining, it was summer and Draco was there too, wearing Slytherin Quidditch gear and they were about to start searching for the snitch...


	13. Over the edge

**Zinnia says:** for the last couple of days (especially as I've been writing chapter 16) I've been listening to **IAMX – Fire and Whispers, **I love it.

Chapter 13 _**Over the edge**_

Ron was ready for breakfast and he wondered why Harry still hadn't woken up so he marched to Harry's bed and pulled the curtain open saying, "Harry, we're soon –"

"Good morning, Weasley," Draco Malfoy drawled and smirked at Ron's confused expression. Ron's mouth had already fallen open and now he closed it utterly unable to form any coherent answer.

He tore his eyes off from the steel grey, evil ones and looked at the sleeping Gryffindor next to him, all kinds of panicked thoughts flew around in his mind (Has Malfoy killed Harry?), he yelped,

"Harry! Harry!" His voice was at least an octave higher than usual, and he noticed Harry's neck, which looked like some wild beast had attacked him and tried to tear him to pieces.

"Harry?" He whined, and Harry opened his eyes looking very confused, and muttered,"Ron?"

Malfoy's shoulders were visible from under the blanket he was sharing with Harry, and the Slytherin clearly wasn't wearing a shirt, Ron couldn't think of any good reason for that.

Malfoy drawled, "Run along, Weasley, no-one wants you here."

Having said that the Slytherin pulled the curtain shut with force and Ron was left standing with a very bewildered face before he turned around.

"Ron, wait!" Harry's voice caught him up but he was way too occupied with his thoughts to stop and he almost hit the door on the way out because he was in a hurry to escape the room.

What the hell was Draco Malfoy doing in Harry's bed? And why did the boys look like they'd been sleeping, neither of them wearing a shirt? He gulped.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts but that didn't help. He marched right up to Hermione in the Great Hall, "You'll never believe what I just found in Harry's bed!"

"Let me have a guess!" Hermione almost interrupted his sentence.

"Alright but you'll never guess." Ron muttered and sat down next to Hermione.

Hermione's eyes were glimmering with enthusiasm, "Does it have anything to do with the Slytherins?"

Ron nodded. How could Hermione have already figured out that much?

"Is it something about Draco Malfoy?" Hermione grinned.

Ron's eyebrows rose to a new height, "How did you know that?!"

Hermione shrugged and had that smug smile, when she knew something no-one else did.

"Hermione, tell me, did you know about it? Has Harry told you something about it?"

Ron was both confused and irritated because now he was suddenly wondering why Harry hadn't told him anything specific if he had told Hermione. Ron had asked all kinds of things, but Harry had managed to avoid the questions, or had answered something so simple Ron never would've expected to see what he saw this morning.

"No, he hasn't said anything," Hermione sighed and poured herself some more tea, "But I do have eyes, Ron."

Ron frowned, this wasn't funny at all, "What's that supposed to mean? Are you telling me I'm stupid for not realising they might - ?"

"No! I didn't mean that," Hermione turned to look at him and placed a soothing hand on Ron's shoulder,

"Ron, look, maybe girls notice these things easier but Harry hasn't told me anything, and I've just been waiting for him to tell either of us."

"But how did you know?" Ron asked, feeling a bit calmer now that at least Harry hadn't told Hermione either.  
Hermione looked at him intensively in the eyes, "Haven't you seen the way they stare at each other?"

Ron frowned, "Well yeah but…"

"Exactly! Have you ever stared at anyone like that? Take a look around, is there anyone you could stare at like that? No, there isn't and why is that? Because Harry's been having a secret crush on him for ages and no-one knows about it."

Ron's mouth had once again fallen open but that simply meant Hermione got more time to speak,  
"I was wondering why he didn't tell us. I think it might've taken him some time to admit to himself that he really fancies him… I mean, having a past like the two of them have, it probably hasn't been easy. But I knew Malfoy fancied him too. Actually I think he might fancy Harry even more than anyone realises."

Ron tried to speak but he was too overwhelmed to ask anything specific, "How…?"

"Also Harry wanted to work with him with the potions assignment although he could've bought the tickets or worked with someone else. Then they had the lover's quarrel – "

"What?" Ron asked.

"I know you noticed that much at least. Remember? When they were working together (and we know they had been working because they handed in the potion) and then suddenly Harry was all quiet and weird and didn't even look at his direction! That was so obvious. You must've noticed that." Hermione was glowing with excitement.

"But I thought they'd had a fight or something…" Ron muttered, still disbelieving.

"Has Harry ever been like that when they've been fighting? No, and that means something's changed between them. So I thought maybe they'd told each other about their feelings or something, something must've happened at that time… well anyway, back to your original question. I know they are somewhere together, possibly in your bedroom because they're not here even though breakfast is almost over."

Ron tried to pour himself some tea but his hands were shaking, his voice was whiny, "And all this time I tried to ask him things and simply assumed they had problems with the potions assignment…"

*****  
Draco was standing in front of a mirror. His eyes were looking exceptionally beautiful today, he thought. Like someone had lit them up, creating a silvery glow on the surface.

He smirked to his image and began to comb his hair with his fingers. _No, that's not good, _he shook his head to let the hair stand out in all directions and started all over again.

Blaise appeared in the reflection behind him, and he was smiling. Draco smirked and asked, "Admiring my beauty, are you, Blaise?"

Blaise shook his head, rolled his eyes and muttered, "No, I'm just glad to see you're finally feeling like you should."

Draco tried to push strands of hair behind his ear but his hair was still too short so he gave up and muttered distractedly,  
"So am I, my dear Slytherin friend, so am I."

Blaise frowned at the unusual choice of words, slapped Draco on the butt and left the bathroom. Draco yelled after him, "That arse belongs to someone so keep your hands off!"

Draco pursed his lips at his reflection as he heard Blaise mutter in the next room, "Don't worry, my dear Slytherin friend, I will."

He began to mess up the hair again and then trying to make it look perfect_.  
I'm like a fucking lighthouse and someone just turned the light on_, he thought as he stared into his own eyes for a moment.

Then he gave himself a small smile which turned into a grin. _Merlin, how can I be this happy? And how can I look this good today…_

*****  
Ron and Harry were standing in front of the transfigurations class room, waiting for the class to begin but they were exceptionally early on purpose, so they could have some time to talk.

"I know you hate him but that's exactly why I want you to do your best. That's enough for me. You don't need to approve or become friends with him. Just don't say negative things about him when I'm around, and do your best to get along with him when he's with me."

Harry tried to stay calm. Everything with Malfoy had happened somehow really fast, even if something had been going on for a while now, still the major change that took place last night was confusing him.

He hadn't expected Malfoy to be so open about his feelings, and he definitely hadn't expected Malfoy to be the one who wanted commitment and to 'have Harry all for himself'…

He hadn't ever thought about what his friends would say if he started a relationship with Malfoy. He had thought more about what they would say if Harry had started having sex with Malfoy regularly but never, not even once, had he thought about having a real relationship with him.

He hadn't known that was a possibility, but apparently it was. It worried him a little.

Ron sighed, he had crossed his arms over his chest, "Oh alright. If that makes you happy then fine, I'll do my best but don't have any great expectations. Honestly, Harry, I'm so confused right now. What am I supposed to do, should I say 'Good afternoon, Mr. Malfoy' from now on?"

Harry frowned, "No! Just… do your best and that's fine."

They were both quiet for a moment. Harry could see Ron was angry because he hadn't told him anything sooner, so he said,

"I'm confused too. It's been… it's been pretty… I don't even know how to describe it but it's been quite a roller-coaster with him, to say the least."

Ron made a face and muttered calmly, "Why am I not surprised by that."

Harry swallowed; he didn't know what he should say. Ron commented quietly, "You know, the bite marks are still visible…"

Automatically Harry placed his right hand on his neck, "I know, they were too deep to heal with a casual healing spell but… he knows a potion for them so… don't worry, the marks will be gone by tonight."

Ron looked at Harry's hand and said, "But everyone can see them."

Harry bit his lower lip, it had been healing well but there was still a small scrape which would heal hopefully in a week,  
"I know. I don't care."

Ron frowned, "You don't care? You don't care if the whole fucking world finds out that you're sleeping with -?"

"No, I don't care. It's my life. If they want to hate me for it, then let them." Harry said in a firm tone. He hadn't thought about that either but as he said it, he knew that was exactly how he felt.

It was his life, and he didn't need to care for the world anymore now that he had saved it. He had done what they had expected him to do, or what he was supposed to do, and that was enough.

Ron didn't have the guts to argue so they were quiet until Ron asked,  
"How serious is it?"

Harry shrugged, "I don't know. I think that… I think it might get quite serious. We agreed that… we… call it a relationship."

Harry blushed, he couldn't help it. He wasn't sure but he thought Ron's face had the opposite effect and blanched.

*****  
Draco tried to keep his expression cool when he walked into the transfigurations class. He was having a hard time trying to keep the smile away from his lips, he was unrealistically happy at the moment, and he was late because it had taken him forever to make his hair look perfect.

He sat down next to Blaise and tried to keep his eyes fixed on the professor but he had to take a glimpse, just a small one, so he let his eyes shift onto Potter's back.  
Weasley was sitting next to him, and Granger who usually kept her eyes fixed on the front of the class, was now turning around in her seat to say something to Potter.

She suddenly looked Draco in the eyes, and Draco shifted his gaze to the talking professor.  
_So she knows too_, he thought.  
After five minutes or so he risked another glance. He could see the bruises on Potter's neck all the way from here.  
He let his lips curve into a smile and tried to take notes but he couldn't concentrate at all.

*****  
They were standing in the thin layer of snow, both of them staring at the dark night sky. Draco was holding his lit wand loosely over the parchment where Potter was taking notes.

Draco's eyes were fixed on the star patterns and while he was describing the sight according to their instructions, he let his mind wander somewhere else.  
He wanted to grab the parchment from Potter's hands, push the Gryffindor against a tree trunk and stick his tongue so deep in the boy's throat Potter would find it impossible to breathe.

He sighed frustrated, "Isn't that enough, can't we go back already?" He turned to look at Potter who was scribbling furiously.  
"No, we can't, not yet."

Potter looked cute, he was frowning with concentration, and Draco really wanted to go back to the castle and go to bed with Potter.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?" He asked.  
Potter stopped writing; Draco was waiting with a smirk as Potter lifted his gaze from the parchment and looked Draco in the eyes, "Yeah."

Draco narrowed his eyes a little and took a step closer, which was quite unnecessary since they were already standing very closely,  
"Well, then I need you to put the parchment away and concentrate on something more important."

Draco pulled the parchment away from Potter's hands and threw it carelessly in the snow.  
Potter frowned, "Hey! You can't do that!"

"Watch me," Draco murmured and slowly pushed Potter backwards until after a couple of steps later the Gryffindor's back was against a tree trunk.

Potter wasn't fighting back at all and Draco kissed him with such force the tree really became handy as Draco clearly felt Potter's knees go weak. Draco sucked Potter's tongue and wondered if he could coax Potter into sucking him off right now, right here.

"I want you so bad" Draco muttered and shifted his lips from Potter's lips to his neck and started sucking the skin mercilessly just below the boy's ear. Potter whined in the back of his throat and Draco impatiently grabbed the glove (which he'd borrowed from Potter) and pulled it off so he could place his bare, cold fingers on Potter's trousers.

Potter's hand covered his, trying to pull Draco's hand away and Potter moaned,  
"Draco, ah, we need to… Don't…"  
Draco was about to protest and inform Potter about what would happen next, yes, right here, but suddenly there was a noise, like a tree branch snapping, which made Draco's head snap up.

"Let's go," Potter said breathlessly and already _accioed _his broom while Draco was staring into the dark forest, pointing his wand towards the lurking threat. He couldn't see anything, it was too dark.  
Potter was very fast to react on moments like these; the Gryffindor had grabbed all of their things (including the glove) and stuffed them into a bag and was hurrying Draco up, so Draco wrapped his arms around Potter's waist and off they took into the moonlit night sky.

"Someone's following us!" Draco shouted into Potter's ear over the wind. His fingers were freezing so he searched the way under Potter's jacket and underneath the garments to warm his fingers on the warm skin.

"Someone's following you!" Potter shouted over his shoulder and they were nearing the castle fast. Draco glanced behind but there was nobody after them at least.

They landed and hastily walked back inside.  
"We need to go to McGonagall." Potter said firmly.  
"It's almost midnight, we can't go now. We can go tomorrow." Draco answered and grabbed Potter's arm to stop the boy because he was heading in the completely wrong direction since Draco wanted him to the Slytherin dungeons right this minute.

"We need to go now, so they can go after them." Potter said and he was breathless.  
"No! They won't catch anyone right now anyway, they're gone already." Draco answered firmly.  
"How do you know that?" Potter asked and stared Draco intensively in the eyes.

Draco was silent just a couple of heartbeats because he hadn't want the discussion to go on this topic, ever.  
"Because I'm certain they're former Death Eaters, that's why." Draco answered.  
Potter blinked, "How can you be so certain?"  
"Because I know." Draco answered seriously.  
"So you know who's after you? You know who put you in the coffin too?" Potter asked with raised eyebrows and a loud voice, almost shouting.

Draco shook his head impatiently, "No, I don't know any details but I'm pretty sure they're the same people who finished off my father!"

Potter fell completely silent.

Draco let go of Potter arm and started marching towards the Slytherin dungeons, Potter followed him in tow.  
"Did you tell that to McGonagall?" Potter asked, he was a couple of steps behind Draco.  
Draco muttered, "I didn't have to. I talked with her already back in September, and she knows all there is to know. There isn't anything anyone can do about it since there's no real evidence."

Potter was quiet for a moment but then said, "That's it. I'm doing our divinations work alone then. You're not going out anymore."

When Draco didn't answer, Potter asked, "Do you hear me?"

Draco said the password to the wall and said without turning to look at Potter, "I heard you."

When they reached the bedroom, Draco was ever so grateful to Blaise who kept the curtains closed at night. That left enough privacy in the darkness so Draco reached out to open Potter's jacket. The Gryffindor was clearly worried and occupied with his thoughts, and wasn't protesting but wasn't helping either.

Draco quickly proceeded into stripping Potter's shirt off, and then he got to the trousers and pulled them down with force. Potter's look was empty as he was thinking and biting his lower lip, while Draco began to take his own clothes off.

"Stop that." Draco snapped and Potter quickly met his glaring gaze, "What?"  
"Stop thinking about it, I'm here too, you know." Draco said irritated.

Potter took a couple of steps closer and placed his hands on Draco's waist. Draco let his expression soften as Potter pressed himself against Draco and wrapped his warm arms tightly around Draco's back.  
Potter sighed and stroked Draco's skin gently; then he muttered, "Promise me you won't go out without me."  
Draco sighed too and finally wrapped his hand in Potter's hair, "If I promise then can I fuck you now?"  
Potter laughed and pulled away to look Draco in the eyes, "Is that all you think about?"

Draco rolled his eyes; he wasn't amused at all, especially as Potter had just guessed right, "What if I said yes? Something wrong with that?"

Potter shook his head, smiled and was already pushing Draco towards the bed. Draco let Potter push him on his back and climb on top.

Draco closed his eyes and hissed in pleasure as Harry licked his neck gently before sucking the skin. Potter's hands seemed to be everywhere, groping and stroking the skin before his fingers landed on Draco's crotch and the Slytherin's eyes flew open on their own accord.  
He liked Potter's fingers a lot and moaned as Potter pulled the last garment away to fist Draco.

He knew he had a huge crush on Potter, he knew it was close to an obsession (or if it was exactly that he didn't care) but he also knew he wasn't in love. He knew perfectly well that the day of falling in love was very close, and knew he'd recognise the feeling immediately.

What he didn't know was that if he wanted to be in love or not. He was quite scared of the idea. Would he become a slave of his emotions? Would Potter gain an upper hand and would Draco be reduced into someone who depended on the Gryffindor?  
How would he feel then when he was in love, would it be very different and would it be something he could handle or would it ruin all of this completely?

That was what worried him the most about all this. He was also worried because he didn't know how long it would take for Potter to fall in love with him, or if such day would ever come.

Nevertheless he moaned and let Potter bring him closer to an orgasm with lightning speed.  
He opened his eyes and watched Potter's expression. He liked that. He liked seeing Potter's eyes filled with blind, uncontrollable lust directed to Draco, and Draco only.

Potter's hair looked just like it always did, like he was having sex, like he also was, and like he was supposed to be having for the rest of his life if it depended on Draco.  
Potter's gaze ran up Draco's body to meet his eyes, and he knew he was wearing that same misty, lusty look, he muttered,  
"You're perfect."

"Am I?" The Gryffindor enquired but he was now watching Draco's cock and rubbing it with more force, faster.

"Ye-ah," Draco moaned as Potter made an exceptionally forceful pull which was almost painful but Draco didn't really mind. Everything was perfect as long as it was Potter's hands that were torturing him.

"How about if I want to fuck you?" Potter asked and met Draco's eyes again.  
He wanted to say yes, he really did but he was so afraid it might push him over the fine line between liking and loving, he forced himself to say,  
"Not now."  
Potter smiled a little but whispered, "Well don't expect me to ask your permission for this too…"

He leaned down and grabbed the head of Draco's cock in his mouth. Draco tilted his head back moaning loudly and placed his hand in Potter's soft, dark hair.

Potter was way better in reality than in any of Draco's dreams, and the Gryffindor was sucking his cock like he liked it, and had been waiting for it, which he possibly had, Draco thought but all thinking was starting to feel difficult. Draco looked at Potter; the sight was probably the best he'd ever seen.

He felt like saying all kinds of dirty things but tried to prevent himself by biting his lower lip. Potter was naughty, he kept swallowing Draco's cock way too nicely, and deliberately doing it so well Draco had no way of fighting back as the orgasm was forming inside him.

Draco's fingers clenched and unclenched around Potter's shoulder as he tried to stop himself from pushing himself in Potter's mouth but in the end he couldn't, and he let both of his hands wrap firmer around Potter's neck and head so he could push deeper in.

Potter moaned in the back of his throat, and it felt way too good. _Don't choke him_, Draco tried to tell himself but it was useless since it was Potter and surely he could take it.

He really didn't want to hurt Potter but he couldn't help it, his fingers were digging deeper in the skin as the orgasm was getting closer.  
Potter was too good, way too good, so he hissed, "So good."

Potter opened his eyes briefly but closed them again and his fingers were squeezing Draco's balls a little too nicely. Draco let his head fall back, let himself mutter some nonsense as the orgasm was getting too close and he loved Potter's mouth, thought Potter should know it too, so he said that.

Potter moaned around his cock and it was getting too much so Draco let his fingers clench deep in Potter's skin as he took the last very hasty breaths, and moaned, "I'm coming."

Potter was too smart, he pulled back a little and finished his elaborate work by hand, and Draco moaned desperately, and gasped after breath as he felt like he was falling from an edge.

He was falling, and falling, and falling, and he couldn't breathe or hear his own heartbeats which were probably loud enough for the whole world to hear.

When he had fallen all the way from the mountain cliff onto the rocky bottom, he tried to open his eyes as he struggled for breath.

His vision wasn't too accurate but as the focus came back he saw Harry Potter wiping off the cum from his face, and the Gryffindor wore an expression which reminded Draco of a cat who just ate a canary.  
Draco took a deep breath and let his grip around Potter's head loosen a bit.

Potter looked way too good like that, unrealistically good; Potter licked his lips a bit and muttered, "Doesn't taste that bad, I'll give it a try next time."  
Draco let his fingers caress Potter's neck gently.

It had happened already, just a second ago but he knew with certainty it had happened; he had fallen over the edge and was in love with Harry fucking Potter, the Boy Who Sucks Cock Perfectly.

He knew it with certainty, even as he had been hoping he wouldn't, not now, not yet, and even through all the content he felt, he could feel a small desperation and worry.

"Lie down." He tried to say and his voice was hoarse, and he wondered if he had been shouting during the orgasm without knowing it.

Potter looked him in the eyes and crawled next to Draco, who forced his spent body to take orders and he climbed on top of Harry and began tracing soft kisses down his chest. He licked the warm skin, and loved it, and wondered how he would ever be able to make the Gryffindor fall in love too.

He raised his eyes and gazed into Potter's, which held a glimmer of joy and expectation.  
_Can he see that? Can he see what I'm feeling? _  
"I think I'll start calling you Harry from now on." He muttered and tried to see what was going on in the Gryffindor's mind but he couldn't see anything.

Harry bit his lip briefly and said, "Please do."

Draco proceeded to give soft licks and kisses on the skin, and licked his way down to Potter's navel and to his hipbones. He loved Potter's hipbones.  
Potter was way too wonderful to be real and he almost ached with the feeling. He stroked Harry's inner thighs before placing soft kisses there too; then he buried his nose into Potter's coarse hair down there and breathed in.  
Every breath felt painful even though his spent body was making his brain pump out some pleasure hormones and trying to keep Draco in a soft content glow.

He forced his eyes open and lifted his head just enough to begin licking Harry's cock. He liked it.  
He thought he'd fantasized about this so much he knew exactly what he wanted to do, and he licked the head of Potter's cock, listening carefully all the feedback that was coming from Potter's lips.  
Apparently Potter thought he could imitate Draco as he placed his hands all over Draco's head and forced him to take it all in.

Draco would gladly do anything Potter wanted so he began sucking and swallowing, admiring it all, letting it carve a new memory in his head. He really wanted to remember this exact moment forever.  
Everything felt completely different than in his fantasies, which were lust filled, and had naughty words as an icing, but now all he felt was the knowledge that he was in love and he had to do anything he could to make Potter feel the same way.

So he clenched his lips tighter around Harry's cock and began forcefully sucking it deeper and deeper, pressing his tongue against it, tilting his head to create some twist on the movement.

Potter was moaning and Draco smiled a little, thinking he might just do this forever until Potter said the exact three words he wanted to hear.  
He decided he'd learn to do this perfectly, he'd become so perfect Potter would never even think of anything else.

"Good?" He muttered and loved Potter's fingers pressing his head down while Potter made small noises in the back of his throat. He wrapped his hand around Potter's cock so he could suck his balls too.

He lifted his head to look around a bit, wondering where his wand was, remembering it was in the pocket of his jacket and felt irritated with himself. It would've been so good to push his fingers in if he'd just had the wand so he could do the lubrication spell.  
He didn't want to get off the bed so he decided he would do it next time and began swallowing Harry' cock again. He made it more forcing, added some tempo, praying on the inside that he could push Potter over the same edge he'd fallen.

"Say it," Potter hissed and Draco swallowed it even deeper, he thought he might gag soon and his eyes watered as he pulled up and asked, "Come for me?"  
Harry's fingers were so tight in his hair, it hurt but Draco didn't mind one bit, Harry muttered,  
"Yeah, and baby…"

Draco grinned as he sucked harder, who knew Potter might get stuck on some words he'd said unknowingly, it was so tacky he still couldn't believe he'd said something like that.  
"Come for me, baby…" He murmured and braced himself for what was coming.

He loved Potter when the boy was hissing, "Yes." Draco opened his eyes only briefly to take a glimpse at Potter's sweet muscles working, and closed them again feeling very excited. He did repeat the sentence inside his head, begging for Potter to come for him, and him only, because Potter was his.

Potter held his breath ever so nicely and was trying to choke Draco, and the feeling of relief washed over Draco as the Gryffindor shot his load in the back of Draco's throat and he was forced to pull up for breath.  
He really didn't mind the taste and was quite surprised by it, so he kept sucking and milking it out and ended up swallowing most of it.

His jaw hurt but that didn't matter, he'd do all this again as soon as Potter was recovered from this round.

Potter's fingers were suddenly on Draco's chin and the Gryffindor's thumb traced the trail of come on Draco's lower lip. Without thinking Draco took the thumb in his mouth and sucked it too, rolling his tongue around it before letting Harry pull it out again lazily.

Potter's breathing was calming down, and the boy muttered, "You're an animal."  
Draco opened his eyes and looked at Harry, "Am I?"

Potter closed his eyes and muttered, "Definitely."  
Draco simply looked at Potter, his relaxed expression and gorgeous body which Draco felt like kissing and licking all the time.

He crawled on top of his Gryffindor and began kissing the soft skin on the boy's neck. Potter wrapped his arms around Draco and muttered, "We're going to be exhausted in the morning if we don't get any sleep."

Draco made a 'mhmm' sound but didn't really agree at all. He didn't know what time it was but he didn't care either. He couldn't even think of sleeping right now, because he wanted to kiss Potter all night long, and then suck him off and then fuck him.

"Goodnight, Draco." Potter muttered, he was clearly thinking about going to sleep.  
"Don't fall asleep now." Draco whispered and bit Potter's neck a bit.  
The boy moaned but answered, "I'm really tired and I will fall asleep in a minute no matter what."

Draco lifted his head and looked at Potter's closed eyes, "Yeah? Can you sleep if I fuck you?"  
Potter opened his eyes just enough to see Draco, a faint smile formed on his lips, and he said, "I think it's better if you save that for tomorrow."

Draco felt a small pang of desperation; he didn't want Potter to go to sleep. Why did Potter want to go to sleep? He should want sex, never mind the sleeping! How could Potter prefer sleeping over having sex with Draco?

Draco asked, "Do you still like me?"  
Potter opened his eyes a little more and was quiet; he frowned and said, "Of course I do. Would I be with you if I didn't?"  
Draco shook his head but he felt insecure.

He wanted to say something but couldn't, every sentence seemed so stupid and would ruin things.

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Harry's. They were warm, wet and gentle, and Draco pushed his tongue in Harry's mouth, trying to coax the boy into a very long, passionate kiss but Potter's lips were too gentle, too slow.

Harry turned his head a bit so he could mutter, "Let's sleep."

Draco sighed, he felt frustrated, he didn't want to sleep but apparently Potter wouldn't change his mind about it so he dropped down from Harry's chest and turned to his left side to face Potter, who now turned to face Draco but already closed his eyes ready to fall asleep.

Draco didn't want to act desperate, he didn't want to start begging for more closeness although the few inches between them felt like a mile. He leaned in to give one more soft kiss on Harry's lips before muttering,  
"Sweet dreams."

Harry gave a faint smile but it was the only indication of him not being asleep just yet.  
Draco kept watching the Gryffindor, trying to think of different ways to get closer without appearing all clingy.  
He decided to wait until Potter was fast asleep, which happened faster than Draco thought possible. It took usually a while for him to fall asleep and he couldn't really understand people who simply closed their eyes and fell asleep, just like that, making it seem the easiest thing in the world to do, which it wasn't.

Potter's breathing changed when he fall asleep (like it did right now), he'd learned that the previous night.

He missed Potter already, it didn't matter he was right there, he was simply too far away when he was asleep. He was sad Potter preferred sleeping over spending time with Draco.  
_I don't like this feeling_, he decided_, I should've known being in love is something really bad, I hate this. I'm so pathetic. Father would dig his way through the ground and haunt me forever if he knew I was acting like this. What's wrong with me, why can't I be normal?_

He crawled a little bit closer to Harry and touched him on the neck very gently. He let his fingers run gently all the way down from the neck to his stomach, and all the way up again, then over his left arm, then all the way down to his thighs and back up to the neck again.

"I want you so bad." He whispered and listened to Potter's calm breathing, which didn't change.  
"Harry," He whispered but the Gryffindor wasn't listening, he was probably seeing some very nice dream about something nice like… Quidditch, Draco thought.

"Harry, I need you to fall in love with me." He whispered but Potter was probably very happy in the dream which possibly didn't include Draco at all.

He frowned, he was irritated. What if Potter was dreaming about someone else? Potter had once said he saw dreams of many people, and Draco had understood he meant wet dreams. He didn't want Potter to dream about someone else! No, Potter was his; he didn't have the right to have sex with someone else in his dreams.

He was so irritated he wondered whether he could kick Potter, wake him up and ask what he was dreaming about.  
"Potter," He whispered angrily but Potter was apparently too busy seeing a wet dream about someone else because he wasn't listening to Draco, "I've never been in love before and I hate this, do you hear me?"

Of course the Gryffindor didn't. Draco sighed irritated and crawled a little closer until he could hide his face on Potter's neck. He took a deep breath and snuggled firmly against Potter, who now moved just a little but to accept the intruder closer but didn't wake up.

"God I hate you." Draco muttered, irritated Potter didn't bothering waking up although Draco was now rubbing himself against Potter.

He gave up, this was useless. He closed his eyes and began breathing in Harry's neck, trying to adapt the same breathing pattern the Gryffindor had. Slow, deep breaths, he wished he'd end up in the same dream with Harry, so he could go and make sure Potter was only dreaming about Draco and no-one else.

The breathing and concentrating helped him out a lot, _take me with you, take me to your dream_, he thought as he finally started drifting off, Harry's calm breathing was rocking him into the darkness, and soon he was walking down the stairs towards the first floor. He heard laughter from downstairs. There was a huge crowd of people and he heard his boyfriend's voice loud and clear so he headed there too.

He didn't push through the crowd but stayed outside of it so he could observe the situation. Potter was laughing, most of the boys surrounding were Quidditch players, everyone was wearing their Quidditch gear and they all looked very muscled and handsome. The players would've been hot unless Draco felt jealous because Potter was clearly flirting with them all.

Potter laughed and told one of the muscled guys how good his new broom felt between his legs, and all the boys laughed. Draco stared Potter in shock, _what a slut, flirting like that with a whole team of Quidditch player_s. Potter met his gaze suddenly but didn't even flinch, just kept laughing as the muscled guy kept saying all kind of obscene filth, "You call it a broom nowadays? In that case you may sit on my broom whenever you like, haha, I'm very good with all kinds of brooms and wands, haha, anything that's hard and made of wood." Potter laughed so hard Draco saw red but when he was about to go and punch his boyfriend, he suddenly woke up.

He was covered in cold sweat and his heart was aching with jealousy. He sat up and noticed he had been sleeping his back towards Potter. He felt like attacking Harry, even as he tried to make his breathing calm down.

He couldn't take it, he placed his hands on Harry's shoulders and began shaking him violently, "Potter, wake up! Wake up, now!"

Potter opened his eyes and asked with a slurred voice, "What? What's happening?"  
"Were you seeing a dream?" Draco asked, trying not so sound so awfully angry but he was having difficulties with it.

"What's going on?" Harry asked and started rubbing his eyes and looking around like he was actually worried there was an emergency of some sort.

"It's okay, nothing's going on, I just need to know what you were dreaming about." Draco insisted and Harry yawned, and looked at Draco sleepily, "Oh. I uhm… I don't know, I don't think I was dreaming of anything."

Potter closed his eyes, but opened them as Draco was still gripping his shoulders firmly, Potter muttered sleepily, "Are you okay?"

Draco let go off Potter and lay back down next to him, "Yeah."  
Potter turned towards Draco and placed a hand on Draco's chest, asking, "You sure?"

What could Draco possibly say to that? If he said he was jealous because he'd seen a dream, Potter would think he was crazy. There was also no way Draco would ever tell Potter he was in love, unless Potter fell in love with him and said it aloud first.

"Yes, I'm fine." Draco muttered and tried to get rid of the last drops of the jealousy.  
Potter was already asleep again, and it took Draco a while to fall asleep because the dream still bothered him somewhat.

Potter was perfect and could get any wizard he ever wanted. Potter's life was perfect too; he had plenty of friends, everyone liked him, he was doing well in school, his future looked very bright and he didn't seem to have any issues bothering him.

Draco's life was just the opposite, the only good thing he had was Potter, everything else was shit, Draco had never been this awful in school but he simply couldn't concentrate on anything.

Finally he fell asleep again but when he woke up the next morning, he was very tired and felt like he hadn't slept at all. He still felt a little jealous as the thought was now clear in his mind; Potter could have anyone he wanted, and Potter didn't love Draco.


	14. Jealous and Possessive

**Zinnia says**: Draco has issues, we all know that by now, we just don't know how deep the problems are hidden but we're soon finding that out. Poor Slytherin.

Chapter 14 _**Jealous and Possessive**_

"Malfoy" Draco heard a familiar voice and turned around. Hermione Granger was nearing him with firm steps.  
"Granger," Draco said as politely as he could.

"Can I have a word with you?" Granger asked, her tone was clearly meant to sound civil and polite enough, like they had never hated each other - they still did.

Blaise muttered to Draco, "I'll see you later," and left so quickly Draco didn't have any time to protest.

Draco sighed but decided he would act just as civil as Granger, because he could, he knew he was good at acting and pretending, when he so chose.

"I assume this is about Potter." He said firmly and raised his chin a bit.

"Yes, it is. Shall we go somewhere else?" Granger asked and looked around, as if making sure there was no-one listening. There wasn't but Draco had no idea what Granger had to say, so maybe it was better to go somewhere more private.

He nodded once, and followed Granger, who started to look for an empty classroom.  
They found one, and as soon as the door was closed, Granger said with a tone, which was probably meant to be friendly but it was so forced Draco almost laughed at her terrible acting skills inside his head,  
"So Malfoy. I hope it's going well with Harry."

Draco thought it wasn't going well since Draco was in love and Harry wasn't, it was hell.

"Yes. It is." He said and frowned a little, wondering what the Gryffindor had in mind.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that." Granger said but apparently couldn't force herself to give a smile or anything.

"No you're not. You hate me, and now that we're behind a closed door you can stop pretending and tell me what you want." Draco said casually.

Granger took a deep breath, possibly trying to calm down, she was probably frustrated, Draco could understand that well.

"You're right, I don't like you, and I know you hate me too but Harry's now a part of both of our lives and Harry's my friend, I want him to be happy, and I think he would be very happy if his friends could get along with you somehow. What do you think?"

Draco hadn't really had time to think about this but as Granger said it; he suddenly thought maybe Harry would fall in love with him if he got along with his friends.

If that would make Potter fall in love with him, then Draco would gladly pretend to be friends with anyone.  
He shrugged and muttered, "I haven't thought about it yet."  
There was no reason to lie about it, right?

"You do want Harry to be happy, right?" Granger asked and was watching Draco's expression so intensively, Draco almost felt uncomfortable under such scrutiny.  
_She wants me to say yes_, he thought.

Right now Draco really didn't care if Potter was happy or not, all he wanted was Potter to fall in love with him, be all dependent on Draco, and not think about any other wizard ever.

"Of course I want him to be happy." Draco said and crossed his arms over his chest.

Granger smiled a little, "Good. Don't you think it would be easier for you to be with him if you could get along with the people he cares about a lot?"

Draco nodded, waiting for her to reveal some secret plan.

Granger said, "That's why I've been thinking maybe it's time for you and me to let the past be bygones and we could try to get along from now on. How would you feel about that?"

Draco regarded her. Was she serious?  
Was she willing to forget the past, just like that? But they hated each other, this would never work!  
Unless both of them used all of their pretending skills, then someone might get fooled but not Harry, Harry would see they were only pretending.

He frowned and asked, "Are you serious? Do you have some secret plan how you can make it work?"

Granger smiled, "I'm serious. Harry's my friend and there's nothing I wouldn't do to make him happy. You and Harry have managed with your past too, so why can't you and I do the same? We're both adults now, I'm sure we've grown enough to get along if we so choose."

Draco was silent for a moment, thinking furiously. Was this a set-up of some sort? Was Granger secretly planning something else, like maybe trying to pretend to be friends so she could have an effect on Potter's feelings, what if Granger would turn Harry against Draco?

The idea hit him loud and clear; he definitely needed to be friends with all of Harry's friends. He would be so nice to them, no-one would ever even think of separating him from Harry.

"I think you might have a point." He said. Then he added, "I want Harry to be happy, and if that makes him happy then so be it."

Granger offered her hand to Draco and asked, "Truce?"

Draco closed his hand around hers and closed the deal, "Truce."

*****  
Draco and Harry had planned to meet in Harry's bedroom after their last classes, which they didn't share today and Draco was already expecting Harry to show up, and he was a tiny bit excited he would sometime soon be able to show Potter how good he was, how he would be able to get along with Harry's friends.

He would become a perfect boyfriend and Potter would never leave him, Potter was surely bound to fall in love after that.

He had the divinations book open on the table, because they really needed to talk about the assignment today, but Draco couldn't concentrate on the reading. He got up and paced around the room.

Then he went to the window and stared out, it was a grey day, a bit windy. Suddenly he spotted a familiar figure near the greenhouses.

In fact, there was another figure too, which Draco finally recognised as he squinted his eyes.  
Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter were walking towards the greenhouses.  
_  
What the hell is Harry doing there? No wonder he's late!_

He watched the boys, and finally they slipped inside one of the greenhouses.  
_What the hell are they doing? _Draco wondered.

He had only once been to the greenhouses after lessons, and that time it had been Blaise who had 'needed Draco's help with something' – and the need hadn't had anything to do with plants!

Blaise had confined in Draco, said he had wondered whether he might like boys as much as he liked girls, those days the rumours about Draco's orientation had been going round quite effectively.

Blaise had been way too fearless, asking without any shame if Draco could give him a taste; just enough so Blaise could see the difference between girls and boys. Needless to say Draco had punched him on the chin, hard, and told him, "Being gay isn't a synonym with being a whore, Zabini!"

So Draco knew very well what it meant when two people disappeared into the greenhouses after school hours. He gritted his teeth.  
He and Harry had been together like a couple of days or so, and already Potter was fooling around with someone. He didn't want to believe that, he didn't want to believe Potter would do something like that.

He wanted Potter to be just as innocent and pure as he always thought he was.  
Was Neville Longbottom gay? Draco had no idea.

Suddenly the door opened and Draco turned around. Ronald Weasley was staring at him; apparently he hadn't expected to find Draco in their bedroom. Draco crossed his arms over his chest and muttered, "I'm supposed to meet… him here."

He assumed it would be clear to Weasley who he was talking about and right now he didn't know which name to use from Potter – Harry? So he thought he didn't need to use a name.

"Oh, right." Weasley said, looking hesitant like he didn't know whether he should enter the room or not.

Draco rolled his eyes, "Come in, it's your room."

Weasley did come in but still looked a bit hesitant, like he was expecting Draco to suddenly hex him or something. They stared at each other and suddenly Draco thought he might just as well try to inquire Weasley about Longbottom's orientation.

Weasley would never tell him anything useful… unless… unless Draco made Weasley believe he was serious about being friendly with Potter's friends.

He swallowed_, I can do this, this is easy; this will help Potter to fall in love with me.  
_  
"Weasley, I know you hate me and all that but I'm his boyfriend now, whether you like it or not, so let's give Harry a Christmas present in advance and surprise him by getting along."

Weasley's jaw dropped open. It sounded just as ridiculous as Draco thought it would but he didn't have time for a more subtle plan, he would have to know Longbottom's orientation as soon as possible.

"What?" Weasley asked. Apparently he hadn't thought about getting along with Draco.

"You heard me. Let's forget the past and start a new chapter, it will make Harry happy, and both you and me want to make him happy, right?"  
He tried to make his expression look more relaxed so Weasley wouldn't start thinking he was planning something. Luckily he had talked with Granger; he could use that as a weapon too.

When Weasley frowned, Draco said, "Granger came to see me today and we made a truce with her. She thought it would make Harry happy and I believe she's right so I'm willing to give it a try. How about you, which is more important to you, our past or making Harry happy?"

He knew he was being too bold, too straightforward but he was feeling very impatient. His boyfriend was in a fucking greenhouse with Neville Longbottom! Should he go there? Should he go and see if he could catch them in the act?

Weasley muttered, "Of course I want Harry to be happy. I'm just surprised 'cause I didn't expect you to be so willing to try, but… sure, yeah, let's give it a try then. Just don't insult my family and I won't insult yours."

Draco hadn't even thought about such things but he felt a small stinging feeling as Weasley mentioned his family. He had tried so hard not to think about them.  
He clenched his jaw and said, "Yes, let's not talk about families, ever. Do we have a deal then?"

Weasley shrugged, "Alright."

The silence fell in the room as they kept taking hesitant glances at each other, and all the while Draco was thinking how he could ask about Longbottom without making it sound suspicious. Finally he asked, "Do you want to talk?"

Weasley lifted his eyebrows, "What about?"

Draco shrugged, "I don't know. Anything. About Harry maybe?"

Weasley shrugged as well, "I don't know. Do you?"

Draco shook his head and turned to look outside the window, trying to see if Potter was anywhere in sight, he wasn't.  
Draco muttered, "Maybe we could talk about… hmm… about gays."

"Gays?!" Weasley answered a little too loudly and Draco turned back to look at him,

"Yes. For example… do you know any other gay boys about our age?"

Weasley was quiet for a long while, possibly thinking, or possibly considering whether he should give the information or not, Draco didn't know which and it made him irritated.

"Uhm… I don't know. No, I don't think I do. But I wondered if you were gay, I didn't know even that for a fact."

Weasley's answer was a disappointment; Draco would have to ask someone else about Longbottom. He found himself asking,

"If you were gay, who would be the hottest boy in the school in your opinion?"

Weasley made a face, almost like disgust but possibly not, and sighed, "I haven't a clue, I've never thought about it."

"Alright." Draco muttered, he couldn't think of anything else to ask since Weasley was so useless. He wondered why he had never asked Potter if he had had crushes before. Why hadn't he asked?

He had been so sure Potter had never been with any boy, he hadn't even thought about the possibility that now that Potter had come out of the closet (he was pretty sure the rumours were spreading around although no-one had asked him anything), there would possibly be a cue of gay boys waiting behind his bed room door, just waiting for Potter to ditch Draco and take the next one.

"What about you?" Ron asked suddenly, Draco had forgotten he was there.

"What?" He asked, feeling stupid and glanced quickly outside (no Potter in sight) and sat down by the table.

"Do you know any other gay boys our age?" Weasley muttered; he was still standing by the door. It looked stupid, Draco thought.

He thought he should've known but he hadn't been interested in anyone (except Potter) so he hadn't really even paid attention.

"No, I can't think of any." He shook his head and pushed a chair with his feet, as an encouragement for Weasley to sit down. The Gryffindor clearly hesitated but did sit down, looking like he felt extremely awkward.

"Who's the next hottest after Harry?" Ron asked then, possibly just to break the uncomfortable silence.

Draco made a thinking face, wondering if he could get any reaction from Weasley if he said Longbottom's name, surely Weasley wouldn't be able to hide Longbottom's orientation after that. Unfortunately he couldn't lie about something like that, especially now that Potter was his ultimate daydreams come true.

"There's only one wizard for me in this universe." He said truthfully, and Weasley blushed so terribly, Draco smirked without being able to stop himself.

After a while Ron muttered, "So you do really like him then?"

Draco regarded him, thinking what he was feeling wasn't even close to common liking anymore, "That's hardly a secret." Was all he said.

Just at that exact minute the door burst open and Harry came in so fast Draco thought he was flying, "Draco, I'm so sorry I'm late!"

The jealousy was suddenly back, and it made Draco's lungs hurt so badly he wondered how he would be able to breathe.

"Weasley, I need to talk with Harry, could you excuse us?" Draco spoke so softly as he could, trying to remain calm and to show Harry he had befriended with his best friend.

"Sure." Weasley answered and gave a smile to Harry, who looked a little surprised by what he was witnessing. Weasley left whistling and Harry was suddenly smiling so widely, Draco couldn't remember the last time he'd seen him smile like that.

No, Draco did remember now, he had seen that smile last the next morning after he'd had the wet dream 'come for me baby' talk with Potter, was it already a month ago or so? He couldn't remember exactly but it had been when they were still making the potions assignment.

"I never thought I'd one day find you two willingly in the same room and talking." Harry said and sat down on the chair Ron had occupied. He pulled the chair closer to Draco's and softly placed a hand on Draco's knee and squeezed it.

"Why are you late?" Draco asked, trying to feign calm although the jealousy felt like someone was pulling his heart like a bow string. If he told Potter he'd seen him, Potter might think he was stalking him, and that wouldn't do.

"Neville needed my help with something and it took a little longer than I expected" Harry smiled, and added, "I'm sorry. I didn't know how I could've sent you a message or anything. But I'm here now. And I missed you."

Potter's hand moved a little from the knee and his fingers pushed between Draco's thighs, Draco squeezed his thighs together a bit more firmly, hoping he could crush Potter's fingers like he was crushing Draco with jealousy.

"He needed your help with what exactly?" Draco asked lifting his left eyebrow, using all of his self-control on not letting his tone get icy and his eyes narrow. He felt like grabbing Potter and throwing him on the floor, fucking his brain out; then tying him up somewhere so he could never meet stupid Longbottom ever again.

"Uhm…" Harry began and bit his lower lip. _Shit, he's really been with him_, Draco's brain shouted in fury, _I can't believe this!  
_  
"He uhm… couldn't tell the difference between some moss species." Harry looked so uncomfortable there was no question about it, Potter was lying.

"MOSS?!" Draco exploded, not being able to hold it back anymore, "He needed your help with moss? Don't expect me to believe that!"

Harry frowned and his tone was suddenly very familiar to Draco, "What? What the hell does it matter anyway? I'm here now, aren't I? I apologized for being late! What more do you want?"

All the old, familiar feelings from years back towards Potter were suddenly there; that specific irritation and fury, which no-one else could wake up in him.

Draco got up, thinking he might have to go before he beat Potter up but Harry made the mistake of grabbing his arm, "Draco?"

Potter always made him lose control, always.

"Don't you fucking Draco me, Potter! You're lying! You weren't helping him with some fucking moss! What did you do with him? Did you forget you're my boyfriend? Don't expect me to let you fuck with anyone else!"

He tore his arm off and pushed Harry back a little, and although Potter looked confused, the small push made him automatically push Draco back.

It wasn't a good move since it just triggered the anger to the next level and Draco pounced on him like a lion and Potter fell down, Draco landing on top, and Potter's head made an awful thud when it hit the floor,

"Ow! Draco! What the hell? I would never cheat on you with anyone! What's wrong with you, let go!"  
Draco's fingers were on Potter's collar on their own accord and Potter growled as he was trying to rip them off.  
"What did you help him out with then, huh? Tell me the truth, you lying – "

"I promised I wouldn't tell anyone! But I'll tell you! Just let go off me first!" Potter shouted and was trying to writhe so that Draco would fall down. This all felt way too familiar. Draco let go off the collar but stayed on top of Potter, and grabbed his glasses, threw them as far as he could.

"Hey!" Potter snapped.  
Draco answered, "I'm just saving them in case I don't like your explanation! So, go on, start talking!"

Potter's eyes were bright green in anger, "Is this what you want our relationship to be like?"

Draco narrowed his eyes, "Don't try to change the subject! Explain!"

Draco couldn't remember when he'd last seen Potter this furious, the Gryffindor was clenching his jaw so tightly Draco could almost feel it in his own jaw.

"He has a crush on a girl who likes some certain flowers and he's growing them for her as a Christmas gift but he's doing it in secret, he needed my help because he needed a bigger flower pot and it's too huge for one person to carry so we spent at least 20 minutes dragging the damn pot from one room to another! That's why I was late! Is that a good excuse or are you still going to accuse me of something?"

Draco relaxed on top of Harry and sighed, he missed Potter a lot; he really didn't feel like fighting, he felt more like just kissing Harry but he knew he wouldn't be allowed to do that now.  
He muttered, "Why didn't you use a levitation charm?"

Potter was still angry, his cheeks were red with fury, "Because we tried that at first and the pot was too heavy and it got smashed and we had to get a new one!"

Draco was speechless, he could only mutter, "Oh."

Potter raised his eyebrows and spoke with a sharp tone, "Oh? Do you want me to take you to the greenhouse so you can try dragging the pot yourself? Do you want us to go to find Neville and ask him if I'm telling the truth? Do you want to attend their romantic evening on Christmas to see when he gives her the flowers?"

Draco shook his head, unable to say anything, he felt so ashamed of himself he couldn't remember the last time he'd felt so stupid.  
He decided he would never let Potter know if he ever was jealous of him again.

When Draco didn't say anything, was unable to look Potter in the eyes and stared at his neck instead, Potter sighed and muttered,  
"If you and I are in a relationship, I don't want us to keep fighting like this."

Draco couldn't look up, he hated himself right now. Potter would never love him.

Potter went on, "I don't know if we made a hasty decision and jumped into a relationship too early, maybe we should've waited and taken some time to figure out what we want from each other."

_Oh no, no, please don't, you can't leave me, I can't exist without you, I can't_, Draco thought and his throat became so constricted he couldn't have said anything even if his life depended on it.

They were quiet for a long time but then Potter's fingers brushed Draco's hair gently and without his own will he suddenly collapsed over Potter, wrapped his arms tightly around him and hid his face on the Gryffindor's neck.

Harry hugged him gently and muttered right in Draco's ear, "I know you've had some major bad things happening in your life and I can understand if you're… feeling sensitive but… let's just take it one day at a time and see how things will go, alright?"

Harry would never love him, never.

"Yes," Draco whispered but it was all he could say, he tried to take a calming breath and his lungs got filled with Potter's scent.

God, how much he hated being in love, this was far more horrible than he'd ever thought possible.  
He was Potter's slave.  
Potter was now the one and only person in the world who could decide whether Draco felt good or bad.

Of course it had to be Harry Potter of all people, Harry who always won Draco in everything, Potter who always survived anything.  
Who was Draco Malfoy then? No-one. Absolutely no-one, right now he was Potter's boyfriend, it was all he had, and Potter might leave him any day now.

All he could do was breathe in, and try to remember to breathe out too.

"Maybe we could go for a walk before trying to figure out what we're going to do with the divination assignment." Harry muttered, stroking Draco's hair.

_No, I want to stay right here and never go anywhere_, Draco thought desperately, but mumbled against the neck,  
"Okay. I'm… I didn't sleep well, I'm tired, can we stay here for like... a minute or so? And then we'll go out."

"Sure." Potter answered and kept stroking Draco's hair, Draco loved it, why couldn't it be evening already so he could to sleep with Potter. Why did he have ruin everything today? If he hadn't, then he might get some sex too, and he needed that, he needed Potter's body.  
_  
God, what's wrong with me, why can't I be happy, why can't I just pull myself together and act properly, I'm so useless…_

"Okay, let's go." Draco forced himself to say, he had no other option but to try to put on a brave face and fight back his over emotional bleeding heart.

He got up and offered Harry his hands to pull him up, then he obediently accioed Harry's glasses and they left the room to get Draco's jacket.

When they were nearing the Entrance hall Draco grabbed Harry's hand and stopped the boy.  
Potter turned to look at him questioningly, and Draco said,

"I'm sorry. I acted like an idiot. I overreacted because I saw a nightmare last night, and in that dream you were… quite promiscuous."

Harry's eyes were so green behind the glasses, Draco really liked Potter's eyes. Harry smiled a sad smile and said quietly,  
"I'll forgive you. But I meant what I said, I don't want us to have fights like that anymore."

Draco tried to smile back but it was difficult when his insides were aching, all he wanted was to hide somewhere with Potter, under a blanket maybe, and just be with him, some place warm.

"Me neither." Draco said and couldn't stop himself, he had to place his fingers on Potter's cheek; he knew he was being extraordinarily gentle but he wanted to be like that, _see how gentle I can be, just love me_.

He let his thumb trace Potter's lips and when Potter wasn't protesting but was letting his eyes get that softer, 'I like you, kiss me' look, Draco risked it and kissed him.

Right there, not caring if the whole world saw them because he was in love with Harry fucking Potter and he'd kiss him forever unless Potter stopped him.

Harry clearly didn't mind, he moaned and let Draco push his tongue in Harry's mouth, to lick his tongue, to get closer and closer and he did, he pressed his whole body against Potter and held him while he was letting himself get all dizzy with Harry's wonderfulness.

"Good afternoon Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter." Both boys were startled and Draco jumped back like he'd gotten an electric shock.

"Madam McGonagall…" Harry muttered; he was clearly breathless.  
Draco didn't say anything, simply stared at the headmistress, wondering if she was able to break up relationships between students if she didn't approve.

She didn't look surprised at all and that made Draco wonder if the rumours had already spread through the whole castle,

"What a lucky coincidence I should bump into you two, I was just thinking about how well you would fit in the roles for the Christmas play."

"What?" Potter muttered while Draco was trying to analyse McGonagall's expression, trying to see if she was approving or not but it almost looked like she was.

"Haven't you heard already? We're going to be having a Christmas play on Christmas Eve. Anyway I'm fairly sure both of you will be interested in having a role in the play so keep your eyes open when we start casting next week."

Draco blinked, confused. A play? A role in a play? No way, he wasn't going to participate in such nonsense, not ever, no matter what the role was.

"Uhm.. We haven't heard anything but thank you, we'll keep that in mind." Potter muttered and the headmistress gave a curt smile before passing them and heading towards the Slytherin dungeon.

Both boys stared after her a moment before Harry said, "Well… that was… awkward."

Draco turned to look at Harry and Merlin, the boy looked so cute, all embarrassed with red cheeks.

Draco smirked and asked with a teasing voice, "What's the matter, Mr. Potter? Not ready to come out of the closet for the whole school?"  
He placed his hands gently on Harry's chest and pushed him against the wall.

"I don't mind if people know about us but I don't like to snog in public." Harry muttered but wasn't protesting when Draco pressed up against him.

"No, I don't like to do that either, it's so unsophisticated and tacky." Draco muttered and kissed Harry gently.  
Harry made a disapproving noise in the back of his throat but obediently opened his mouth so Draco could suck his tongue.

Immediately Draco started feeling dizzy because Harry was too wonderful, he pulled back and muttered with a low voice,  
"Let's skip the walk and go to your bedroom instead."

Harry's fingers were stroking Draco's waist, but the Gryffindor didn't answer so Draco opened his eyes. Harry was watching him so Draco stared right back, waiting for an answer.

"Alright but we have to talk about the divination assignment today." Harry was trying to sound firm, like he was telling a dog where its place was. Draco gave a curt smile,

"Sure, Mr. Potter, I think that can be arranged right after some more interesting activities."

Harry grinned, "Stop calling me that, it's not funny. I can't believe she saw us and didn't even complain about it."

Draco raised his left eyebrow and gave a mischievous smile, "Maybe she thinks we belong together."

Harry shook his head disbelievingly and started pulling Draco towards the staircase.

*****  
"I should go already, otherwise I won't be back before you've fallen asleep." Harry said and smiled softly. Draco didn't let go though, he kept his arms wrapped around Potter's back,

"I know but I can't help myself, I'd much rather stay here with you."  
For once he was being totally honest, he was telling Harry the absolute truth. What he didn't tell was that he was so in love with him, it couldn't be healthy at all.

He was totally addicted and felt like he'd miss Potter as soon as he left to do the assignment.

"I know, me too." Harry said and kissed Draco's cheek.

"When will you be back?" Draco asked and watched Harry's green eyes worriedly.

Harry shrugged, "It can't take more than an hour or two, depending on how clear the sky is."

Draco pursed his lips a bit, "And you'll come to me after that?"

Harry smiled, "I could, if you want that. Are you sure Zabini won't mind if I spend the night in your room again?"

Draco shook his head, "No, he definitely doesn't mind at all. He likes you, and I assume he wants me to be with you."

"Okay." Harry said and Draco lifted his head just enough to catch Potter's lips into a kiss but Harry pulled away soon,  
"Honestly, if I don't go now I can't force myself to go at all. I'll see you in two hours if not sooner."

Draco let him free and Harry got up and started pulling his clothes on before opening the curtain. Draco pulled the blanket on tighter, missing Potter's warmth already, he was in no hurry and he asked,  
"Are you sure I can't come with you?"

Harry shook his head, "No. I'm not going to take any risk of something happening to you. I want you to stay inside and wait for me."

Draco rolled his eyes, "I'm not some teenage girl, I can take care of myself."

Harry frowned a little, "Look, I've already once gotten you out of a coffin, I don't want to take any unnecessary risks, that would be just stupid so stop arguing about it."

Draco sighed with irritation, Potter was quite stubborn. Draco didn't say anything until Potter was dressed up and ready to face the Scottish winter.

Potter came back by the bed and leaned down to kiss Draco one more time. Draco's heart started beating wildly even before Harry placed a hand on his neck.

Draco felt like purring, he felt like giving up all control and let Potter own him forever.  
He kissed Potter back fiercely. _Don't go, love me…  
_  
Harry pulled back and sighed, the knowledge of the two next hours spent without Harry felt painful.

"I'll see you soon." Potter muttered, straightened himself and headed towards the door.  
Draco had to bite his lip not to start telling Harry how he'd missed him, how he missed him already now when he knew he was going so he didn't say anything.

Harry left and Draco missed him, he sighed and decided to stay in Potter's bed for a while.

*****  
Draco was pacing back and forth, he made another tempus charm just to see that it was only two minutes more than the last he cast it. What was taking Potter so long? Why wasn't he here already? It was more than two hours ago when he left, and past curfew.

Blaise had kept his curtains closed but now Draco was unable to hold back any longer, he needed someone to calm him down, as all kinds of wild thoughts were flying through his head.  
What if something had happened to Potter? What if Potter had started to think about their relationship and was having second thoughts?

All Draco knew was that Harry had said today that he was thinking they might've jumped into a relationship too fast. Didn't that mean Potter was regretting all of this?

Potter wasn't in love with Draco, he was certain about it. What if Potter thought he was violent and crazy? He had told Potter about how the dream had affected him, wasn't that a little unnerving? Potter hadn't said anything about it.

He marched to Blaise's bed and pulled the curtain open but what met him was a sight he wasn't expecting. The bed was empty. Where the hell was Blaise? It was past curfew, and Draco didn't know if Blaise ever went out after curfew.

"You too, Blaise?" He muttered, feeling betrayed when there was no-one to talk to.

"Argh!" He shouted and continued pacing around.

He knew he was acting like an idiot again but he couldn't help it. All of his thoughts consisted of Potter and he was so worried because Potter didn't love him back, it was torture.

He lay down on his bed and cast another tempus charm. It was five minutes more now. He forced himself to inhale and exhale slowly, trying to calm down.

He started talking to himself aloud, thinking it might clear his head, if it would help him get the thoughts to quiet down,  
"It's okay, it's all okay. He'll be back soon. Nothing's happened to him and he likes me. Doesn't he? He must like me…"  
It didn't help at all, he felt even more stupid now.

Oh Merlin, he felt so anxious he'd be happy to talk to anyone right now, even with the weasel but he had told Harry he'd be here so he couldn't leave the room.

He cast another tempus charm. Five minutes more. He sighed and started biting his finger nails. What if Potter would leave him? What if Potter liked someone else more than him? What if Potter was planning on ditching him? What if Potter was somewhere right now planning how to do it? What if Potter would come here tonight just to tell he thought this wasn't working?

Why hadn't Draco asked Potter if he was happy?

"Oh God…" He groaned aloud and continued to bite his fingernails.

What if someone had kidnapped Harry? What if he was dead? No, that wasn't possible.

He was lonely, so lonely. He didn't want to think about his parents but he missed them terribly, he hadn't even been to their grave, not even once, because he couldn't.

His father would be so disappointed if he knew what Draco had become. Draco had become a sensitive nervous wreck with a non-existent self-control, and no control over anything.

Suddenly he heard stomping footsteps and laughter behind the door of the room, and right after the door flew open and there was Potter, with no other than Blaise Zabini and they were both covered in snow and laughing.

Draco was so angry he couldn't say anything. The snow dripping Gryffindor and Slytherin said almost simultaneously, "Hi."

Draco narrowed his eyes and muttered, "You're late."

Potter was trying to get rid of the snowy jacket and raised his eyebrows before pulling his hat off, "I am?"

"Yes." Draco said and made another tempus charm. Potter had been away for two and half hours!

"Oh, I had no idea. I'm sorry." Harry's tone was a bit hesitant; it struck Draco that Potter might think Draco would react the same way as last time, which wasn't impossible since Potter still looked too happy and it was easy to tell he'd been doing something else besides gazing stars.

Draco was so disappointed and the jealousy nagged him although he tried to remain calm.

Potter would surely have some good explanation; Potter hadn't been doing anything wrong, Draco was certain about it but he still felt betrayed, because he'd been so worried and simply sitting, and waiting while Potter must've been doing something fun.

It was Blaise who answered Draco's unasked question, "We, Weasley and Longbottom happened to be in the same destination and ended up having a snowball fight."

Longbottom? Again? What if Potter had lied in the afternoon, Draco hadn't even once thought Potter's story about the huge flower pot wasn't true because the Gryffindor had looked honest when he said it.

And a snowball fight? While Draco had been here biting his nails in distress, and wondering if Potter was kidnapped or leaving him? How infuriating!

He clenched his jaw but decided there was no point attacking Potter this time; they would have to talk about it after Draco had calmed down. He was way too disappointed and angry to talk about anything right now so he tried to keep his voice polite and muttered,

"Okay. I'm tired, goodnight Blaise."

He turned to his side and pulled the blanket all the way up, covering even his face under it. He bit his lip so hard he thought it might start bleeding and he was so, so angry he couldn't believe it was true. He was jealous of Potter.  
He was jealous Potter had been having fun, while Draco had been longing after him.

He was too much in love.  
This wasn't normal; or healthy, and this relationship would never work, but there was no way he could leave Potter because he couldn't live without him.

He was way too sure Potter would leave him (and then his heart would rip into two, or more pieces) if he started complaining about anything, so it would be better to stay quiet, try to swallow the anger and try to get used to all these horrible, painful feelings.

How could anyone ever love someone and be happy? That was so unbelievable, Draco couldn't understand that at all. And yet, when he thought about other people, he thought people usually looked very happy when they were in love.  
_I'm a freak_, he thought.

The bed moved under him as Potter got in, and the cold fingers found their way under Draco's shirt and on his ribs, he twitched but didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise what the time was." Potter muttered and kissed Draco's clothed shoulder. Draco was hot because they were under the blanket and now that Potter was pressed up against him, it was getting too hot but he didn't want to pull the blanket away, so he stayed unmoving.

He bit his lip hard and forced his voice to work, trying his best to hide the icy tone which was trying to take over, "No worries. Goodnight."

He wasn't tired at all but he was certain he'd start a fight if he tried to talk with Potter. He would just have to stay awake and suffer some more, like it hadn't been awful enough already.  
The day had been like a nightmare, Draco thought.

He couldn't remember ever feeling this sensitive about someone, and having this many different feelings which were all painful.  
The different shades of pain, he thought, and most of those were something he thought he'd never felt before.

"Are you mad at me?" Potter asked and held his head up but Draco was certain the Gryffindor couldn't see his face in the darkness, especially now that it was pitch black underneath the hot blanket.

He swallowed, he wanted to lie everything was okay although everything felt like shit.  
He couldn't lie, so he stayed quiet.

Potter sighed and said, "I know you're not asleep so just tell me. You're mad at me because I was late but why? I didn't do it on purpose and I'm sorry."

Draco sighed too. Why couldn't Potter just give up and go to sleep.

He was so afraid he might start a fight now but he turned around and Potter moved enough to let him do that.  
It was so dark he couldn't see anything, he said, "I was worried about you, that's why."

Potter pulled the blanket away from their heads and now Draco could see him, he was leaning over Draco and frowning, "You don't need to be worried about me, I'm fine."

Draco didn't say anything, he really badly wanted to just kiss Harry but he was afraid Potter might reject him.  
"You should be more worried about yourself," Potter muttered.

Draco tensed, was this Potter's way of telling he was about to leave Draco?

"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco asked, fearing for the worst.

Harry sighed, "I think… I think that you're… I don't know, maybe it's just me but I think you're a little too sensitive about everything. I think you should try to relax a little."

The words hurt like Harry had just fired an arrow on his heart. He didn't know what he was supposed to answer but he felt cold with fear. Potter might leave him; Potter was saying he couldn't handle him.

Harry swallowed and started stuttering, "I mean… I… you get so easily angry with me and… well we do have our past and… I don't know, it's like… no matter what I do, you're not happy."

What should Draco do and say? He couldn't tell Potter he loved him and that was why he was acting like an idiot and being over sensitive.

Draco sighed, "Maybe I've been a little too sensitive then, but I guess that's what I'm like when I'm with someone."

Harry asked, "How do people usually deal with that?"

Now that sentence hurt too. Was Draco really that horrible?

"They don't. I haven't been with anyone." Draco said but his tone had slipped out of his control and it was cold.  
It was the truth; he had never been with anyone. He had never been in a relationship, and he had never been in love.

He usually kept people far enough so he didn't get any emotions and didn't have to deal with them.

"Oh, right," Potter muttered, embarrassed.

Draco wasn't sure he could handle the situation much longer; it was getting too near to the point where he would be left with no other choice than to admit he was in love and he would never do that.  
Especially not now that he was certain Potter didn't even like him that much – If he'd liked Draco more, then he wouldn't have stayed outside playing some fucking snowball fight, no, he would've gotten back in and fucked Draco senseless!

He wanted to ask Potter if he was thinking about breaking up with him but he was too afraid, what if Potter answered yes?  
No, he had to know!

"Are you leaving me?" Draco asked and held his breath, trying to brace himself for the answer although he knew he would die if Potter answered 'yes'.

Potter shook his head and whispered, "No."

Draco swallowed, he didn't feel relieved at all, and whispered, "Then fuck me."

Draco placed his hand on Potter's chest, ran it all the way down to the hem and started pulling it off. Harry got up enough to pull it off himself, and started undressing Draco, who got up too to get rid of rest of their clothing.

Harry placed his hands on both sides of Draco's head and kept him in place while he confirmed,

"You're still mad at me."

"No, I'm not, fuck me." Draco demanded.

Potter kissed him, Draco bit his lower lip and pulled Potter back down with him, wrapping his arms around Potter so he wouldn't be able to escape. Potter lifted his head and his tone was firm,

"Admit it. You're angry, I can feel it."

Draco started looking for his wand under his pillow with his right hand while he snapped,

"Fine! I am!" He found the wand and grabbed Potter's hand and made a lubrication spell on it.

Potter was a tiny bit confused, he looked at his hand and rubbed the lube between his fingers, Draco lifted his head and sank his teeth underneath Potter's ear and started sucking.

He stroked Potter's warm skin on his back and rubbed himself against him and he was suddenly so turned on he couldn't believe it was possible but then again, everything was possible when he was with Harry Potter.

Harry moaned under his teeth and started kissing Draco's neck, then his chest, licking the scar on the way down, kissing his hipbones while he started to rub the lube on Draco's crack.

Draco moaned and didn't care if the whole world would hear him; he let his hand stay on Potter's shoulder and squeezed it, and rubbed it as Potter was rubbing his skin.

Potter penetrated him gently with one finger and Draco bit his lip as the uncomfortable feeling was intruding in the middle of his wonderful lusty emotions.

He made a sound in the back of his throat and felt impatient, "I want more."

Potter grinned and Draco liked his expression a lot, Potter's eyes were glowing with lusty feelings and it just made Draco feel more aroused. Harry pushed the second finger in and Draco squeezed his eyes shut but opened then soon as it didn't feel as painful as he thought it would.

He tried to keep himself all relaxed and rubbed Harry's neck with his fingers.  
Harry pushed the fingers deeper in, stretched him, muttering, "You're too tight."

Draco moaned in the back of his throat and Harry started rubbing his cock too, it felt amazing, better than anything ever and he let his eyes close in pleasure.

"More," He moaned, he was too impatient and hurrying things up to get to the moment, which he was really looking for.

"Alright but it will hurt," Harry muttered but obediently tried to push the third finger in. Draco clenched his jaw and closed his eyes, it did hurt, but he didn't mind.

Potter could hurt him forever and it would be alright, he wouldn't mind, he would love the suffering just as much as he loved the boy who was giving him it.

He moaned again and Harry rubbed his cock so nicely he embraced the uncomfortable feeling, letting Harry stretch him up some more. Potter kissed his inner thighs and Draco opened his eyes to look at him.

He loved him, Merlin how much he loved him, he muttered, "That feels good."

Harry opened his eyes and looked Draco in the eyes, "Doesn't hurt?"

Draco shook his head slowly and closed his eyes again, loving it all.

He couldn't wait, he wouldn't mind if it hurt like hell, "Fuck me." He whispered.

"Already?" Harry asked and began sucking Draco's cock. Draco's eyes flew open and he stared at the Gryffindor's dark head swallowing him down his throat.

Draco moaned loudly before being able to form any words, he hissed, "Yes."

Harry was perfect, he pulled his fingers out and got up, crawling on top of Draco and muttering, "You absolutely sure?"

Draco wrapped his arms around him and pulled him closer to kiss him, gently, and then passionately, pushing his tongue in, rubbing it against Harry's tongue.

He wrapped his legs around Harry too, trying to find out where to put his feet, so he could get Potter in the right place, and have him as close as possible at the same time.

"Fuck me" He said, and he was close to start begging, he couldn't wait, he wanted it right now.

The adrenaline was mixed in all the lusty feelings and he was losing all control over himself, he could feel how his body was making up all the decisions for him, and he wasn't fighting back one bit.

Potter wasn't hesitating at all, he placed himself and started pushing in, and Draco had to close his eyes and bite his lip.

It did hurt. It didn't matter, but it did hurt. Harry was being gentle, pushing in ever so slowly and Draco felt impatient all the while.

Draco growled as the pain got stronger; he tilted his head back and bit his lip hard.

"Do you want me to stop?" Harry asked and Draco took a deep breath as he whined,  
"No, don't stop."

The pain was alright but it made him twitch and moan.  
He pulled Harry closer and he could feel Potter's cock going so deep he thought he might faint but he had to kiss Potter now, and so he did. He breathed hastily in through his nose as he realised he had forgotten to breathe because of the pain.

Potter was moving ever so gently but the kiss was rough and Draco liked it. He bit Harry's lower lip and then sucked Potter's tongue, moaning in the back of his throat. He felt dizzy.

He pulled away from the kiss and whispered into Harry's ear, "Harder."

Harry kissed his neck gently and muttered, "Aren't you in pain?"

Draco lifted his legs a little bit higher on Harry's back and whispered, "Yeah but I want you too badly."  
Then he bit Harry's earlobe gently.

Harry lifted his head and looked Draco in the eyes, "So you like it rough?"

Draco smirked, "Yes, Potter, with you everything's like that."

Harry grinned and his movements changed from gentle into exactly that, rougher and harder.

Draco moaned and bit Harry's shoulder. He was so happy right now, the physical pain felt very good, it made him forget all the fragile feelings he'd had lately.

It made him forget everything and concentrate only on satisfying his body, which was currently begging for Potter to help him with it.

He could've done this all night but he needed to come, he needed to so he forced his hand to fit in between, and started rubbing his cock. He felt so good he wanted to tell Potter he loved him, but instead he bit Harry's shoulder a bit harder, and took a deep breath through his nose.

Potter was pounding him harder, and harder, and Draco threw his head back, and moaned uncontrollably, he tried to form words but they came out with multiple 'ah, ah' sounds,  
"So good, don't stop."

He was fisting his cock violently and thinking his body would get torn to pieces because it was too much and too good, way better than anything ever, and Harry felt perfect, so perfect. He felt so dizzy with lust.

"Please don't stop," He moaned and clenched his jaw, and the climax was too close now, he could only fist himself harder and try to remember to breathe.

Suddenly he was falling again, falling fast over the edge, again falling completely in love and he tried to gasp for breath but he couldn't. Everything went black, "Harry, I l–"


	15. A break, or a break-up?

Chapter 15 _**A break, or a break-up?**_

"Draco?" Someone was slapping him in the face and he felt dizzy but managed to open his eyes. It was dark and Potter was staring at him frowning.

"Are you okay?" Potter asked, and Draco swallowed, he tried to look around and realised he was in his bed with Potter.

"What happened?" His throat was dry and voice hoarse.

"You fainted." Potter muttered and Draco took a deep breath and muttered, "Oh."

He remembered it now, they were fucking and… what?

"Did I black out in the middle of… when I was coming?" Draco asked and found himself grinning.

"Apparently, yes. Merlin, you have no idea how you scared me. I thought I hurt you." Potter muttered and Draco could tell from his worried face the boy was devastated.

He stroke Harry's face and said, "Quite a coming then. You're amazing."

Harry sighed, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Better than ever." He pulled Potter into a kiss and felt so good, perfect.  
He still felt like telling Potter he loved him.

He pulled back just a little and muttered into Harry's lips, "Harry, I… I –"

But Potter kissed him, furiously, he sucked Draco's tongue with force and Draco moaned in surprise but wrapped his arms a little tighter around him.  
_Well, maybe I can tell him tomorrow, after I've given him the best blowjob ever_, Draco thought and smiled.

Potter kissed him so long, he was starting to feel dizzy again and had to pull back, "I need to breathe."

Potter kissed him on the forehead and whispered, "We should get some sleep. You have no idea how tired I am."

Draco took a deep breath and muttered, "Yeah, me too."

He felt content and tired. Potter moved enough to lie down next to him and wrapped his arm around Draco.  
"Sweet dreams, Draco Malfoy." Harry said and kissed Draco's shoulder.

Draco closed his eyes and wrapped his leg around Harry's, "Sweet dreams, Harry Potter."

He could feel Harry grin against his shoulder, Draco smiled contentedly, took one last deep breath and let the tiredness wash over, and he fell asleep faster than he thought possible, feeling perfect.

ooOoOoo  
The next morning when Draco woke up Harry was already gone. He was disappointed Harry hadn't woken him up before leaving.

He sighed, he was feeling alright. He loved Harry Potter and it didn't feel that bad right now, even though he already missed him.

He started getting ready for breakfast and found Blaise waiting for him when he came out of the bathroom, still unsure if his hair looked just perfect today.

Blaise smiled and said, "Yes, it's perfect, let's go."

ooOoOoo  
Draco and Harry hadn't talked about seeing today but it didn't even cross Draco's mind they wouldn't be spending time together, so he went to search for Potter after their last class.

"Potter," He shouted as he saw the famous Gryffindor trio walking up a staircase.

All three of them turned around and looked at him. He swallowed but went to them.

"Hi," Harry smiled and Draco wondered what the other two must be thinking.

He really felt like talking with Harry but not having the others there staring at him but apparently Harry could read his thoughts because he said,  
"I was about to come looking for you. Let's go somewhere…"

They headed down the stairs and ended up going outside although it was snowing, and they didn't have their jackets.  
Harry crossed his arms over his chest, trying to stay warm, and Draco felt like hugging him but there was something in Harry's expression that made him hesitate.

"Draco, I…" Harry muttered and Draco felt nervous. Something was wrong.  
He didn't know what but something was clearly wrong. _Oh no, don't leave me now, please don't…_

"What is it?" Draco asked and frowned. He didn't think he needed to hide the fact he could see something wasn't right.

Potter looked down, then right and finally lifted his gaze up to look at Draco in the eyes and his eyes were so green because it was bright outside.

Harry said, "I promised Ron and Hermione I'd spend the evening with them. I haven't talked with them in ages."

This was it? Surely this wasn't all the boy was thinking?

"Alright, so?" Draco asked and narrowed his eyes a little. The Gryffindor was hiding something.

Harry shrugged, "So… nothing, I guess. I just thought you should know so you're not expecting me to show up or anything."

Draco clenched his jaw. Was there something in this sentence he didn't understand or why was Potter still looking like that, worried and hesitant?

"Okay." Was all he could mutter, he didn't know how he should ask about Potter's thoughts.

Then he frowned, "But we're still meeting later tonight, right?"

Harry looked down again. That wasn't a good sign. Draco shivered with cold and wrapped his arms around his waist.  
The snowflakes were descending on Harry's hair and Draco felt like brushing them off but refrained.  
Harry muttered,

"Well I was thinking that… I think I need to sleep alone for one night, to… get some proper sleep. I've been feeling very tired, there's so much school stuff to do and…"

Were these excuses?

"And when I sleep with you, I can't get enough sleep because we're always… doing things. Well, you know what I mean. When I'm with you, I can't sleep properly, and that's fine, but I need to get some sleep right now."

Harry lifted his gaze to meet Draco's narrowed eyes and Draco automatically clenched his jaw.  
_So… Potter couldn't sleep with him. That's… that was fine.  
No it's not fine! It's definitely not fine. How am I supposed to sleep without him?  
_  
"Fine." Draco said and his tone had the icy edge although he tried to hide it.

"So… you're okay with that?" Harry asked and sighed in what could only be interpreted as relief, it irritated Draco.

"Of course I'm okay with that. You need to sleep and you can't sleep when I'm around, I get that."  
He tried to make it sound as casual as possible but he knew Potter heard the irritation.

Draco clenched his jaw and turned his head enough to stare into somewhere far away, just to avoid Potter's eyes.

"I knew you'd be like that." Harry said and his voice was clearly meant to be calm but Draco could hear the irritation behind it too.

This wasn't good, Draco knew it; this wasn't working as well as it should've been.

"Can you look at me?" Potter said, and the irritation was now stronger.

Draco really felt like ignoring Potter, making him angry but forced himself to look Harry in the eyes.  
Potter was clenching his jaw too, Potter was frustrated; Draco knew that expression too well.

"I need to spend some time with my friends and I need to sleep one night alone. I don't think I'm asking too much. Do you think that I'm asking too much?"

Harry lifted his eyebrows and Draco had no other option but to shake his head, "No."

Harry sighed. Draco let his jaw relax, he needed to try to stay calm.  
They used to be enemies and moments like these could easily turn into fistfights, and Potter had said he didn't want that.  
Draco also knew he was over reacting to things because he was in love, he knew he was being too sensitive, and impossible but he couldn't stop feeling disappointed that Potter chose his friends and sleeping over spending time with Draco.

The more he thought about it, the more he felt like he really needed to spend time with Potter tonight.

The way Potter was sighing now once again made Draco feel like he needed Potter, he needed Potter to be with him and be happy, tell Draco he loved him.  
That day would never come, Draco knew that. Potter would never be happy with him but Draco wouldn't let him go if he could stop it somehow.

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow then." Harry said and looked Draco in the eyes.

Draco looked back but couldn't force himself say anything, he knew he should've said something like 'That's fine, my darling, have a nice day with your friends' or something else just as stupid, but he couldn't.

He swallowed. Potter was disappointed in him, and Draco would never be enough for him.

Potter probably wanted someone who was nice and calm, and floated through life like water.  
Draco wasn't like that.  
Draco was a dragon with a temper, and had a personality that needed a lot of patience from the other.

He had never thought about it, but if he thought about it now, he thought Potter should've been like that. Potter should've been strong enough to handle Draco.

So he didn't say anything and Potter turned to leave but Draco grabbed his arm. Potter almost jumped at that and Draco frowned. Why did Harry get so startled?

He forgot his irritation as he thought he'd scared Harry, he said, "Harry…" and loosened his fingers on the boy's arm so Harry could pull it away if he wanted to.

Harry looked him in the eyes and Draco tried to read the emotions hidden in there.  
So he had scared Harry, why was that?  
Because of the… because of what Draco had once done, or because they used to be enemies, or was there yet another possibility he didn't know about?

It made him ask, "Did I just startle you?"

Harry sighed; it was in relief, so Draco knew the answer already before the words,

"Yeah, maybe just a little. It's still a bit weird… you know. You and me, I mean. With the past we have."

Harry tried to smile a little but Draco wasn't fooled by it, "Are you scared of me?"

Harry's lips turned into a real smile,  
"You wish! No, I'm not scared of you! It's just that I'm so used to fighting with you, I sort of expect it to happen even when I'm not consciously thinking about it."

That was a good answer, Draco thought, he could understand that perfectly well.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked.

He wasn't sure how Harry would feel about it, and he really didn't need to first try to kiss Potter, if Potter would push him away.

Harry raised his eyebrows a little but then closed his eyes and tilted his head a little, so Draco leaned in and kissed him.  
Potter's lips were cold but his tongue was warm and Draco really didn't want to stop.  
He placed his hand on Potter's hipbone and squeezed the skin through the clothing.

Draco needed him so he wrapped his arms around Potter's lower back and pressed up against him.  
Potter pulled his head away and muttered with red, swollen lips, "I need to go."

Draco frowned and tightened his hold on the Gryffindor but Harry was now trying to push him away,  
"No, you don't. Stay with me… just for five minutes." Draco said.

Potter was shaking his head, "No. No, I can't. I have to go now."

"But why?" Draco asked and still didn't let Harry go.

"If I stay then I'll never leave, and I need to go."

Potter was pushing Draco away with more force now and Draco gave up and opened his arms so Harry could stumble back before finding his balance again.  
He gave a small frown to Draco, who clenched his jaw in the loss of the boy's warmth.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Harry muttered and left quickly. Draco didn't find any words to say and bit his lip frowning.

Something was wrong with Potter.

ooOoOoo  
Draco was missing Potter a lot, he was tossing and turning in his bed and was unable to think about anything else than Potter.  
He was very worried. He wondered what Potter had in mind.

The more he thought about it, the more certain he felt that Potter didn't like him anymore.  
He tried to stop thinking about if Potter might found someone else but it was impossible.

He should trust Potter, he really should. He should trust the fact that they weren't enemies anymore, and there was no reason for Potter to hurt him in any way.  
He should trust the fact that they were in a relationship now and Potter wouldn't be with someone else, no, Potter wasn't like that.  
Potter would tell him if he had started fancying someone else.

Maybe it was exactly that.  
Maybe Potter did fancy someone else and was thinking about leaving Draco because of that.  
Maybe Potter was with that someone else right now, trying to find out if he had enough feelings for the other person, so he could come to Draco and leave him.

He couldn't calm down, he was so worried and anxious; he was biting his fingernails again although he hated himself for doing so.  
He had never done that before this autumn.  
Also he couldn't stop himself from biting his lower lip although he didn't want the small scratch to scar, he really should ask Potter to heal it.

He got up and went to Blaise's bed, and pulled the curtain open, "Blaise?"

Blaise had his hand underneath his underwear, and pulled it hastily away, "For Merlin's sake, Malfoy! Can't you knock?"

Draco frowned and his eyes automatically went to the tent in Blaise's underwear, he couldn't stop himself from grinning, he drawled,  
"I'm sorry, I tried to knock but you know what these curtains are like…"

Blaise sighed and glared at Draco, pulling his blanket over his lower body, "What do you want?"

Draco sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at Blaise with a serious face, "I need to talk with someone."

Blaise's expression grew serious too, "What's wrong?"

Draco hesitated; he had never really opened up to Blaise about anything although he knew his Slytherin friend some amazing ability to sometimes see right through Draco's camouflage of ignorance.

"It's about Potter," Draco said and concentrated on seeing what happened behind Blaise's eyes.

Nothing much happened there, and the Slytherin said, "I'm not surprised. Tell me."

Draco swallowed, this was it; after this he would officially consider Blaise as his closest friend,

"I'm sure you already know, I don't want you to ever talk about this to anyone." Draco muttered.

"Yeah, I know. I won't. Go on." Blaise was being pushy, Draco didn't know if he liked that at all, so he frowned a little but Blaise was unaffected by it.

"I'm in a relationship with him," Draco said, he had assumed Blaise knew that but he wanted to make sure Blaise knew it was a relationship and not some… meaningless one night stand or a meaningless joke or anything.

Blaise rolled his eyes, "I know, Potter told me. Although I knew it already way back."

Draco went silent, and then asked, "What?"

Blaise sighed, "Can't you remember? That one time when we were eating breakfast, and you claimed you hated him and all that, and then you left. I knew you were having a relationship already back then."

Draco frowned and muttered, "No. Blaise, you've been wrong. I've been with him less than a week."

Now Blaise did look surprised and muttered, "Oh."

"Well anyway… I'm… I'm worried." Draco said, he was confused by what Blaise just said and couldn't remember what he had been planning to say to Blaise before.

"About what?" Blaise asked.

"About… That he might… leave me or something." Draco muttered and started picking at his nails.

He didn't know why it felt like some big secret he liked Potter so much. He almost felt like pretending the Gryffindor meant nothing but it was impossible, he needed to talk about stuff to get some sort of balance on his emotions.

Blaise was quiet for so long, Draco looked at him. The Slytherin said, "Uhm…"

Draco asked, "What? You know he's going to leave me, is that it?"

Blaise looked shocked, "No! No, definitely not! I'm just surprised to hear you talk about him when you haven't been doing it before although we both know I've known you've fancied him forever."

Draco frowned, "I haven't fancied him that long!"

Blaise rolled his eyes, "Oh please. Anyway I don't think he would leave you so… just calm down, take it easy, and it'll go fine."

Draco wasn't feeling confident at all, "You think so?"

"Yeah. But I do think you should relax a little. You're taking it all too seriously if it's true that you've only been together for less than a week. In that case, you should really take it easy and not be so… stressed out about it." Blaise said.

Draco sighed, he knew every word was true, Blaise was absolutely right. He muttered,

"That's just it. I can't stop worrying. I can't spend even a minute without thinking about him. Do you think I might be under a curse?"

He looked up from his nails and saw Blaise smiling a little, "I'm so glad you asked that. I was wondering that before but no, you're not under a curse. Not a love potion or anything like that, at least."

Draco frowned, "How would you know?"

Blaise simply said, "Well usually you don't know or suspect being under a curse if you really are that. Right? Isn't that how they are usually designed, love potions and sorts I mean, that you're the only one who can't see it…"

Draco closed his eyes briefly in relief, "You're right, good thinking."

Blaise shrugged, "I think that maybe you're just being sensitive about being with him because the two of you have always had such a… fierce relationship. It makes sense to me. Of course you're worried when you're with him because you've always reacted to him so exceptionally strongly."

Draco started picking his nails again, "That's true, I can admit that. I've never been able to feel ignorant towards him, no matter what I've done. It's been like that from the start, from the first day I met him. But that's exactly it…"

He glanced at Blaise before going on, "He rejected me back then, he's always done that. I've never been enough for him, and I never will be. He'll leave me, Blaise, he'll leave me, I know it."

Blaise gave him a curt smile, "He's with you now, and he would never be with you if he didn't think you're enough for him."

Draco sighed, he didn't think Blaise understood. Blaise didn't know everything they'd had going on with Potter. Blaise didn't know what kind of things Draco had done.

Finally Draco shook his head a little and muttered, "No. I've been awful to him. I'm an asshole, and he won't be able to handle that. He wants something else, something better and he should get that, he should get someone nice, and not someone like me."

Draco was startled when Blaise suddenly placed his hand on Draco's head and ruffled his hair,

"I never thought I'd one day see Draco Malfoy in love. Now I've seen it all and should I die, I'd be happy to know that I've witnessed this."

Draco pulled the boy's hand away from his head but gave a curt smile, "How can I calm down?"

Blaise raised his eyebrows, "How about a calming potion? I have one in my trunk, feel free to use it."

Draco shook his head, "No. I want to be calmer as a person. How can I achieve it?"

Blaise shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe you could talk with him about it."

Of course. Draco should go and meet Potter right now. That would calm him down. Potter would surely understand and say something comforting. Maybe he could tell Potter he loved him. What would Potter say to that?

Draco asked, "He said he wanted to sleep alone tonight. Can I still go and meet him? I need to talk to him."

Blaise shook his head firmly, "No! If he said he wants to be alone then you should respect that and give him enough space to breathe. You guys are still in the beginning. Show him that you can take it easy."

Draco sighed, "Alright. I guess you're right."

He got up and looked at Blaise for a moment until Blaise quirked his eyebrow questioningly.

Draco shook his head and turned to go.  
Blaise said, "Goodnight, Draco." And pulled the curtain shut before Draco had the time to reply.

He sat down on the edge of his bed and wondered whether he really should take the calming potion.  
No, he didn't want that. He wanted to go to Potter and talk with him. I was easy to talk with Blaise, although he was a bit worried how much Blaise knew about him even though he had never really talked with him like that before.

He needed to talk to Potter. He needed to open up about everything.

So he wrapped himself in the warm, black robe and left the Slytherin dungeon quietly.  
When he was upstairs he was pleased the Gryffindors still hadn't changed their password and this time the Fat Lady (as Draco now knew her) let him in with a smile.

Once he was in Harry's bedroom he stripped of the black robe, letting it pile up near the bed before opening the curtain and crawling in.  
Harry stirred and slurred something as Draco stripped down to his underwear, and threw his wand in the pile of clothes after that. He pulled the curtain shut and crawled underneath the blanket.

Harry's skin was so warm, he loved it, he didn't know he was freezing until now that he began to melt against the warm body.  
"Draco?" Potter muttered and stretched in between all of Draco's limbs that had wrapped themselves around the Gryffindor without him even really noticing it.

"I needed to talk to you." Draco explained and gave a kiss on Harry's arm.

Harry sighed and muttered with a sleepy voice, "What's wrong?"

Draco gave him another kiss, this time on his neck, "Nothing's wrong, I just want to talk to you about… things. And I missed you."

Harry didn't move and Draco could hear in his breathing he'd fallen back asleep. He stroked the boy's skin underneath his fingers, tried to dig his non-existent nails in the skin to give a wake-up call.

"Hey," Draco said and shook him gently, "Wake up. I need to talk to you."

Harry stirred, "What? No. Draco…" He yawned, "I need to sleep. Honestly."

Draco didn't reply anything because Harry was trying to crawl into a ball, ignoring Draco's arms and legs around him.

"Harry…" He whispered, suffering at the loss of attention.

"We'll talk tomorrow. Now, honestly, let me sleep." Harry said and Draco could hear the Gryffindor was irritated.

Draco sighed but knew it was useless to try again, they'd start a fight if he didn't let Potter be so he relaxed and wrapped his arm a little tighter around Potter, who made a small sound of irritation but fell asleep right after.

He swallowed, trying to reassure himself that everything was fine and Potter was simply tired and wasn't ignoring Draco on purpose, and wasn't thinking about breaking up with him but it was useless.

Potter would break up with him. Tomorrow maybe. There was no other explanation.  
Potter was clearly fed up with Draco, and there wasn't anyone he could blame for it except himself.  
He'd been too difficult, and Potter didn't want to be with someone like that.  
Potter was his boyfriend, but Potter wasn't his, not the way Draco was Potter's.

He stayed awake for a long time, trying to concentrate on Potter's deep breathing; trying to tell himself that everything would be okay tomorrow, and he could sleep right now without fearing for the worst.

ooOoOoo

Draco gave another kiss on Potter's shoulder, then arm and then he hid his nose in the hair in the back of Potter's neck. Potter stirred and stretched, Draco didn't say anything and let Potter turn around to face him.  
Potter rubbed his eyes before muttering sleepily, "Morning."

Draco let his eyes linger on Potter's forehead before replying, "Good morning. Did you get enough sleep?"

Potter smiled a little, "Yeah. You?"

Draco nodded and ran his fingers along Potter's arm.

"Draco, we need to talk. Can we meet in your room after the last class?"

There it was again, just when Draco had been feeling alright and not thinking about anything.

Draco looked Harry in the eyes, wishing he didn't see the worried thoughts there, but he did, "Sure. I guess I'll see you then."

He got up and started dressing up, not even expecting Potter to say anything, which he also didn't.

Draco took one last glance at him before opening the door and leaving, but Potter didn't say anything, he simply watched Draco leave.

That was it then; Potter would break up with him today.

ooOoOoo

"Hi." Potter said when he stepped into the room.  
Draco was sitting on his bed, leaning on the wall and muttered almost sadly, "Hi."

When Potter came into his full view and looked at Draco, he could see that Harry looked sad.

_Oh fuck, he's really going to do it…  
_  
Harry climbed on the bed next to Draco and leaned on the wall.  
When Harry didn't say anything, Draco thought he might just as well stay quiet too because there was no rush; Potter had come here to ditch him, so there was no point in doing anything.

Maybe if he told Harry he loved him it might make him change his mind. It was a long shot but he didn't have anything to lose, so he said,  
"Harry, I –"

"No! I need to speak first. I was just looking for the right words."

Draco closed his mouth. Harry moved enough so he could cross his legs in the knee and look Draco in the eyes.  
Although the Gryffindor had moved just a little, it felt like he was suddenly at a far distance.

"Draco, you're the first boy I've ever been with. I like you, I really do but…" Harry shook his head and sighed,

"I need more time. I need time to think about all that's happened between you and me. We've only been together like a couple of days or so but already I'm… I'm feeling like… you're not at all what I thought you were -"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Draco asked although he clearly interrupted the sentence.

"Look, don't get me wrong and don't get mad. I'm trying to say that… I really don't know you at all, and everything's happened so fast that now I'm sort of…" Harry sighed again,

"I'm tired, already now, although everything's just begun. I want to spend time with my friends, and I need time alone but you're so sensitive constantly… I can hardly say anything to you without you snapping and getting all… weird."

Draco swallowed. He really didn't feel like telling Potter he loved him anymore.

Harry's gaze had dropped in his hands, he was picking at his nails, and Draco simply watched him do that. He could see when Harry lifted his gaze back to Draco's face but Draco kept his eyes firmly on Potter's fingers.

"I've always been close with my friends, I need social contacts, and I can see that you spend a lot of time alone if you're not with Blaise. I can't be with you constantly, although I get the feeling that it's what you want. Also I've been wondering why you're so sensitive, and I hate to say this but some things that have happened have an effect on my feelings too, and I don't know if… I don't know if we can make this work so that we'd both be happy."

Draco wasn't sure but he thought he might've stopped breathing a long time ago because now he was getting a bit dizzy, but all he could feel was the knowledge that it was happening now, and he didn't have any back-up plan to save himself from the loneliness that would come soon.

Harry was silent but when Draco didn't say anything, he went on,

"I know you like me, and I like you too but I don't know if that's enough. I think you might have some issues that we haven't talked about, and you haven't dealt with, and I think the best solution for us both would be that we kept a break… "

Yes, there it comes, Draco thought. Harry just went on, apparently it was easy to talk when Draco wasn't interfering,

"And while we're apart, we could both think about stuff. You could deal with the things that are bothering you, and I could try to find out how I feel about all this, and think about how you and I could be together so it would work."

Draco knew this feeling. This was the same feeling he'd felt that night when he'd done bad things to Harry Potter in the Gryffindor's bedroom.

The feeling of shock, the numbness that came from the shock, and the knowledge that something terrible had just happened. This time he knew how it would go; he'd feel the shock for a moment, and then the knowledge of what had happened would hit him so hard, he didn't know how he'd be able to deal with it this time.

So he stayed quiet and completely still, he tried to remember to breathe but he knew he was close to the moment of a panic. He couldn't say anything, he was so afraid what Potter would say next, he could only wait for his ultimate doom. Potter would crush him with his words, so he waited for that to happen.

Suddenly Potter grabbed his hand, and he was so startled because he'd been in some very deep inside his mind, that he twitched.

"Draco," Potter said with a very soft voice but Draco couldn't look at him, he tried to stay as still as he could, thinking if he might become invisible if he concentrated on the thought enough.  
This was too much, he wouldn't be able to live without Potter, not for a second.

"Draco, look at me," Potter said but Draco couldn't. He couldn't move, he was way too afraid what was coming next. Potter's fingers on his palm felt like they were burning his skin, but then it stopped as Potter pulled his arm so hard he went with the movement, and ended up in Potter's embrace.

He felt like he was choking, he couldn't breathe and couldn't move either, he was way too scared of the moment when the shock would go away. He'd probably die. Potter started talking again and Draco squeezed his eyes shut against Potter's shoulder, trying to be ready for some ultimate gunfire of painful words.

"I know you don't want to keep a break but I think it's the best solution. And it doesn't mean I'm breaking up with you or anything. It's just a break. And then we can talk and see how things are, and if we've found any solution on how to make things work."

Draco took a deep breath, it hurt, he knew Potter was lying and had to say,

"There is no break. It is a break-up."

Potter's fingers had been running on Draco's back but they stopped, "What do you mean?"

Potter smelled too good, too familiar on his nose, "I've never heard of a break that resulted in anything else but a break-up. So if you're breaking up with me, then say so. Don't try to make me feel better by talking some bullshit about some break."

Potter pulled away suddenly and Draco automatically looked him in the eyes, Potter looked a little irritated,

"And don't you talk to me like that, Draco Malfoy. I already said I'm not breaking up with you, I want to have a break. Why can't you believe anything I say? That's exactly what I mean; you're too sensitive, and you don't respect anything I say – "

Anger flared suddenly inside Draco, "I just said I've never heard of a break that didn't result in ending the relationship! So if you want to leave me then do it! I know you've been wanting to do that! I know you thought this was all a mistake right from the start!"

Potter frowned and stood up from the bed, and he was shouting too,  
"This is exactly what I mean! You don't believe anything I say, you keep getting these ideas about things without listening to what I say! I haven't said I thought this was a mistake, or have you heard me say that?"

The door of the room opened and Zabini came in but Draco didn't even really notice, he was too busy shouting and getting up from the bed too to take steps closer to Potter,

"No! But I can see what you're thinking! I know you've been thinking about it! I can see it! Why can't you just talk with me about things then, if there are issues then fine, let's talk about them!"

Potter shook his head violently, "No! I need to think about stuff alone! I don't want to see you until I've had the time and space to think about things on my own. And like I told you, in the meanwhile I want you to think about your own issues."

Draco glared in rage, "What issues? My only issue is that you don't want to be with me!"

Potter pointed a finger at Draco, "I just told you what issues! You need to figure out why you can't believe anything I tell you, and why you're overreacting to things all the time! Also you've been clingy and so jealous of me I don't think anyone's ever been like that towards me before. You need to find out who you are and what you want, and you need to learn to calm down. As you can see it's impossible to even have a discussion with you without it ending up in this, I hate this, I hate arguing with you like this!"

Potter's hand was shaking, and Draco knew the boy was extremely angry. Draco was confused about the things Harry said, he didn't quite understand everything,

"What do you want me to be like then, huh? How can you be that surprised we're ending up in fights? Can't you remember what we've been like, always – "

"Exactly! That's exactly what I'm talking about, Malfoy! We're in a relationship now and it's time to act like it, and not like when we hated each other!"

Draco didn't know what to say, Potter's expression was so tense he could easily imagine the whole room to suddenly burst into fire. He didn't want Potter to leave.

If Potter left now, then he'd surely decide he never wanted to see Draco again. Draco didn't want things to end like this, so he took the remaining steps to reach Harry and grabbed his arm but Potter said,

"No! Don't touch me, let me go. I want to be alone. I'll talk with you when we've had enough time apart."

Harry tried to pull his arm free but Draco held it even tighter,  
"No, Harry! Please don't do this. Let's talk. I'll talk with you, I don't want it to end like this –"

"Let go off me! I said let go!"

Suddenly there was someone else grabbing Draco's arms and Draco looked at Blaise and shouted,  
"Get the hell off me! Don't interfere; this is none of your business, Zabini!"

Blaise did something unbelievable, he wrapped his both arms around Draco so that his arms were left underneath Blaise's, and Blaise was so strong it was very difficult to keep a firm hold of Potter's arm, Draco began to struggle and growled in anger.

Blaise said, "Draco, he's right, you need to let him go now."

"What? No! Let me go, you fucking idiot!" He shouted in anger but Blaise was now trying to pull him completely away from Potter.

Potter looked at Blaise and said, "Thanks." Then he looked Draco in the eyes and said,

"That's what I'm talking about, Draco, you need to calm down. You need to learn to control yourself around me. If you keep acting like this I'm not sure I want to carry on with our relationship so… use your time wisely when I'm not around. Talk with someone. Sort your things out."

There was no sign of any shock left, the feelings were rolling over him like furious thunder clouds, the feelings were too big to handle, he was so close to start crying he could barely hold it back, he whined,

"Potter, please don't. I need you, don't you get that? I need to talk with you!"

Potter shook his head, "No, Draco, you need to be alone and sort things out. Let's give it a week or two and then we'll see what the situation is."

Potter pulled his arm out of Draco's grip but Draco couldn't do anything to stop him because Blaise was all muscle, and was holding Draco way too strongly to even struggle.

Potter was about to go and muttered to Blaise, "I think you could have a talk with him. And Draco…"

He shifted his eyes in Draco's, "Take care of yourself."

Draco didn't say anything; he couldn't believe things were going like this. This was a nightmare.

Potter left quickly after that and as soon as the door was shut Draco started struggling, trying to get away from the strong Slytherin,  
"You fucking asshole, you son of bitch, how dare you – "

He started crying so heavily he couldn't even get the words out properly but Blaise turned him around and held him way too strongly so Draco still couldn't get away from him although he tried to push him,

"You – how dare you, I hate you, you- "

"Shh, it's okay. Calm down, everything will work out." Blaise said but Draco barely heard him over his own sobs and he was so, so sad, helpless and lonely he couldn't take it, his knees gave up under the heavy emotions but Blaise held him still. Why did everyone leave him? No-one loved him.

"Shh," Blaise said, and Draco just kept crying, until it turned to angry shouting and struggling, which soon turned into helpless crying again.

He didn't know how long he'd been crying there, he was exhausted and he was losing his voice, "I'm dying."

Blaise loosened his hold just a little and Draco had to stand on his own feet, and not just let Blaise support his weight.  
Blaise said, "You're not dying, silly."

Draco was too exhausted to feel embarrassed about his behaviour, "What's wrong with me then?"

Blaise took a step back to look Draco in the eyes, "That's pretty obvious, I think."

Draco lifted his eyebrows a little, Blaise said, "You're in love and you don't know how to handle it."

Draco let his gaze drop, "Have you seen anyone act like this when they're in love?"

"No but… I think that maybe you're a sensitive person underneath that tough surface of yours. Maybe you appear so tough just to hide it, or maybe you haven't even realised you might be that sensitive if you haven't felt so strongly about someone before. Also I assume that you're panicking Potter might leave you because you've lost your parents and most of your friends are gone too, so… I think you're afraid that you'll be all on your own. Am I correct?"

Draco looked up and Blaise was looking at him questioningly, Draco swallowed before muttering,

"I think you might be right." He thought Blaise had just tracked down Draco's problem so well that Draco couldn't have said it better.

In fact he thought this was all true but he had kept the truth under such barriers he couldn't even see the truth himself.  
The truth was too horrifying. He didn't want to be a pathetic person with a lot of emotions showing through when he had tried to be someone, who could hide things from others.

Maybe his feelings for Potter were affected by the fact his parents were gone. Maybe he'd been traumatized by his parents' deaths and that was why he panicked so badly constantly…

It was obvious.

"Let's have a talk then. A serious talk. That's what Potter said he wants you to do, so if you want him to be with you, then you should do what he asked you to do. Right?" Blaise said.

Draco shrugged but after a moment of serious thinking he muttered, "Fine. Let's talk then."

He would do anything to keep Potter. Anything.


	16. Silverdust gets lucky

**Zinnia says**: Finally the last, quite a long chapter. Christmas is here, so **merry Christmas to everyone** and **thanks for all the reviews and pm's**.

Chapter 16 _**Silverdust gets Lucky**_

Draco was lying on Blaise's bed and the other Slytherin was sitting against the wall, his legs stretched out over Draco's.

Draco sighed, "I haven't really thought about it. I just thought I'm in love with him, and I am, but I didn't realise part of the obsession might come from the fact that… I don't have my family."

Draco swallowed. Talking and opening up really wasn't his strongest talent or desire.

Blaise muttered, "Tell me about your parents."

Draco shrugged but even though he wanted to say he didn't want to talk about it, the uninvited memories from his childhood began molesting him. The strongest of them was that one day, that day when he'd sat on his father's lap the last time. He tried to push the image away,

"I miss them. I try not to but I do. It was only a while ago when… when I thought about my father and… you know, I was so pissed off at him when he died. I was so angry. He led my whole life into the wrong direction and I was too young to see it for myself, and then he goes and dies, and leaves me in the middle of all the mess, like…"

He swallowed again, it was really difficult to talk about his father.

He said, "I was so angry that he left me. He left me with nothing. Like my whole life before that hadn't even existed. It's all gone, everything's gone. I have no idea who I am anymore. I know I haven't been like this before, I've changed and I don't even know when it's happened and who I am now. With Potter it's…"

Blaise interrupted him, "Let's talk about your parents first, and then we'll talk about Potter. How about your mother? How do you feel about that?"

Draco sighed, he still hadn't really thought about his mother, "Well I… I've been avoiding thinking about her. It's… don't force me talk about it."

Blaise looked at him while Draco took a deep breath, he really didn't want to start crying all over again, he was so pathetic he hated himself.

"I think it would be best for your mental health if you just let it all out, so tell me. I know it's awful but you'll feel better afterwards."

Draco took a glance at Blaise but then started talking, staring at the canopy above,  
"I haven't really dealt with the fact that she's gone. I sort of… I don't think about it and while I'm here, in Hogwarts I mean, it's easy to forget that she's not there, she's not home and … "

Draco kept a pause to breathe, and to force the feelings of sadness away so he could talk calmly,

"It's… it's the fact that I still don't know if she was murdered or not. I want to believe she was, because if it's true that she… if she…"

He clenched his jaw and shut his mouth, he would start crying if he didn't stop this now, he wanted to push the thoughts away and concentrate on something else.  
He crossed his arms over his eyes just I case the tears would come without his will, and took another deep breath.

"I know what you're going to say, but I want to hear it from you, so say it." Blaise said.

Draco muttered, "If she killed herself then… even she didn't love me enough to stay alive for me."

Yes, the tears were running now but it was okay because Blaise wouldn't see it.

Blaise made a thinking sound and muttered, "I didn't know your mother that well but I do know that you were the apple of her eye, so I really don't think she did it. I've always thought that she was killed, most likely by the same people that killed you father. "

Draco didn't say anything; he wanted to believe Blaise was right.

"Can we talk about Potter now?" Draco asked, trying to force the tears away.

"Yeah, sure. Tell me." Blaise said.

This was hardly an easier topic because right now Draco still couldn't believe Potter wouldn't leave him.

"I need him. It's as simple as that. I love him, and he doesn't love me." Draco said.

Blaise almost talked over Draco's last word, "What makes you think he doesn't love you back?"

Draco wanted to shrug but couldn't while his arms were over his eyes,  
"I don't know. It's just that I've been feeling like there's something wrong. Like I knew he'd leave me and - "

"He didn't leave you." Blaise said but Draco went on like he hadn't heard him,

"He's been saying things like he thought everything's happened too fast, and he doesn't know if we can make it work so… it's obvious, he doesn't love me."

"Now you're not making any sense, Draco. That's just stupid! People who love each other often have difficulties and problems and hey, have you forgotten who you two are… I hardly think there's anything wrong if he wonders whether you two can make it work. Everyone thinks about stuff like that all the time, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you."

Draco sighed, Blaise didn't get it at all. Potter didn't love him; he knew that much with certainty.

"Look, whatever. The point is that when he comes to me and tells me he's thought about things and he thinks we can't make it work… then where does that leave me? He's my everything. I think about him 24/7, honestly, I hardly think about anything else – "

"Oh really?" Blaise muttered but Draco didn't pay any attention,

"And I need him, there's no way I can even picture my life without him now. I want to be with him. I want him to be mine, all mine."

Blaise was quiet and Draco let his arms drop off from his face and looked at Blaise, who was frowning,

"Hmm… you're a bit possessive, aren't you?" Blaise asked.

"Yes, I know. So?" Draco asked.

"You can't own another human being. You do realise that, don't you?" Blaise made a disapproving face.

"Of course I know that!" Draco snapped. But he wanted Potter to be his, his only, and no one else's, ever.

"But the way you said that, it sounds like it's not enough for you that he's your boyfriend." Blaise said.

"Well it's not enough. I want him to love me." Draco muttered.

"What if that's not enough either?" Blaise asked, eyebrows raised.

"I don't know. I know I want him, and that's pretty much all I know." Draco replied and crossed his arms behind his head.

Blaise sighed but then started talking with a determined voice,

"Right. Well I think you should try to think about stuff, and learn to cope with the fact that even if you guys stayed together forever and eternity, then you have to make the decision about what's enough and keep that decision, and stop asking for more. I don't think Potter is the sort of person you can try to chain and keep in your leash. Some people are like that but not Potter. I don't even know him well but I know that much. I don't think he'd appreciate it if you were highly possessive, and I'm pretty much certain that's exactly what you're like when you're with him. You're too obsessed. You need to see that there are other people too, and not just Potter."

"But he's the only person who makes me feel good, and like life's… tolerable." Draco insisted.

"Yes, I know. But now that you have time to think about things, you should really try to find a way to calm down a bit."

"What if he leaves me? I can't be alone." Draco said and looked at Blaise.

"I don't think he will. If he did though, then you'd find a way to survive, and I'd be there for you, and one day you'd fall in love with someone else and maybe the next person would be the right person for you, if Potter isn't that." Blaise said and shrugged.

"But he is. He is the one." Draco said but realised he felt a little better right now. He felt lighter.

Potter hadn't left him, and he would do exactly Potter wanted; leave him alone, and concentrate on solving his own thoughts, maybe it was also time to think about some other things besides Potter.

Potter would probably like him more if he had some life of his own, and not everything revolved around Potter.

Draco yawned, it wasn't even dinner time yet but he was so exhausted, and knew it was the riot of emotions that was wearing him down. All the shouting and crying, desperation and panic, and right now all he felt was acceptance at the knowledge that he must wait, and do things of his own until Potter had decided what was best for them.

"Can I sleep here?" He asked.

Blaise's mouth dropped open, "In here?"

"Yeah. I don't want to… my bed smells like him." Draco said but actually it was the fear of loneliness he was trying to escape.  
He was fairly certain the fear of Potter leaving him would come back, if he had to sleep alone in his bed. He knew he wouldn't do cleaning spells on his sheets or anything, because he would want Potter's smell to linger there forever, but right now he couldn't face it.

"Oh, well, alright. Aren't you coming to dinner then?" Blaise asked and climbed over Draco's feet to get out of the bed.

"No, I can't eat. Besides I can't see him… I need some time alone too, before I can see him the next time."

He couldn't even imagine how panicked he would feel, if he had to go somewhere where Potter was right now. He knew he'd walk over to him, fall on his knees in front of him and beg, and cry, for Potter to take him back (no matter they hadn't even broken up) and Draco would cry endlessly unless Potter hugged him and told him that everything was fine, and they'd be together forever.

So he couldn't go to dinner.

"Alright. Want me to bring you something?" Blaise asked.

Draco thought about it, and sighed, "I don't know. Maybe something sweet to get a sugar rush, I don't think I can get drunk in the middle of the week although Firewhiskey would be what I'd really like right now."

"Alright. I'll grab you something. Actually I already know what I'll bring you, and I'll take you out on Friday. We'll go to Hogsmeade, to the Three Broomsticks and I'll pour a whole bottle of Firewhiskey down your throat and you'll forget all about relationships for one night. How does that sound?"

Draco smirked and rolled his eyes, "Doesn't sound too bad."

Blaise smiled and left the room. Draco shook his head a little, but felt an extreme gratitude for Blaise right now. He'd never had a friend like that.  
It felt strange but it also felt very good. It almost felt like someone cared for him, and that felt good.

*****  
The next Sunday had arrived; Harry sat in the Great Hall during breakfast. Harry was relieved to see Draco was still alive at least, but it was pretty much all he was happy about.

He missed him a lot. A lot more than he thought he would, although he had prepared himself for the feeling.

Ron said next to him, "I bet you get the almond, Harry."

"No, I won't." Harry muttered and for a moment hoped he would get the almond in his mouth and win the annual Lucky Porridge competition.

It wasn't really a competition, it was more like a common breakfast porridge but it had a sweet coconut milk flavour, and on someone's plate of porridge there would be a white almond hidden, and whoever found the almond, won themselves a small vial of _felix felicis_.

_I could use some felix felicis right now_, he thought and kept munching the porridge, trying not to take glimpses at his boyfriend. The word still tasted so weird in his mouth, like he still didn't really know what Malfoy was to him.

He bit something hard. _Oh shit, it can't be…_

He pulled the almond out of his mouth and raised his arm in the air. He swallowed the porridge hastily and said aloud, "I got it."

*****  
At lunch Draco forced himself to eat something, when McGonagall started tapping a glass with her spoon.

"Good afternoon everyone. It is time to announce the theme of this year's Christmas play and this year we'll be doing a play by Victor…"

Draco stopped listening at this point and let his gaze shift to Potter's face. The Gryffindor was listening to McGonagall. It was unbelievable Harry had found the almond and gotten the felix felicis. It was so unbelievable because Harry was the last person on the planet who needed luck; his life was perfect already, Draco thought.

He was the one who should've gotten it, he could've used it right now.  
It wouldn't bring his old life back, and it possibly wouldn't give him Potter but maybe he could even get one kiss from the Gryffindor.

"Raise your hand, Draco," Blaise said and grabbed Draco's elbow, trying to make him raise his hand.

"What?" Draco said and tried to pull his arm free but McGonagall had already spotted him.

"Ah, I had assumed you would like the role, Mr. Malfoy and I'm very pleased to have you on stage."

The whole hall sniggered, whistled, laughed, and applauded and Draco was so confused he simply stared at McGonagall and gulped.

Right after that McGonagall started talking about another role, and asked who would like to take that one, the role of one of the main characters called Leo Goldigger.

To Draco's surprised a certain Gryffindor raised his hand, and once again the whole hall was suddenly full of enthusiastic noise.

Draco stared at Potter and couldn't even breathe. He was so confused right now. What the hell was going on around here?

"I think you should go to her." Blaise said to Draco, and he realised Potter was already heading towards the teacher's table, and McGonagall, so he got up and walked.  
He was so confused he was afraid he might trip on something, his own feet maybe, or he might simply faint.

When he got to McGonagall, she smiled like a morning sun, and handed him a stack of papers. Draco took it, said automatically "Thank you" like he was in a graduation party, and receiving his diploma, and still as confused as ever he stayed there, next to fucking Harry Potter, who smiled like never before.

_Aha, I get it! He's taken some felix felicis, and it's his lucky day today_, Draco thought.  
_Great, Potter's the puppet master and I'm the puppet, once again, this is so unbelievable. The whole world acts just like the way he wants it to. So unfair…_

Draco barely noticed all the other students who had volunteered for some roles, and came to stand in the same line before finally they got to go back to their original seats. Potter didn't say anything to Draco, so he didn't say anything either.

When he came next to Blaise, he said, "Are you mad, Zabini? Let's go, now!"

Once they got to their room, Draco shouted, "You idiot! I don't want to be in some school play! I don't even like those plays at all! I've never acted anywhere!"

Blaise smiled, "You were made for the role, Draco, and you only have like a couple of lines, it's easy! Besides you act everyday all the time when you're around people, so it's hardly anything new for you. And guess what, I've seen the play once and I happen to know you're going to love it! Read the manuscript and once you're done, come back to me and tell me that's not exactly what you want to be practising until Christmas Eve."

Draco narrowed his eyes, "But school plays are so tacky! They're always so cheesy; I can't be involved in something like that!"

Blaise rolled his eyes, "Look, I think McGonagall might've chosen the play while thinking about you and Potter because this is probably the first time ever, when there's gay characters in the school play. It's based on a true story. Besides Potter is bound to notice how much he misses you, when you get to spend some time with him, so ignore the cheesiness and concentrate on being with Potter instead."

Having said that Blaise simply smiled, and left the room, leaving Draco glare after him.

When he had nothing better to do and knowing he'd do the role anyway because he would not have Potter laughing when he backed off, he threw himself on Blaise's bed and started reading the lines.

Leo Goldigger (Potter) was the main character and apparently he was gay, and had a boyfriend (Draco had no idea who'd taken that role but he was jealous, although luckily the characters didn't kiss or anything other disgusting, their relationship was only hinted so that the audience knew Leo's secret).

Draco's character (Silverdust) was mentioned all the time but the only time he got to be seen by the audience was in the ending scene.

It sounded quite beautiful, Draco thought, because it was Christmas evening in the play, and his character got hit by a spell and was dying.

Poor Silverdust (who was a double agent and whose real name no-one knew) died in the arms of no other than Leo Goldigger himself. Cold shivers ran down Draco's back at the thought.

That was his only plan for the future; on Christmas Eve evening he'd die in Potter's arms on stage while it was snowing.

Quite beautiful, extremely corny and tacky, but quite beautiful nevertheless, he decided and closed his eyes.  
He remembered his lines easily.

*****  
"No, I don't think we need to practise that, so we'll just do that when the time comes." Potter said to Slughorn and Draco opened his eyes, disappointed.

He was lying on the stage and he was getting cold because they'd created the snow there too for the scene.

He looked at Potter, who was sitting next to him, but whose eyes were directed at the Professor, who had insisted on directing the play because it was one of his favourites.

By now it was clear to Draco which student played which part and he wasn't too happy that Seamus Finnigan was playing Potter's boyfriend's role, even if it was just mentioned.  
It was disgusting, but it could've been worse, it could've been Neville Longbottom!

This was the first time they had rehearsal, but because Draco's role was so minor, and because he was told he was a natural and knew all his lines perfectly, they simply told him he only needed to come to the last rehearsal before the actual play took place.

So he got up, sighed and left. Potter hadn't talked about anything with him. They'd only recited their lines, and Draco had had to fight back from rolling his eyes at the cheesy lines.  
This wasn't working as well as he had hoped for.

*****  
A couple of days later he found out they'd gotten the grade for divination, so Potter had done the whole work without Draco. It was okay, since all the other grades (except Potions) Draco had gotten this term were so low he didn't know how he would ever get his NEWTs.

Potter had done a good job, he should thank him. He still didn't know what he would get Potter for Christmas.  
He sighed, and glanced at Blaise who was lying next to him.

"You bored?" Blaise asked.

"A bit, I guess." Draco shrugged.

"Do you want your gift in advance?" Blaise whispered and lifted his eyebrows. It was the 23rd of December but…

"Yes, why not," Draco muttered. He still hadn't gotten anything for Blaise either, but he simply didn't know what to get, and because the budget was now limited, he felt like he didn't even want to think about it.  
He only knew he would get something very good for Blaise, if not for Christmas, then some other time, later.

"Close your eyes and open your mouth." Blaise said, and Draco's eyebrows shot up, "What?"

Blaise grinned, "Don't you trust me? You'll love it. Come on, close your eyes."

Friendships were weird; Draco thought and took a deep breath before deciding he would have to trust Blaise since they were real friends now. He closed his eyes and opened his mouth, just a little.

He didn't know what he was expecting; he thought he wasn't expecting anything specific, but he was surprised when he got something hard and cold on his tongue.  
He opened his eyes and closed his mouth around the object that began to melt immediately.

Draco's eyes began to glimmer and he muttered mouth full, "White chocolate."

"I've seen you eat them every year around Christmas." Blaise grinned.

Draco frowned a little, no wonder Blaise was so talented at reading Draco's thoughts occasionally if he'd kept that close eye on Draco.

He muttered, "Really? My mother bought me these when I was little. Although these taste a bit different…"

"Yeah, I drugged them." Blaise said and his grin got bigger when Draco spat the remains of the chocolate on the floor.

Blaise laughed hard and said, "Sorry. I had to see how you'd react. I'm sorry. Take another one…"

He gave Draco the whole box of chocolate and Draco glared him, "Were you joking?"

Blaise simply smiled so Draco made an angry face, grabbed another chocolate and munched it angrily.

Blaise said, "No, I wasn't joking. It's spiced with a potion that will give you an ethereal, happy feeling for an hour, and you can't get addicted to it so it's harmless."

Draco frowned angrily and stopped munching. Then he muttered with an angry voice, "You're an asshole, you know that?"

He swallowed the chocolate and picked up another one. Blaise took one too and they ended up eating all of them, and then laughed a long time feeling high. Draco realised he hadn't heard himself laughing in such a long time, his laughter sounded strange.

*****  
It was Christmas Eve and Draco was nervous. He knew his lines; it wasn't that he was worried about. He was worried about how things would go with Potter on stage.

He went for a short walk outside, it was snowing and it did look like Christmas.  
It was quite beautiful if you looked at the view through a window, but it was a little too cold when you were outside.  
He tried not to think about his parents, although it was impossible, and he made himself a promise he'd go to their grave tomorrow.  
Maybe he could ask Potter if he could come with him, maybe they could go to Potter's parents' graves too.

He would have to go, with or without Potter, and it would be part of the whole "getting my own shit solved" thing. He had realised he did have more issues than he knew about, Blaise had kept expertly digging them up all through last week, and talking about them did make him feel lighter afterwards.

It was too cold for him so he went back in and went to see if Blaise was still in their room. Yes, he was.

"Check your bed." Blaise muttered, and Draco frowned but after a moment's hesitation went to his bed and pulled the curtain open.

There was a note on his bed and when he picked it up; he found a small glass vial underneath it.  
He gasped as he knew what it was even before he looked at the golden text on the side. Felix felicis.

_Merry Christmas, Draco. I hope Silverdust feels lucky tonight.  
-Harry_

He remembered he should breathe, and he did, but it was difficult, his heart was suddenly beating madly. He felt nervous but he couldn't tell if it felt good or bad.

"Are you fainting?" Blaise asked.

That woke Draco up from his thoughts so strongly he jumped, "No. No, I'm… Did you see him?"

Blaise nodded and smiled.

"Did he say anything?" Draco asked, his heartbeats were drumming in his ears.

"Just that he's looking forward to the play." Blaise said.

Draco sat on his bed, he felt stupefied. He held the glass vial in his hand but his eyes were fixed on the note.

Did Potter mean Draco should drink some before the play? It seemed that way, yes.

Maybe he could do that, but he didn't want to drink it all – he would definitely need to be lucky some other time too since his life was a bit too horrible most of the time.

*****  
When the evening finally came he was nervous when he walked to the backstage, and Luna Lovegood, who was an assistant, gave Draco his costume and started doing his hair.

"You are not putting silver glitter on my hair, Lovegood!" Draco said, trying not to snap but it didn't come out as politely as he wished.

"Oh but it's the most important thing in your character's appearance, Draco. Everyone will know who you are as soon as you step in view." Luna was smiling and started doing the spells on Draco's hair anyway.

"Fine." Draco muttered and stared at himself in a mirror. He looked weird as his hair started getting a bit more grey shade, it still looked white nevertheless, and luckily the glitter only went on the top.  
It didn't look half as bad as he had feared it would.

He dressed up in the black overall, pulled the silvery boots all the way up to his knee, and in the end he pulled the silvery gloves all the way up this elbow, and stared at himself in the mirror.

"You look nice." Luna said and smiled in the reflection.

Draco turned around and looked at his back in the reflection, then turned around again. The overall was done from straps of fabric, some of them were black leather and the others felt like very hard silk underneath his fingers as he traced some of the straps in his chest.

It was tight but it did look very good. He turned around once again, just to check his arse once more. Yes, he started to feel like a very gay, good looking double agent. Too bad all his lines were corny and tacky.

Except one, the last line was good.

He was relieved his costume was something that was alright, when the colours were concerned since he'd seen some other costumes earlier, and they looked horrible, all the ugly Christmas colours he hated seeing in clothing.  
He wondered, and hoped that Potter's (Leo Goldigger's) outfit was something nice, and not something…red or gold.  
He scrunched his nose at the mere thought.

Then he waited, and waited some more until finally it was time for the last act. Just before his scene took place, he went to his pile of clothes and pulled the small glass vial out. This was it.

From this moment on there was no way this evening would get ruined. He pulled the small cork off and placed the vial on his lips, took a deep breath and poured about half of the liquid in the back of his throat.

He swallowed and placed the vial back in the pocket of his robes on the floor.

It felt weird to not have his wand but to get a fake wand from Luna.

_**Act 6.**_

Silverdust suddenly appeared on the stage behind a tree.

He swiftly moved behind the red haired bad guy, who went by the name Red Herring, and who was holding Leo Goldigger in a tight grip ("Tell me you're last words, Leo, for your time has come and -).

"Not so fast, Red Herring!" Silverdust growled, pointing his wand at the red haired baddie, who now turned around and forgot to hold Leo Golddigger, who was quick enough to react, and jump free.

Red Herring glared at Silverdust, who glared back and they started walking in circles, pointing each other with their wands.

"This was all a set-up, Silverdust! I knew you wouldn't be able to stay away if I kidnapped Leo Goldigger! I am the only one who knows your dirty little secret!" Red Herring shouted.

"What's my secret then, you foul deceiver of the Light Side?" Silverdust asked threateningly.

"You are not on the Light Side, Silverdust! You belong to the Dark!" Red Herring barked.

Leo Goldigger's voice stopped Silverdust from answering by shouting, "That is not true, Red Herring. Silverdust has always been a double agent for the Light Side."

Silverdust still glared at Red Herring with sharp eyes.

"Is that true?" Red Herring asked but his voice sounded taunting.

"Yes." Silverdust answered truthfully.

"No-one will ever believe that. Go back to your darkness, Silverdust! _Avada Kedavra!_"

The green light blinded Draco momentarily and he fell on his knees, then down on his back, he accidentally bit his tongue when his head thudded against the floor, his saliva tasted like blood when he swallowed it.

It started snowing, and Leo Goldigger was now shouting, "How dare you, Red Herring. He has always belonged to Light! _Avada Kedavra!_"

The green light appeared again and Draco wondered whether he could close his eyes for a moment as the snowflakes were irritatingly descending and melting on his eyelashes. He also really felt like rolling his eyes at the cheesy lines but he was supposed to be dying, so it wasn't suitable for Silverdust to do so.

He didn't have time to close his eyes from the snowflakes, because Leo Goldigger was suddenly leaning over him, kneeling by his side and saying,  
"Silverdust, you saved my life, and not for the first time."

Silverdust answered but it was so quiet he wondered whether the last row could hear that even with the _sonorus_on, "Leo –"

Leo interrupted him, "I wish I could've met you before, I've always known that… I love you."

Silverdust stared into the green eyes, but he knew he was dying, and it was too late to change anything.

Silverdust said, "You have to live for both of us now."

Leo sobbed aloud, Merlin that sounded familiar. Leo said, "No. Silverdust, please, don't go."

Silverdust articulated very well, being a dying man and all, "Leo, I love you, and I always have."

The green eyes staring at him were filled with tears, and Silverdust blinked but then closed his eyes.

Suddenly there was a pair of familiar Gryffindor lips on Draco's mouth, and he kissed back.  
He had missed this every second ever since the last time, which felt like forever ago.

He could barely hear the overly excited, wild audience who finally got to see what had been kept mostly behind closed doors even though every single student knew about them.

Leo Goldigger pulled back a little and Draco felt like he really should say this now, so he whispered against the lips,  
"Harry, take me back."

Harry kissed him again, and Draco was so surprised he made a muffled sound, but knew the audience didn't hear that over all the whistling and shouting.

Harry's lips were gentle and soft, they were absolutely perfect, and Harry was perfect, and he needed him.  
If he and Harry would break up then this might be the last time they kissed, ever.  
So Draco didn't stop the kiss even though he knew his character was supposed to be dead by now.

He died on the inside as Leo Goldigger pulled away, cried aloud in grief before collapsing over Draco's chest.  
Leo Goldigger whined the ending lines but Draco wasn't listening anymore.  
He wondered if Harry had kissed him again just because of the extra luck he had with him tonight.

How far would the luck take him tonight? If he asked Harry to be with him, to sleep with him, would the felix felicis make Harry say yes?  
Would it be all the more awful to let Harry go after that, if he got one extra night because of the luck?

He didn't know what he was supposed to do. When the red curtains were closed and he opened his eyes, Harry was smiling at him, offering his hand so Draco could pull himself back on his feet, and he did, and he held Potter's hand, deciding not to let go now whatever happened.

Only now he got to take a proper look at Leo Goldigger's clothes, and boy did they look good!  
They were identical to Draco's but the gloves and boots were golden, _why am I not surprised…  
_  
As the curtain got up one more time so that all the actors could make their bows, Draco still held Harry's hand but Harry was holding his too, and that was clearly a good sign.

Harry let go soon after, and Draco left to go backstage because he felt like he should go there.  
The first thing he did was that he went in front of a mirror, and started doing cleaning spells on his hair to get the glitter and grey off.

Potter was suddenly there in the reflection although Draco hadn't heard him coming.

Draco's hand froze in the middle of a movement, and Potter said, "Hi."

Draco turned around and noticed only now that there was golden glitter in Potter's hair.  
"Hi," He said back.

Potter smiled a little and asked, "Are you feeling lucky tonight, Silverdust?"

Draco lifted his left eyebrow and took a step closer to Harry, "Well I might be, now that I have you here, Leo Goldigger."

Harry took a step closer too, "Did you come back from the dead just to finish off what we started?"

Draco smirked, and took a step closer, "Of course I did. Not even death can keep me away from you, you should know that.

Harry grinned, and took a step closer, "Oh yeah?"

Draco couldn't help but grin too as he took a step closer, "Yeah." He placed his hands on Potter's cheeks and kissed him, and Harry took the remaining two small steps to press up against Draco, and Potter's hands were everywhere, groping Draco's ass so hard he made a surprised moan, and pulled back,

"Harry, can we talk?"

"Yes, please do." Harry said and nodded enthusiastically.

Draco hadn't even taken the silvery gloves off but it didn't matter because he thought it was amusing that Potter was so identical in his outfit. He really felt like talking so he talked,

"Ever since we last talked, I've been spending a lot of time with Blaise and we've talked about things. There are still some things that I think I need time to… come to terms with but I think that I've done what you asked me to do. I know that you feel like our relationship started all of a sudden, and…"

Draco kept a pause but Harry was clearly waiting him to go on, Draco asked suddenly, "Where are your glasses?"

Harry smiled, "They fixed my sight for the play."

"Oh. Well… anyway -"

"Why?" Harry asked, still smiling.

Draco let his fingers run over Harry's ribs, he loved the overall; it felt so good he really didn't want Potter to take it off. Maybe he could steal the overalls for them and no-one would notice.

"I just wondered. You're eyes look so green." Draco muttered.

Harry smiled, "Don't tell me you want to get rid of my glasses."

Draco shook his head, "No, I definitely don't. They're part of you and I think that you're perfect, I wouldn't want to change a thing."

Harry stared at Draco and swallowed, then clenched his jaw and it worried Draco a bit so he asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

Harry shook his head, "No, no, it's nice to hear you think so but… I just feel a bit bad because I feel like I've treated you… coldly, and I complained about a lot of stuff without really thinking how much you've already been through."

"Oh." Draco said and wondered if this was what felix felicis did, Merlin, he needed to get more of that!

Harry said, "I wondered how brave you are. You came back to school even though your whole life turned upside down and you haven't even complained about it. You haven't complained although all the students look down upon you, and your old friends didn't have the guts to come, and you've been alone. And I know if I had a family and they were suddenly dead then… I could never be as strong and brave as you have been. I could never act normally even one day, and yet you've managed that somehow, you've been to classes and lived on even though you've lost it all."

Draco shook his head, "No, I haven't. You were right all along, and so was Blaise. I didn't want to face the fact that my mother and father are… gone but I've been trying to come to terms with it now. I feel like I should've maybe done that a long time ago but I haven't been able to. I've been telling myself everything will be okay as long as I don't think about it and it was a mistake. Some things have grown so huge I haven't been able to deal with them at all and – "

Harry interrupted him by grinning suddenly, and Draco frowned, asking, "What?"

"Nothing, go on." Harry said and tried to wipe the smile off his face. Draco did go on, because he felt like he really needed to say all this right now,

"Now that I know I need to face my own issues and deal with them, I think I'll be able to calm down and stop freaking out about everything all the time. I mean, I've been a total asshole to you, Potter, I know I have. I'll do my best to stop that. I'll do my best to do anything so that you'll… "

He swallowed, he really felt like saying it now. Potter looked serious but his voice was incredibly soft, "Say it, Draco."

He couldn't have stopped the words even if he tried, which he didn't, "So that you'll love me back because I love you, Potter, I love you."

Harry sighed, "I'm so relieved you feel that way because you know what? I love you too."

Draco blinked in confusion although Potter's fingers felt so good in the back of his neck right now.  
"You do?" He muttered.

Harry looked serious, "Yes, and I've felt that way for a while now but I knew things wouldn't work out the way they were going, so I thought if you really loved me, then we'd both feel like working for it, in order to change some things."

Draco frowned, "If I really loved you? Do you mean that – "

Harry cut him off, "When you fainted, Draco, you said you loved me."

Draco almost gasped, "I did?"

Harry nodded, "Yes. And I feel like a horrible person because I didn't bring it up, but I thought you might remember that. I also deliberately tried to stop you from speaking every time I thought you were going to say it because I felt like I wasn't ready for it. But I am now, and I'm sorry if I treated you coldly. I also had no idea you're such a sensitive boy underneath that tough skin of yours, but now I know, and I like that quality about you a lot."

Draco could pick up the small guilty feeling in Potter's eyes, "So you stopped me deliberately… that's… I don't know what to say to that. Are you sure you're ready to hear it now?"

Harry nodded but the small worry in Harry's eyes made Draco ask, "Is something wrong?"

Harry shook his head and muttered, "No, but… do you still want to be my boyfriend after all that?"

Draco nodded. Not being able to put his thoughts into words, he leaned in and kissed Potter roughly, drowning him in it, and letting the wet, soft, perfect lips wash away all the fear and longing he'd felt.

He really felt like telling the whole world he loved Harry Potter, who was perfect for him, so perfect.

Harry bit his lower lip, and pulled away enough to say, "I really missed this."  
Draco simply kissed him again, not wanting to talk for a long time; they'd done all the talking they needed to do for about the next… hmm… months, maybe.

He didn't know why, but he really felt like they should go outside, so he pulled back a little and muttered into Potter's swollen lips,

"Let's go out."

"Alright." Harry muttered, wearing the hazy, lusty look in his eyes. Draco had never been the type who held anyone's hand but now he really felt like doing so, so he held Potter's golden gloved hand in his silvery one, and together they left.

It was so beautiful outside, like in a dream! Although the sun had been setting already, it had left a silvery glow on the sky and the stars were twinkling brightly on their perfect canvas.

Potter gasped by the sight while Draco smiled contentedly, and began dragging Potter further and further away from the castle.  
Underneath a tree there was a huge pile of snow where the tree had shaken it off of its shoulders and gently Draco pushed Potter until he gave in, and fell on his back on the soft snow.

Harry was smiling and Draco climbed on top, kissed him roughly and muttered, "Oh I wish I could take you right here."

Harry laughed and kissed him, pulling him deeper and deeper in it, wrapping all of his limbs around him so Draco couldn't escape even if he ever thought about it, which he never would.

The overalls were perfect; he didn't feel cold at all! Draco kissed Potter's cold neck and Potter hissed in pleasure and muttered, "Bite me."  
Draco began to sink his teeth deeper and deeper but suddenly a voice stopped him, then there were several voices shouting.

_"Stupefy!"_

"Expelliarmus!"

"Petrificus totalus!"

_"Stupefy!"_

Draco looked up and he saw something extremely strange. Quite nearby there was pile of dark cloaked figures, and then he noticed the brightly coloured figures who were running in their direction.  
Blaise, Granger and Weasley.

Draco and Harry both simply stared in confusion, not being able to really understand the situation.

Slowly Draco realised the dark cloaked figures weren't teachers but in fact former Death Eaters and the students had apparently just prevented an attack.

"What the hell is going on?" Potter muttered and Draco glanced at him, the Gryffindor was wearing the cutest expression ever; dark hair all dishevelled like he'd been shagging and it was covered in snow, eyes still misty with the lusty emotions, and cheeks a bit red from the cold. So cute.

"They clearly tried to attack you guys." Weasley said, he was panting in exhaustion.

"Draco, I think they're the ones who might've killed your parents." Blaise said and Draco slowly got up from Potter and offered his hand to pull the Gryffindor back on his feet.

"Harry, are you okay?" Granger asked with a worried voice.

"I'm fine," Harry muttered and glanced at Draco, they were both still a bit confused.

Suddenly there was yet another voice in the air and all of them turned to look in the direction, _"Incarcerous!"  
_  
It was McGonagall who was tying the former Death Eaters in a nice package. She was breathless when she reached them,

"Oh I'm so glad we've finally caught them. The Aurors are already on their way. Mr. Malfoy, I believe these are the persons behind the attack on you, and possibly behind your parents' deaths as well. I hope we can find the evidence to put them behind bars and if all of you are willing to testify, I'm sure they'll get a sentence for tonight's attack as well."

All the students nodded, and the head mistress began levitating the tightly wrapped pile towards the castle, most likely to put them somewhere safe until the Aurors would arrive.

"Well… that was… unexpected." Potter muttered. They all looked at each other for a moment before they started laughing.

Blaise took some snow on his palm and began squeezing it into a ball, which he then threw at Draco.

"Hey!" Draco burst out but wasn't really angry at all.

Fifteen minutes later there was a constant noise of laughing and shouting as the two Slytherins and three Gryffindors were having the longest snowball fight of their lives, Slyhterin versus Gryffindor match would last until one team would surrender.

*****  
Draco lifted his left eyebrow at the expectant looking Gryffindor, and muttered the spell which tied Potter's hands tightly on the posters.  
The green eyes were glimmering with excitement, "What are you going to do to me?"

Draco planted soft kisses and licks on Potter's inner thighs, then lifted his head and opened his hand, on his palm he had the small glass vial,

"I'm going to make you feel like the luckiest guy on planet for one night."

Potter smiled and muttered, "Put that thing away, I don't need it. I already feel like the luckiest guy ever, and you should save that until the trial day so we'll get them where they belong."

Draco raised his eyebrows a little but placed the vial on the bedside table before pulling the curtain back shut with force, he drawled, "Now, Potter, I'll give you what you deserve…"

Harry bit his lower lip, trying not to smile as Draco began kissing his inner thighs all over again. Draco's hands were torturing Potter mercilessly because they were gentle, then rough, then gentle again, everywhere else except on Potter's cock.  
He licked and kissed a trail up to Potter's neck, where his teeth sank in, making Harry moan and arch against Draco.

Draco laughed at the impatient Gryffindor and grabbed his dark hair, gently but firmly, so he could keep the boy's head in place, and got to watch Potter's turned on expression before he kissed him, roughly, and Potter kept making pleasure filled noises in the back of his throat.

Draco sucked his tongue gently before he really needed to start touching Potter everywhere because he missed Harry's skin an awful lot, so he pulled away from the kiss, and let his fingers go anywhere they wanted.

Potter's eyes were so green, and so misty, so wonderful, Draco loved it. He pressed his nose against Potter's chest and began trailing soft licks again.  
All the way down he went, and he knew he was a tease when he kept licking, and licking, and licking like a cat drinking milk. Occasionally he lifted his eyes just enough to watch Potter squirm.

"Stop stalling," Harry ordered when he couldn't help it anymore.

Draco laughed and muttered against the coarse hair, "Beg for me and I will."

Potter's skin was so warm, and Draco kept drawing deep breaths in to inhale Potter's scent. He felt like all his thoughts started to melt, like he was getting high solely on smelling Potter's skin, and hearing his voice.

Harry made an impatient whine, and tried to push up so he could get his cock on Draco's lips but Draco pulled up and laughed, "I said beg for me."

This was just a game, and Potter knew it too. He didn't need to have any control over Potter right now because Potter was his, and would always be, and they both knew it.

Draco smirked as Potter gritted his teeth, "Malfoy –"

His voice had that rough edge, and it made Draco raise his left eyebrow.

"I really, really need you to touch me now. Suck me, or fuck me, I don't care but I need it, now." Potter said impatiently.

Draco couldn't stop smiling, "Say 'please'."

Harry clenched his jaw but was trying hard not to smile too, "Please, I'm begging you, touch me."

Draco gave a quick smirk before he dived right in, and swallowed Potter's cock as deep as he could. Potter whined so nicely, so needy; and Draco loved it.

This time his wand was close by so he could perform all the spells he wanted, and soon he was pushing his fingers inside Potter while he kept sucking him, pressing his tongue hard against the shaft.

"You're perfect," He heard Potter mutter in between the loud, uncontrollable moans.

_So are you, baby,_ he thought but didn't want to stop the sucking even for a moment_, so are you._


End file.
